Messages women get in dating sites

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With the sexual ones you are potentially showing an interest in her hobbies and making her feel good instead of just asking "How are you?"

Joking. You're not boring, but you might have more luck with a unique message which shows an interest in her. You probably wouldn't want a message that felt like it could be sent to anyone, no matter how well-intentioned.

The only response I gave to sexual ones were 'no thank you'

And when I say personalise I mean like.

Hi I saw you liked video games have you played mass effect?

I appreciated the that someone took five minutes to read my profile instead of just glancing at my pictures.

Surely everyone wants to feel special to the one they love

How often do women get messages on dating sites from foreign men expressing "love at first sight"?

Way back during the Dark Ages (pre-Internet, ~1980s), I registered with a dating service. Most of the respondees to my generic ad claimed that they were act attractive, lonely, single foreign women, and that they had fallen in love with me the moment they saw my picture. All of their letters had domestic postmarks.

They almost always mentioned having a dire financial situation and at least one chronically ill relative ...

In my experience way too many, often from other countries. I even had one man tell me in the forst message how much he loved me and how he thought I would be a peacock if I were a bird :/

A very short personalized message is okay. I'm talking about writing more than one sentence. That isn't worth it. I wouldn't message someone without looking at their profile.

The problem is as a guy you can look for the one "special person" with a 95% match, while it seems like everyone else near you is 60% or less. When you only message your "special person" you find once every few months and each time don't get a response it gets frustrating. It seems whether someone responds or not is often based mainly on looks, unfortunately. You can pretend it's all about personality, but on a dating site people will easily rule you out based on how you look alone. It might not even be how you look in reality if you just aren't very photogenic and have trouble coming up with a good picture. It is just a shallow world. I don't think looks are quite so important in real life. Dating sites really inflate the importance of the picture, unfortunately.

The only way to avoid extreme frustration and disappointment is to be less picky and message people who aren't perfect matches, even people who's profile scares you off a bit for some reason. Otherwise you just won't get many responses. It's especially hard if there just aren't a lot of high-matching people in your area. I think this is a common problem for aspies. Many of us just don't have a high match percentage with the "norm" of the population. There are very few people with very high match percentages.

I'd be creeped out and would instantly delete a love at first sight message.

Neutral one-liners (how's your day) or a line referencing my profile (what's your fave beach on Vieques?) are the ones I write back to.

Though I am male, I have taken the trouble to go and meet some of these people and find out where they come from, and believe me hard that does not make it any better, though they probably feel the same way about me.

Internet dating websites are about as welcoming as a bear pit.

You have to wonder what sort of woman spends her time writing a blog about getting tons of messages on okc, just to complain about it. At least women have options on those sites unlike men. It's like a rich person complaining they own all these nice houses, but they don't own a house with an in-door pool. Cry me a frigging river lady. That's my take on it.

I think she was trying to help people send messages that are more likely to get a response

I do that way when i message them. I messaged like 10 that I liked. Only 1 messaged me back, but consistent because it seems she isn't always online.

Though I have a feeling when someone say 'Hi how are you?' all the time, it may have been stigmatised as a fake user or trying to fool them.

I also had lot of fake profiles and sex workers messaging me without looking at my profile. Its so annoying.

She is of the type who feels ego boost by mocking guys in public and the sort who wanna justify why she has no boyfriend by claiming she is encountering only idiots on these sites; she is another poor victim of male stupidity.

and no, she is helping no one, she didn't provide any advice - it's just mocking and public shaming.

It doesn't matter at all what you write in the first message (as long it's not something stupid or pervert) - all what matters whethet she finds you hot or not.

Look at my tinder thread, a guy perceived as hot in a certain culture gets tons of messages and matches - this is what matters really.

That's dating for ya. Online and IRL. It is about getting to know a person to find out if you're compatible... and unless you're incredibly lucky, there's trial and error involved.

All the women who have used dating states that have commented don't seem to have any issues, but all the guys who have commented have...I'm sensing a pattern here. Simply put, just like in real life dating men are at a disadvantage; it's just made worse online. Women hold all the cards in a relationship.

I had plenty trail and error I'm my online dating. Some guys just stopped talking to. Me or didn't respond. Also some guys didn't have the same values as myself so it didn't work out.

Trial and error is the main theme of dating, you have to sift through to find the person who suits you