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How to go from just talking to a girl to asking her out?

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CommanderKeen
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09 Jun 2016, 8:48 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
I can talk to girls, I mean talking to them normally but I have a hard time transition from just talking to asking them out. I never know how to when or how to say it without it sounding creepy. Like it would just come out of the blue at the wrong time.

It was always easier on dating sites because I already knew they wanted someone to go out with them but now I'm talking to a girl on Facebook who I've been acquainted with for a few years. I have a conversation going but I'm not sure when, how or if I should ask her out.

I'm trying to strike up a friendship with her but I'm not sure if it's better to be friends with a girl before asking her out or if it's better go transition more directly to dating.

She's talking to me a lot more than she used to so she seems interested but I'm not sure if she's that kind of interested. How do I tell?

Ask and don't get bothered if she isn't. Literally, don't care so much if she says yes or no. Care that you had the courage to ask. With women, you really need a "I don't give a f*** attitude." Women of course will tell you other wise.



kraftiekortie
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09 Jun 2016, 8:50 am

Women like it better when a man exudes a certain confidence. A "don't care" attitude could do the trick if it's done amiably.

When a man seems to lack confidence, women really get turned off.



RetroGamer87
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09 Jun 2016, 4:33 pm

kraftiekortie and CommanderKeen. You were both right. I don't think she got that it was supposed to be a date. I didn't tell her. I thought she'd work it out but she didn't. I talked to her for a while after we got home. After I went to bed she posts this Facebook meme.

Image


I think I should just tell her.


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r00tb33r
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09 Jun 2016, 4:36 pm

You think something like "I want to spend more time with you" is not direct enough?

I'm curious myself. Ladies, a little help here?



kraftiekortie
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09 Jun 2016, 4:43 pm

Just say something like: "I enjoy your company. I hope I shall be the beneficiary of your company more often in the future."

Don't say anything sexual.



Outrider
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10 Jun 2016, 8:08 am

Wait, if she posted that facebook meme she's unsure what you want.

Yes do just tell her. Yes I am interested in getting to know you better for a potential relationship. I'm interested in you.



RetroGamer87
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10 Jun 2016, 8:14 am

I told her. She politely declined. That's OK. I'm just glad she didn't either act like a creep or give some vague ambiguous response. I've experienced both of those :|


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b9
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10 Jun 2016, 8:17 am

well you just have to say you're going home, and if she wants to come as well then say yes.

girls often want to accompany you to where you live when they are interested in you.



b9
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10 Jun 2016, 8:20 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Just say something like: "I enjoy your company. I hope I shall be the beneficiary of your company more often in the future."

that is so lame. such a cranked out reply.
it does not matter how smart you sound, it is more important what you choose to say.

i better go now or else i will get a warning i suspect.



RetroGamer87
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10 Jun 2016, 8:23 am

b9 wrote:
well you just have to say you're going home, and if she wants to come as well then say yes.

girls often want to accompany you to where you live when they are interested in you.
She lives more than an hour's drive away and she'd have no way of getting home. Anyway, I'm not in her company at the moment.


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kraftiekortie
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10 Jun 2016, 8:25 am

That's what I might say, buddy.

If you don't like it....then you don't like it.

Such is life sometimes.



b9
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10 Jun 2016, 8:28 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
b9 wrote:
well you just have to say you're going home, and if she wants to come as well then say yes.

girls often want to accompany you to where you live when they are interested in you.
She lives more than an hour's drive away and she'd have no way of getting home. Anyway, I'm not in her company at the moment.

getting home is not much of an issue really. not a good reason to not come with you.



b9
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10 Jun 2016, 8:30 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
That's what I might say, buddy.

If you don't like it....then you don't like it.

Such is life sometimes.

i am curious as to your use of the word "buddy" and i think it indicates a mild level of aggression, but i am only talking from my point of view when i said what you said was "lame", so just get over it. it is of no lasting significance.



kraftiekortie
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10 Jun 2016, 8:33 am

Because I say what I say. There's no aggression here.

I don't call you out on everything you say. I let you say your piece. You're a different person from me.

If somebody doesn't want to take my advice, that ain't my problem.

One man's delight is another man's poison.



b9
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10 Jun 2016, 8:36 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Because I say what I say. There's no aggression here.

I don't call you out on everything you say. I let you say your piece. You're a different person from me.

If somebody doesn't want to take my advice, that ain't my problem.

One man's delight is another man's poison.

yeah cool. not a problem.



RetroGamer87
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10 Jun 2016, 8:49 am

b9 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Just say something like: "I enjoy your company. I hope I shall be the beneficiary of your company more often in the future."

that is so lame. such a cranked out reply.it does not matter how smart you sound, it is more important what you choose to say.

i better go now or else i will get a warning i suspect.
Yeah but she didn't get my hints so I had to ask directly. I said I liked her. She asked how I liked her. I said I wanted to date her. She says she has too much going on in her life to date right now.

Funny though, she got excited when some other guy offered to let her move in with him, so she could get away from living with her alcoholic sister, didn't she think I'd let her move into my apartment? This other guy hasn't even gotten his house yet, he's still in the market for one.

But I like that I could ask her directly and get an answer directly without anyone thinking I'm strange. She tends to speak very literally.


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