Have you ever dated or been in relationship before?

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I'm currently in my first ever relationship. Sometimes it's about finding that one person who is right for you.

Someone said they felt silly asking for continued communication? I had an experience with my friend recently where I asked if texting her randomly was weird (cause I had avoided it before). She called me silly and said she would love it.

If it's getting a numberjust like make a plan in person and then go 'could I get your number just in case I need to contact you'.

Two short-term relationships, dumped both times (dumped a total of three times).

I dated my first ex for 12 days and then she broke up with me. Around a month later we got back together, but she dumped me again 5 days later and started dating some new guy only 3 days later. 17 days total.

My second girlfriend, we lasted one month and one week, but I only saw and hung out with her in the first two or three and we ended up spending 2-3 weeks apart before she dumped me.



"I've been in 4 and none of them lasted more than a month."

What happened to the last girl, max? The one that had a crush on you back (but, then again, I didn't last long with my first gf and she DID like me back).

All very interesting responses and I can respect that some long to be in a (successful) relationship, quite the opposite of where I stand on this issue. I can be ok without ever being in an relationship as long as I have a copious amount of physical affection (hugs, kisses, and the like). Then again, being in a relationship there are some periods of intimacy, but then after a while those are gone or become ubiquitous as the relationship matures. I mean yes, there are still husbands and wives that still kiss each other everyday and occasionally make love with each other, the same with relationships, but the other aspects of a relationship just don't really appeal to me. (Spending time with s/o, growing pains as the relationship enters a later stage, having children, etc.)

Long story short, I'd prefer being single as I feel that the perks in a relationship I could most likely get from just a platonic friendship alone (some social interaction, spending some time at events, and the hug from others), and perhaps my priorities in life are elsewhere (self-set goals, bucket list of activities, learning topics of my interest, etc.) as most of the things I want to be able to do are already more than enough for my entire lifespan.

Heavy sigh. I've had one approx 2.5 month relationship in my 20's.We were both Catholic so of course Ma thought we would get married. Looking back I wasn't really happy with him and my Ma kept saying stuff like I probably would never find another guy like him again. Whatever. Anyway, he wanted to date other people and thought I'd be there if he wanted to come back, but no. It ended. Now I'm glad because I never would have went to nursing school or have been independent and able to rely on just myself with my condo and all.

I've had single dates since then, but never a second date with any of them. I either didn't like them like I thought or they thought I was easy and that I was going to have sex with them on the first date - those were the ones that I asked out. Now, it's going to have to be someone really special in order for me to call them my Hunny. I'm used to stretching out a lot in bed.

I never had a relationship till I was 20 when my 1st girlfriend told me she liked me. We were good friends on an online forum & had some issues in common. I realized I liked her & decided to get in a relationship with her because I was worried about her because of some of her issues & I felt like I could help her better. She was also the 1st person I ever got close to emotionally & I felt like we related. We broke up after about 6 months partly because of both our issues. I didn't have my next relationship till I was about 28. We met here on WP after I was making LOTs of post about what I wanted in a relationship & had to offer a partner. Megz responded to a post about how she was wanting the same thing so i PMed her & we became a couple after chatting abit. She broke up with me after about 6 months because she realized she'd be better off without a relationship with anyone & I had some issues because of my anxiety & OCD. I started anxiety & OCD medication & shortly after she broke up with me another girl messaged me here on WP after reading lots of my post. We got into a relationship after chatting abit. We met up a couple times & we moved in together after 8 months of knowing each other. We've been living together about 3 & a half years now. I relocated from Louisiana to Vermont to be with her. I was stuck living with my parents & unemployed due to disabilities so I felt trapped where I was.

Used to try asking girls out a few times back in the day. Then I would ask once a year, Then I said the hell with it, I'll just imagine a girlfriend. Problem solved.

Yes to both.

Currently spending time playing games on my PC, instead of being subjected to mental games by females.

Never had any short relationships, no hook-ups, no ONS and no dating in the typical sense of the word. According to the typical definition of a relationship, I've had two. The first lasted maybe half-a-year, and ended because of a silly mother of the girl. The second one has lasted for almost 25 years. Then I've had a few observation things, typically lasting from a year to three years.

I'm gay here. I had went on three dates with a guy and obsessed over him while being naive and not being mature enough to recognize I was living in a play of a guy I like rather than the reality. He put in too much for me to the point of spending $75 for a present for me and buying me every dinner possible. He lacked self worth to the point he constantly hooked up with dirty guys and he was just an oblivious dumb a** in general. The only thing we had in common was the autism spectrum, that was it.

Second guy........let's start with this a** hole. After three dates in the midst of thinking everything will go well, he suddenly gives me some dumb prep speech about how I deserved to know how he felt and told me he was not looking to date when yet he really meant he was not interested in me. He had a dating site account and stuff. I remember texting him and getting upset with him because I felt disgruntled for rejection at the time and I should have just stopped but he completely disappeared eventually.

