Fake nice guys!

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It's funny that everyone accepts that life overall isn't fair, but not the romantic aspect of it.

Yet if it were a female that wanted to get laid, no one would be offended. What's wrong with a young man wanting to have sex? It's programed into our DNA. News flash, you can want to have sex and NOT be manipulative. As long as you're honest, what's the problem? Wanting to have sex to full-fill primal urges and manipulating someone isn't necessarily correlated. Desperate Virgin: "I want to know what sex feels like." Angry Feminist reply "Omg you make me sick. I jsut want to vomit. How DARE YOU!! !"

I'm not a nice guy, I'm Snake Plissken. I don't give a f*ck about your labels, or your feminism.

Every gender likes sex.

Women like it. Men like it.

Women tend to be more subtle about it. Men more direct about it.

But the reverse can be true as well.

Well I wouldn't like if a guy was faking kindness just to get close to me, especially since I've already got a boyfriend but even before that...I'd say the same I mean who wants someone who fakes they're a certain way? I'd be suspicious about someone being too nice all the time as normal humans get unhappy, if a lot on their mind might be inconsiderate/preoccupied or express frustration here and there.

Aside from that if a guys only trait I find appealing is 'niceness' I can imagine that could get boring pretty quick. There has to be a bit more substance in a relationship than just being nice to each other.

Nothing is wrong with that in itself, what would be wrong is if a guy expects that doing nice things for a girl means she is obligated to have sex in return for it. Perhaps that is how this teens complaints came off to the person who made the vending machine comment.

I just expect anything from women at all, ever. That has solved my problem.

Hehe. It's funny you should say that - that was the "as*hole"'s point. In the rest of the article he mentioned that a lot of women enjoy just sex, but to actually get to the point of having sex it was important to show respect and not take it personally if the woman in question wasn't interested.

He said that the majority of his overtures were rejected, but since that was the way of the game, it didn't worry him much, since he actually did manage to get laid quite a few times. He mentioned that he'd seen quite a few young men sulk because they didn't get sex, and he said that few things are more off-putting to women - and he's right about that.

Sometimes I think the hippies were right about free love. It's not my thing, but neither is the battle of the sexes.

If someone is a nice person they have various strengths that flow into this concept of them seeming a 'nice' person, niceness to me is something that you have worked to hold as an extension of yourself. Genuinely nice adults have worked on lots of things within themselves constantly as they progress in life to become this nice person who deals with things differently and more productively, thoughtfully and healthily than someone who comes across as a nasty person. This doesn't mean a nice person is perfect or superior in every single area to someone who isn't all that swell, or one who loves playing Bad Ass or whatever, it just means they are going to be much smoother to deal with in many respects on deeper issues and will react to turbulence on either side with a more steady hand than someone who is going to seek to pin blame and bluster at your feet when the garbage hits the fan or ditch the ship when the waves get rocky or not be able to give you enough back that a person who puts the depth into themselves to grow and change would... it's hard to explain.

You weigh up the niceness of a potential partner with what else they offer in the capsule of what you deem a viable romantic pursuit! If you're a nice person you deserve to find another nice person, people can change though and some people think they can be the change they want to see reflected but they shouldn't need to put in more effort than they'll receive if it's a constant imbalanced crusade... tl/dr niceness is measured in a constellation of actions, communication and intentions over time... even serial killers can charm a crocodile who smells blood.

The opportunity for conflict and chaos is much higher in unbalanced relationships because one side takes advantage of the wellspring the other is drawing from to keep it afloat, they aren't willing to learn enough to discipline themselves and become 'nicer', maybe some girls prefer that kinda dynamic but a man doesn't lose an edge by toning it down and finding clearer ways toward resolving his feral inner beast, it can be channeled in better forms once you've figured enough out to grow out of the adolescent mind state!

I think the most important distinction here is, there's a difference between being kind (compassionate, caring, empathetic, listens to others, etc.) and being nice (overly polite, two-faced, passive aggressive).

And if you're wondering why women don't find you attractive or interesting, it's probably because you're the latter.

If, once a relationship is established, and when that point is reached, it is determined that the couple is not sexually compatible, is the guy leaving necessarily a "nice guy(TM)" move?

Or you could take into account a vast majority of women, especially those under 30 feel self entitled, have ridiculously high standards and will lead a guy on. They'll use a guy for emotional support, one that compliments them and listens to all their problems and wind up dating another guy instead. See, the nice guy is seen as being beneath them. There are a lot of females that keep guys around just to feel good about themselves with no intention of dating them.

You shouldn't let a couple of bad experiences get to you so much.

EDIT: Bad Engrish

Last edited by TheSpectrum on 11 Jun 2016, 7:04 am, edited 2 times in total.

It's more than a couple and it's not just me. Do you really think it's a coincidence how it happens to so many men? Every male friend I have ever talked to has gone through this and there are countless accounts of man that talk about it. My point is, the female gender isn't some magical gender. Women can be at fault, just like men can. Both genders need to look out for toxic people.

I know, dude. It's happened to me, I'm sure it's happened to most guys at some point.
I'm sure a lot of people here can also attest to this. But hey life goes on.

Some women are downright toxic and some guys are manipulative sleaze balls. Water is wet.

So, what was your point again? I'm trying to help out naive men, naive like I once was.