Why am I unattractive?

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No, it's not pure chance. Typical NTs are compatible with a majority of people, and unless they have too high expectations, they can easily get into a relationship. People that are very attractive will develop "filters" for whom they might want to be in a relationship with because they have so many people interested in them, and this can go wrong if nobody fits their expectations.

It's only in ND courtship that smarts and creativity is a factor, and this doesn't matter much for NTs. It might be a plus, but not much more than that. So when NDs go into dating by trying to achieve as much as possible to be able to show this off, it won't impress much on NTs. It's just a small plus, often one that is masked by being weird. And women being smart is even a negative for many NT men, and it seldom is a plus.

The chance factor is that you serendipitously run into someone you like who likes you back. It's the same for all nuerotypes.

No, it's not. It's at least 10 times more likely an NT will run into somebody they like than for an ND.

Well that not true many NT men are turned on by intelligence

Also I agree there is chance to it. But it's nice to make an effort so when you find that right person you have the best first impression.

Although always be yourself, I tried to be one of those always perfect looking girls for a guy but it made me hate myself. I'm quite happy in pjs, no make up, and playing video games hahahaha

I agree with rdos in the most part. Even though I can actually flirt! My problem was probably not knowing when to stop flirting and show off as an empathetic and sensitive woman.
There is no point in learning how to do more pretending. I am now, quite successfully, dating an Asperger guy, after 6 years of being single (and obsessively doing kettle bells squats at the gym, so it's really not about the look).

What also I believed helped, was this 'love coach', you can google her, Kavita Patel. She puts a lot of emphasis on how to clearly communicate your needs and wants and avoid conflict while being who you are (in comparison to others who just, basically, tell women to pretend more).

I still feel like there must be something inherently unattractive about me though.

Men just see me as nothing and I don't really believe that will ever change. I'm sick of hoping and just getting hurt

I think that attractiveness isn't the problem its behaviour. If people are telling you your attractive then I would take that as the case.

I have come across problems recently not knowing how to show the correct interest with women and they lose interest or I show to much interest and scare them off! as I can't show what I want or know how to react at times . I've never dated properly though so its a learning experience for me I guess, one that is not natural at all.

I have my main problems when I am attracted to someone and not expect it back gets me very confused and I shut down a bit which doesn't help. I just mentally had wrote them off already as won't be interested guess that's just me over thinking things as usual. I guess you can't pick the people who are interested in you and I shouldn't over think things.

Ooh coaching is a good idea. When I was single i did alot of looking up how to attract someone

They are? I suppose that's why the group of women that are most likely to be single are those with a high education. If I'm not mistaken, NT men are typically turned on by looks, sex, and women being good with cooking. They often feel threatened by women that are smarter than them. Not all of them, but a good majority.

That's because they are more picky not because of men not liking them. There have been studies on it

I find that too simplistic. NT men will often prefer young women, and won't care so much about their education or smartness. NT women will often prefer to marry-up (or at their own level). These two things result in many of the potential partners of highly educated women already being in relationships with less-educated women, and it is this that creates a shortage of potential mates for highly educated women. Another result of these preferences is that low-status men will also end-up as single.

I am aware of many NT men who are attracted more by the substance of a woman than by the frills.

What is "substance"?

Intelligence, assertiveness, creativity, flexibility.

I'm a sapiosexual. I get turned on by intelligence.

One time, I became sexually excited through a woman talking about macroeconomics.

Another time, I found it hot when I saw Condoleeza Rice playing the piano.

NT men aren't these big mean guys who only value sex and apperance. They too appreciate itelligence and creativity much like ND men. Alot of then are annoyed by women who dumb themselves down.

Besides I think NDs can be more picky in apperance sometimes because we know exactly what we want and struggle to compromise

You are not NT, so you cannot say which preferences are typical of NTs based on your own preferences.

Also, assertiveness in women is clearly not a NT preference. Just look at the link hurtloam presented before which claimed that NT women wanted men to keep eye-contact longer than them, which is a sign of NT women being less assertive than NT men, and that they even have this built-in to their nonverbal communication.

I also prefer women that are smart and creative, but I'm not NT either, so it doesn't mean NTs work like that.