Here comes the last and the longest...............................

Then my first and ex boyfriend. We had been together for six months. The majority of it was a big honey moon phase with a lot of good times in those moments. However, it became closer to me that he was not emotionally available for me and he was not passionate enough for me. We only had metal, horror movies, being different (he had ADD, maybe aspergers, never said he had it), and a dark sense of humor in common. That was the baseline of a friendship if anything. His views on things and the way he went about life and the people he surrounded himself with were too shallow for me. As I had better things to do. He was not the nicest person in general and was bad at communicating with me and despised my friends in secret. I wouldn't be surprised if he cheated on me going around with his self conceited sense of self.

I had more empathy and compassion for people and my family than he did (another reason we broke up). I remember him burping loudly, in front of my family and not excusing himself. My family had said something to me. It sucks to have a man who cannot conduct respect around a family different than him/ his family. Hated his philosophy of blaming his problems on people who made more money than him or people who did better than him. Victim mentality, ey? He did not like that "I would tell him what to do" I remember breaking up with him (I proposed it haha) and he suddenly responds with, I wanted to break up with you too, just could not find the words to say. Of course a bag full of s**t. He was a dodgy minimalist who could not put up with my perspective on life. Believe me, I'm big on someone who has manners and someone who can also see the big picture.

One last one......

I remember recently meeting a guy out on a date (in march) and we had talked, had a coffee and kissed in my car. Then after that, I felt I more so wanted to hook up with him and of course he could not accept that. At least he was a nice and decent human being.

Dating/ Relationships are not easy.......

I've had one real LTR. We met via online dating (like all my partners), had a good time on the first date and kissed a couple times, then started seeing each other more often. Since the age of 18 I've only lived with my parents or with grandparents very close to the university I attended, and she was >100 miles away the whole time, so we only saw each other an average of once a week. For two years, I went through a bunch of jobs/job training, and finally went back to said college in another state. It wasn't long before I started to realize I didn't actually love her and ultimately just hated being single - so I dumped her. Looking back, I wasn't honest with myself at all - I was good with her young daughter but didn't like the lack of freedom, didn't enjoy being around most of her family, didn't like how obese she was...I felt trapped but was (and am still) afraid of being alone the rest of my life.

I've had various hookups before and after that, but there's a strong disconnect between my criteria and the "pros and cons" of me as a person for the foreseeable future (lack of stable employment, living with parents, various lack of success, overweight, and the "Aspie stuff" like speaking in monotone, correcting people). I desperately wanna live to a bigger-but-not-too-big city, because the chances of finding a girl who:
- I'm truly attracted to
- Isn't a single mother
- Has compatible taste and largely "nerdy" interests
- Is okay with not having biological children
- Enjoys being around me
are slim to none.

I've spoken romantically with two girls I'd met online who were in my local area. I'd never met either of them before circumstances tore us apart. I realised the first girl just wasn't right for me, and the second had kept postponing our meetings until she eventually confessed that she'd hooked up with her ex.

I went on my first ever date earlier this year, but it didn't result in another.

I would like to be in a relationship, but frankly, I don't feel worthy of one yet. After I fix a few of my perceived shortcomings, I'll probably look more seriously for one. but experience has shown me that I'm not particularly attractive to women the way I am right now. Moreover, I'm not as comfortable with myself as I'd like to be. I feel as though becoming comfortable with myself will allow everything to fall into place for me. Perhaps I'm being too idealistic, but it seems like the most logical solution to me.

Been on a handful of dates; never had any turn into an actual relationship though. Back when I was in school I had a decent amount of girls that seemed interested in me, but I wasn't ready, overwhelmed with work, didn't know what to do or say, etc. I'm pretty much fine on my own. I don't have a huge drive for partnership and I've accepted the fact that there's a chance I'll never have a partner.

Heh, believe it or not, I broke off my first official relationship. That was a long long time ago. We met at a summer camp, and went out together for a total of two weeks, after that her term was up. I couldn't do the long-distance thing (and we were young anyway), I didn't really want a romantic pen pal across the ocean. I broke it off in fall, my first year in high school. No, I did not date anyone at school that year, but the long distance thing I just can't do.

Later in life I had nothing but bad experiences and nothing in official capacity.

I have only ever been in 2 relationships. First lasted a year last was my ex which lasted 17 years.

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( If I ignore a reply it's not intentional I get distracted, send me a PM to prompt me )

I pretty much feel the exact same way as you. I'm close to 28 and still never pursued dating but I am totally at peace with it. I am happy with my life right now. I'm making money and have a good job, I get a lot of peace and quiet and never have to answer to anybody. I can do what I want, when I want. I feel if I tried dating, it could just cause me a great deal of stress, anxiety and unhappiness and it would affect my everyday life including my job performance.