Re joined dating websites

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Because the ND game doesn't work like that. The ND game doesn't contain conversation and talking about what to do. It's assumed that you know that.



No, it was a test if she was talking to a guy that could handle the game and be funny in return, and he failed it. I think she eventually drew the conclusion that he was boring.

To me, it seems like the OP is super-serious about dating. That's not a good thing with neither NTs nor NDs. For NTs, it's typically creepy to be super-into somebody you hardly know. For many NDs, it's ok to obsess about people you like, but it's not really ok to be super-serious all the time. It indicates you are boring and lack humor.

In this case, the OP should just have relaxed and turned-off all his NT adaptations and just acted naturally towards her. I know I would have, especially since she wrote enough triggers for me to get where she was coming from.

Rdos, you need to calm down on your assumptions.

My friend just messaged me a ago, who is a ND as well. It was her friend that she found out about me, that who I was talking about yesterday. She didn't know I am friends with her, and as well I didn't know she is friends with her. Then she explained to her about the situation by she showing the messages like I posted earlier in the thread. Then she remorsed herself after hearing that I am on the spectrum and she apologised for her behaviour. We are going to meet in person but avoid online communication until then. It was my ND friend best suggestion to do.

Wait, one of your friends knows the woman online?

And you're meeting her in real-life?

That's great!

Though don't be too hurt if it doesnt work out as she did sound very aggressive online.

Good luck and nice job.

So she is a friend of one of your ND friends? I'd bet she is ND too.

Good that you are meeting her in person instead. That will probably work better. Just make sure you are not pretending to be NT when you meet her.

I highly doubt she is a ND. My friend told me she met her from card games sessions meetup.

I got 20 fake porn bots messages on Okcupid in past 4 days. Geeze its getting worse and worse these days. I have none of them on PoF. But women on there are less responsive.

How does that prove anything??



I have a OkC test account, and I get no spam at all. It must be your activities there that generates spam.

Just because you messaged someone doesn't mean they're obligated to reply. Assume you won't hear back from most girls, be pleasantly surprised when you do.

Bemoaning the 25 girls who didn't reply instead of being happy about the one that did is a recipe for misery.

Isn't that a kind of desperation? You message 26 girls you like, and then one of them answers you back, so you chose her because she is the only one that appears to have any interest. That does sound like unhealthy desperation to me.

I prefer a more healthy tactic. I will flirt with any girl I find attractive, but then I'll only get an interest in those that reciprocates properly. That's not desperation to a similar extent because I won't care a bit for the ones that doesn't reciprocate, and I certainly won't try to talk to them or message them. Also, just because somebody reciprocates, doesn't mean I will talk to her or develop an interest or get a crush on her.

Yep, that's internet dating. It's not desperation, it's how intenet dating works (and if you think it is, it probably isn't for you).

It takes two seconds to send a one- or two-liner. It's not like anyone invests a whole lot of emotional energy in a quick message sent to someone online.



If that works for you, terrific - as it suggests you're meeting lots of potential partners IRL. I turned to online dating because I've lived in the same city for over a decade and wasn't meeting any new people... and thus had very few dates. Internet dating fixed that problem.

It looks an awful lot like desperation.



I have to invest a lot of emotional energy in somebody to get a real interest. I simply won't do superficial things like chatting with random strangers because I like people (I generally don't).



Actually, no. I don't. It happens rarely, but when it happens, it usually is high-quality. Quality is much better than quantity.



I don't do dating at all. Not my style. I see no reason why I should check and align NT values with a potential partner.

Internet dating is up some people's alleys but not others. Let a thousand flowers bloom.

OP is clearly keen on Internet dating, so his options are (1) keep at it, knowing that he'll probably not hear back from 90%+ of the girls he messages or (2) stop and meet girls some other way.

Wouldn't it be choosing them because you like them and they replied back? how is that necessarily desperation?

Where do you some of you come up with these numbers? There is no set percentage as to how many people wont message them back. Yes could be 90%, it could be 50%...40% or even 70% should they find no one responding it could be they need to fix up their profile or update it I mean it is the first impression the people they message are going to see so if its not doing a good job representing them that could be problematic.

I think it depends on who you're messaging - if OP elects to contact only the hottest girl, who get a million messages, the response rate will be very low.

In my experience, I responded to maybe 10% of the online messages I received.

I have three replies on Okcupid. Two on PoF. Communication consistency is not as high. Pretty much how you communicate with friends over Facebook. Not everyone always online.

Though it seems I am attracted to religious girls for some reason. Can they tell me that I am not like other guys who consistency asking for hook ups? Couple of girls told me they were bagged about it from these guys. I don't know if I able to handle marrying a religious girl. My values is so different. Like I support gay marriage, I believe climate change and progressive world. And this means no sex for long time, which makes me a virgin for longer time.

I am not trying to say to join dating websites to lose my virginity. But to be honest it about meeting women and have opportunities. Hell a lot of women already had sex according to their profiles. The only ones who are still a virgins are Asians and religious ones. I feel bad for being behind.