Counselor wants me to accuse my ex of rape.. but he didn't..

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Sweetleaf
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07 Jun 2016, 11:06 am

Wow that is pretty disturbing on her part, certainly doesn't sound like rape to me...I'd report her for trying to file false reports. Not sure if any legal action can be taken if you don't press charges but yeah I don't like the sound of this counselor one bit.

I sort of regret my first relationship when I was in college, turned out not to be much of a relationship but there was no sex without my consent...pretty sure lots of people have jumped into relationships where it didn't work doesn't mean the sex had becomes rape if later you decide the relationship as a whole wasn't worth having.


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07 Jun 2016, 11:16 am

Have you been a member of WP before, KatieNic? Are you used to used to asking advice on these message boards? This is a heavy topic.

What did the counselor say specifically was the reason she considered it to be rape?


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07 Jun 2016, 12:04 pm

I agree with those others who say don't report it. You weren't raped and the idea that autistic people can't consent to sex is wildly inaccurate.



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07 Jun 2016, 2:14 pm

Based on the counsellor's inability to recognize your agency, you need a new counsellor at the very least.
I'd also consider filing a report - against the counsellor.


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07 Jun 2016, 5:47 pm

I find this frightening. That she either that supportive of buyers remorse=rape/taking advantage of

Or worse that spectrum/disabled people don't have agency? Her level of counsel is often an expert opinion in court, Plus she may further her degree and become a psychologist.
So you can't judge consent. Can you have custody of your kids ? Can you have right to even have kids since you don't know what you are getting into (lel who does?) <_<

Holy Blessings of Sanger Batman! Need to somehow report this


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nick007
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07 Jun 2016, 7:07 pm

That counselor really does NOT understand Aspergers. Hypothetically if you were to press charges on him; you would of had to have told him about your Aspergers otherwise he would not know that your consent wasn't valid. & assuming you did tell him about Aspergers, you'd have to prove to a court how you are not mentally fit to give consent & that would be pretty hard to prove. The counselor is oblivious to hassle you'd have to go through or doesn't care. Either way she should NOT be counseling others. I'd file a complaint with whoever is above her.


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07 Jun 2016, 7:21 pm

For the reasons others have discussed above, I recommend you report her to her licensing board. If you're not sure what board it is, look for her professional designation (usually initials that appear after a name on a business card or clinic listing, like "Jane Doe, LCP"). Then Google those initials along with your state (if in the U.S. - other countries likely have the same system at a province or national level). Each U.S. state licenses various forms of medical and psychological professionals, and investigates allegations of improper conduct. This does not take the place of a police report, and you can certainly do both, but the licensing board has a few advantages:

1. Licensing boards can act on lesser offenses than criminal courts. If what she did is not a crime in your state, it may still be a professional ethics violation.

2. Your complaint is evaluated by professionals in the field. The police are great, but they don't have special experience with counseling and may not realize the impact of such a betrayal of trust by a counselor. A licensing board does.

3. Licensing boards are more likely to correlate your complaint with other similar complaints. If she has been soliciting other women to falsely accuse men, it becomes a pattern of abuse and thus more serious. Police departments try to do this too, but again they are not specialized and may not connect the pattern as easily.

4. A criminal conviction may result in probation or a fine for her, while the licensing board can take away her access to patients. In this situation it is the access to patients that gives her the power to do to someone else what she tried to do to you - and that is the important thing to prevent.

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. A counselor should be a resource and an ally. Betrayal of that trust is a serious matter.



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07 Jun 2016, 9:15 pm

Quote:
If she has been soliciting other women to falsely accuse men, it becomes a pattern of abuse and thus more serious.


I don't think the counselor intends for anyone to falsely accuse anyone. The problem is that her ignorance of ASD leads her to believe that a rape actually occurred.



aspiemike
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08 Jun 2016, 6:17 am

I sounds like your counsellor believes that not only autistics can't consent, but also seems to think that feeling of regret is worthy of accusing others of rape. Does she have no sense of responsibility? Your counsellor sounds dangerous and I will agree that maybe you should stop seeing her.


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enz
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09 Jun 2016, 7:27 pm

If he goes to prison with a rape conviction his life is basically over



aspiemike
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09 Jun 2016, 8:12 pm

enz wrote:
If he goes to prison with a rape conviction his life is basically over


Even an accusation is enough to ruin his career advancement or chances for employment (false or legit). The "regret = rape" crowd doesn't seem to care or understand the consequences of throwing the r word around like that.


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09 Jun 2016, 10:48 pm

Quote:
Even an accusation is enough to ruin his career advancement or chances for employment (false or legit). The "regret = rape" crowd doesn't seem to care or understand the consequences of throwing the r word around like that.


There is no such crowd. Please don't bring MRA bullshyt into this discussion.



The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Jun 2016, 1:52 am

Quote:
https://witchwind.wordpress.com/2013/12/15/piv-is-always-rape-ok/


Your counselor is maybe one of this author's followers.

Check the comments.



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10 Jun 2016, 1:58 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
https://witchwind.wordpress.com/2013/12/15/piv-is-always-rape-ok/


Your counselor is maybe one of this author's followers.

Check the comments.

Wow, what a witch!