How to get the HOT GIRL

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Alliekit
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24 Jun 2016, 5:53 pm

rdos wrote:

There are better alternatives. The most promising is to target hot ND girls. Many of those do not care about the typical NT-standards, and if you can trigger her ND courtship traits, this will trigger her interest in you, and give you an advantage over the huge mass of NTs.

what are ND courtship traits?

How are they triggered?

nopantspolicy
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24 Jun 2016, 7:26 pm

LOL why would a hot girl want to date an ugly dude with a bad personality who only wants to be with her because she's hot...?

Also a lot of guys don't seem to understand that the friendzone is just a polite way of turning someone down without getting shot http://whenwomenrefuse.tumblr.com/

nurseangela
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24 Jun 2016, 7:47 pm

rdos wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

A hot girl is going to want a hot guy in both the looks and the job department. Hollywood housewives are a prime example probably.

Actually, I take that back. You are probably right about hot girls wanting just money and prestige, where the Hollywood housewives come into it. Some of their husbands are butt ugly. :mrgreen:

I think you better take that back. Looks are much more important for guys than for girls. The Hollywood housewives only do it so they too can become famous and gain in social status and prestige. If they divorce, they also get a huge amount of money they can use to uphold their fame and prestige.

nurseangela wrote:

However, they usually end up divorcing or having an affair. I think there has to be a happy medium. Decent looks and a decent job for both AND a stellar personality. I don't want to be conversing with a "shoe" constantly.

I thought you would be content if he just compliments you regularly and buy you presents from time to time? Besides, if you need deeper talk, you can have it with a colleague or an affair. :mrgreen:

Buster, I'm not the sort to have an affair. And yes, my Hunny would have to have a good personality and be able to put up with my small talk - because I just looooooooooove small talk. :mrgreen:

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lidsmichelle
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24 Jun 2016, 8:23 pm

nopantspolicy wrote:

Agreed. Physical ugliness can be ignored if someone has a good personality, but if you're ugly inside and out yeah good luck with that.

And yeah frankly I'm scared of rejecting men. A guy and a group of his friends stalked me for like 3 months in 7th grade when I rejected him and kept telling me I had to date him. It was terrfiying. That year was full of a number of terrifying moments with guys, including being followed home by an upper classman who was sexually harassing me and wouldn't leave until I threatened to scream (I was so scared I didn't attend school for almost a week after). And of course being cat called by a group of construction workers, on the way to school which was less than 2 blocks from where they were working as it was clear I was a student.

I always feel like when I reject men I have to balance on a wire while dodging canon balls.

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lidsmichelle
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24 Jun 2016, 8:25 pm

HighLlama wrote:

Some of you have such black and white standards for what's "hot" or attractive, and then wonder why no one looks past your difficulties and quirks to see the real you.

^ this

rdos
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25 Jun 2016, 2:36 am

nurseangela wrote:

Buster, I'm not the sort to have an affair. And yes, my Hunny would have to have a good personality and be able to put up with my small talk - because I just looooooooooove small talk. :mrgreen:

So many of you women talk about a "good personality", but what is that exactly? I mean, there are natural differences in personality traits that seem to have a function, so that should mean that it's an issue of matching personality rather than good and bad personalities? Or is it similar to looks that guys go by, and that really doesn't differ a lot in interpretation between guys?

For me, a good personality includes persistence, being able to accept different opinions (without necessarily changing their own), being protective and things like that.

Kiprobalhato
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25 Jun 2016, 2:43 am

am i hearing an echo...?

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BTDT
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25 Jun 2016, 4:12 am

I misplaced the book, but as I understand it the hot girl had already selected her lifelong partner, but he died in an auto accident. As I understand it, being hot makes it easy to get the attention of people, but not necessarily the skills to deal with it. You only need one waiter--having all three rush over isn't an improvement!

Another idea may be to start off as a FWB--Friend with Benefits. Even if you have no social skills, you may have some physical attribute that can't be easily advertised on the traditional dating sites--yet may be the sole criteria for a hot girl. 8" puts you in the top 1% Women's brains work differently from men--it is hard for NTs to have just have casual sex, though who knows what will happen with ND women. And, if you can do something useful, like fix her broken stuff, she may want you visit her all the time.

Last edited by BTDT on 25 Jun 2016, 6:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

noumenon
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25 Jun 2016, 5:57 am

In general, you should always start out as friends in order for a relationship to be successful long term. Our society chooses to do a lot of things like this in reverse and it ends up causing a lot of problems later on when they realize they weren't compatible to begin with but try to make it work since they are already invested in to the relationship.

