the science of the friend zone

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Might be scientific in that attraction/romantic interest have to do with brain chemistry between people...but other then that it seems pretty simple. If a girl likes interacting with a particular male but doesn't have romantic interest than they will see them as a potential friend rather than a potential S.O. or vice versa, guys friendzone girls they don't have romantic interest in to.

the guy left a link to this other video in the description of that one i linked in the op:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VXXXX9iVPI
(offensive language galore)

i'm eagerly looking forward to an opportunity to post the link again as a comeback to some of aspie1's usual nonsense

the main reason for my posting this thread was actually the second half of the video ("a more philosophical twist than it might suggest"). which is what that guy typically does. he takes age-old subjective questions, analyzes them from a technical modern-world standpoint, and then turns it into universalized philosophy. it resonated a lot with me and the questions i find most important in my life

I haven't saved it, so redid it:



Pretty similar to yours, I'd say, except that I have zero on both NT social and relationships. My score was 153 ND / 45 NT, which is similar to what I usually get.

the "perception" part looks wildly different though. maybe that's the reason for the contrast between our perspectives / approaches?

i don't remember anymore the numerical result i got. i think it was something like 150/50 too, but i'm not sure. i only saved the link to the graph. is there a way to get the linear numerical result from that url alone?

Yes, and that is kind of odd given that when my youngest son was evaluated, he was oversensitive in ALL sensory domains, which apparently is unusual. Daughter is also highly oversensitive to sound, and I'm sure my primary domain is the auditory domain too (I don't think in pictures, and not in words either). Seems like I have found good coping mechanisms, because I'm not really oversensitive anymore, or at least I have no problems in that area.



No, but I think 150/50 makes some sense given your spider diagram.

Seriously, I think our differences are based on the NT relationship and social differences. I never was educated about how splendid those are, so I simply feel they are totally alien and nothing I need to care about. That includes dating, how you get into relationships (NT relationships), and also friendships (NT social).

I used to have a good relationship with my mother, but things changed with her after my parents split up and she remarried (someone with whom I can't relate or get along) and since then all my remaining family connections after my dad left (what few and flimsy I had) have ended one way or another. I never really had much of a relationship with my dad at all, even though he was physically there for all my childhood--he was just never interested in my siblings and I and never got involved or got to know us. So I've become sort of an adult orphan--and through that I've learned how to subsist with little human connection and how to be personally independent. I had to be personally independent to survive, and that combined with my tendency to not just enjoy but require tracts of time alone have led to this relatively isolated existence.

The one friend and somewhat familial contact I have retained (he is like a brother to me because I've known him since we were kids, plus he's gay and I'm straight, so I've always thought of him as family) knows me better than any of my actual blood relatives do, which is I think why our friendship has lasted. Because he knows me best and still accepts me as I am with all my flaws, and I do the same for him. I don't have to hide anything about myself from him because I know he won't judge me like other people do. He is equally incapable of playing social games with me as I am with him, so our relationship lacks that layer of BS altogether. I know that not everyone gets to have even one friend like that, and I feel lucky for knowing him.

But still, it makes me sad that being able to find and maintain a basic connection like that in life is so fleeting and rare. That rareness I think is what inhibits me the most in regards to putting myself out into the world more and trying to meet new people. If I can subsist with my life (and my very limited social connection) as it is and get some enjoyment out of it and not feel bogged down in self-loathing, then why risk new connections if finding and maintaining another quality one is so statistically unlikely?

There's also a fear underneath it all, though--because I feel like I have a tendency to draw people with a certain kind of pathology because of my history and my neurological "vulnerabilities", and the inconvenience of being female which lends it's own set of fears (because meeting new people can actually, though rarely, be dangerous).

I end up at this impasse of mixed inclinations--the social and the anti-social--and ultimately tell myself to be grateful for what connection I do have and leave it at that.

I don't know what my point was. Sorry for the ramble.

well it's not like i know what mine is either. and that is the very point. you're completely on-topic

and although obviously i can't relate to the exact details of your story, i do relate very much to the sentiment. it's this very sentiment that i'm talking about here. it may seem like or even actually manifest as misanthropy sometimes, but it's essentially disillusion. a pervasive sense of disillusion that you learn to breathe and inhale deep in your lungs

feel free to pm me anytime this week or this decade btw

Friendzone Level 99

^



or maybe he's like a flipperman? you could look at it that way

^ The human equivalent would be letting your crush and her bf f**k in your bed while serving them cookies and juice during breaks.

it sounded more like the equivalent of holding the guy and rocking him back and forth when he gets tired. "oh thanks bro. phew, i was starting to sweat here"

friendzone beats the burlap outta creepzone any day of the week.

Or holding his penis for a better penetration.

"hey bro let me give you a hand"

or, ...

actually, no, let's stop here. enough of the human whales already