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rdos
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25 Jun 2016, 6:52 am

noumenon wrote:

I don't think so. There is no evidence that this has ever been the way the majority of people got into relationships. In the past, marriages were often arranged, and those marriages often lasted longer than ours, and also was at least as happy. With arranged marriages, people were not friends first, rather parents and relatives found a suitable partner for them. Being friends first is in no way similar to arranged marriages. In the stone-age, I'd say relationships probably formed with casual meetings, and people didn't select partners from their friend-circle. Doing so would create inbreeding since villages were rather isolated and you couldn't travel a lot to get together with friends.

So, no, I think this is a faulty idea of our culture that doesn't work well now and never did.

Sabreclaw
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25 Jun 2016, 7:54 am

Alliekit wrote:

rdos wrote:

what are ND courtship traits?

How are they triggered?

I am also wondering this. It would be convenient to know that I can just bypass any sort of individualism in people and just follow an algorithm to get a super-model partner.

Do ND men also have particular courtship traits?

HighLlama
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25 Jun 2016, 8:02 am

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

rdos wrote:

what are ND courtship traits?

How are they triggered?

Just bitching about their misfortune here.

lidsmichelle
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25 Jun 2016, 8:23 am

rdos wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

Buster, I'm not the sort to have an affair. And yes, my Hunny would have to have a good personality and be able to put up with my small talk - because I just looooooooooove small talk. :mrgreen:

Good personality depends from person to person I'm sure lol. Depends on what you want in a partner.

I consider a good personality to be someone who is kind and empathic (no, not in the way NTs think of it, I mean that they can see and understand the suffering of others and realise why it's bad even if they can't understand on a personal level), has a good sense of humor regardless whether or not they're good at being funny, has interests they're passionate about, and has similar values to mine.

I have a few things I consider mainly preference, like being witty and able to banter with me; but they are preference, not requirement like the above traits that I consider to make a good personality.

But that's my personal tastes. I'm sure there's people who prefer entirely different traits of personality in an SO.

Last edited by lidsmichelle on 25 Jun 2016, 8:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

rdos
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25 Jun 2016, 8:29 am

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

rdos wrote:

what are ND courtship traits?

How are they triggered?

No, there are no fixed sequences or actions you can to take, and it can take many forms. Humans don't have fixed action patterns in their courtship. There are some "rules of the game", but I'm sure I don't know these myself properly yet, and I'm currently at the level of "be yourself and it works". So that is the only simple way to do it (if you are ND). Be yourself, trust that your brain will come up with good ideas of what to do, and just do it regardless of how silly it might sound using your NT filter (at least as long it is legal and morally acceptable).

RetroGamer87
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25 Jun 2016, 8:34 am

I don't think starting off as a friend is a good idea at all. If you're friends with a girl, that's how she views you, as her friend. It may seem bizarre for her (and you) to be in a relationship with someone she/you regarded as a friend.

There's a chance you could come off as the "creepy" friend and if attaining a relationship is the sole reason you're her friend than you're not a very good friend.

In spite of these reasons I recently tried it with a long time friend after I found out she dumped her boyfriend. It didn't work. The good news is that she wasn't mad at me.

One of the things that I've learned in my attempts to chat up women is that they decide whether or not they would date you just about as soon as they meet you. So if you meet a girl and you keep chatting to her, hoping to convince her to go out with her, she may have decided 5 minutes ago that you're not the type of guy she'd go out with. If you apply this idea to friendship, it becomes the same thing with a longer time scale, i.e. this friend of mine may have decided 5 years ago that I'm not the type of guy she'd go out with.

But if the girl you're chatting with decides you are the type of guy she'd want to go out with, she'll do everything she can to facilitate her going out with you. It is futile to try and convince a girl to date you, instead you must find a girl who already wants to date you. Find such a girl and then you merely have to give her what she wants.

Anyway I have a date with a hot girl tomorrow and the good news is she's not a former friend. The bad news is that I met her on a dating site because figuring out how to date girls in meatspace is still something that alludes me.

BTDT wrote:

Another idea may be to start off as a FWB--Friend with Benefits. Even if you have no social skills, you may have some physical attribute that can't be easily advertised on the traditional dating sites--yet may be the sole criteria for a hot girl. 8" puts you in the top 1%

8 inches? Are you talking about what I think you're talking about? That doesn't always help. I know some girls definitely like that sort of thing but some girls hate it because it causes them more pain. The girl I was dating last year refused to do it with me because she found my size intimidating and thought it would hurt too much. My most recent girlfriend revealed to me she had similar fears. These turned out to be not unfounded. It always hurt her at the beginning and it caused her even more pain if I hit her cervix. In some ways being large down there is a disadvantage. Girls find it intimidating.

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kraftiekortie
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25 Jun 2016, 8:57 am

I believe some of the best relationships, actually, started off as close friendships.

It could be what RetroGamer said, though.

That's the risk one must make.

The best, best relationships, I find, have occurred in people who were childhood sweethearts.

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