Why don't people give real dating advice?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Sep 2016, 9:26 am

Because rare are those who are honest and non-politically correct.

Sweetleaf
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13 Sep 2016, 11:24 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Because rare are those who are honest and non-politically correct.

Technically I think one could be honest and politically correct at the same time...so long as they aren't taking the political correctness overboard.

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Sweetleaf
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13 Sep 2016, 11:27 am

Synth.osx wrote:

The real reason? Many people choose to live in a bubble where romance is a vague mystery of chance. If you break it down to a specific set of rules, people become disillusioned and struggle to accept that attraction is a process of selection.

That could explain the hatred or resentment many people hold towards pick up artists but in truth, they are honest.

I don't know about that, seems like they generalize females and act like the same approach works on any girl...at least for an initial hook up.

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Sweetleaf
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13 Sep 2016, 11:29 am

DevilKisses wrote:

izzeme wrote:

Noone really knows, that is the point.
Every person has his/her own style of approaching or writing a profile, and everyone responds differently, the "real" way does not exist.

Indeed, PUA tries to give definite answers, but they only work in a small subset of situations, aimed at having a night of fun with emotionally vulnerable women; it is not helpful for getting lasting relationships

All I know is that my current style is wrong. Whenever I write my profile I attract the wrong people and always give off the wrong impression of me.

Well last time you said you kept getting messeges/approaches buy guys you aren't into...does your profile specify you are looking for other females or no?

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TomS
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13 Sep 2016, 2:48 pm

Who do you mean by 'people'? People here, somewhere else, in general?

If you are talking about here, I'd say its false statement/assumption. People are endlessly giving full and thoughtful responses to questions. As good as I have seen anywhere and better then any NT site I've been on.

Now sometimes you see people who ask the same type questions over and over. They didn't get the 5th time and are unlikely to get it the 15th time. Or perhaps they are just seeking attention and just using people to stoke their ego. Like handtowels in the lavatory. With those you might see the quality of responses decline. Some are both.

racheypie666
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13 Sep 2016, 3:10 pm

When you send a message to a girl you like, show you have read her profile and looked at her pictures by asking a question or making a comment about them.

Maybe ask a friend to read your dating profile and look at your pictures to see if there's anything you can change to give a more accurate (and attractive) impression of yourself. For example if you pose with some of your artwork in one photo then you might give a more accurate impression of your artistic tastes. Dispel the idea you're into anime etc. by showing what you are into.

You could make it easier to both find and approach a girl by attending events where such a girl might be found. That way you already have a shared interest to talk about when you introduce yourself.

I think people generally give dating advice as 'real' as they can; it's such a grey area based on intuition, mutual attraction, wit, chance etc. that it's kind of hard to offer practical advice on. For example, the advice I've given above is sound in theory and from what I have observed others doing, but I've never done any of it myself. I can sympathise with your not knowing what to do though, so I've written practical solutions that you might like to try, even though I would be too scared too :wink: !

Closet_Genius
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13 Sep 2016, 4:02 pm

DevilKisses wrote:

I often ask simple questions like, what's a good way to approach a girl, how to write a good dating profile and what's a good first message? No one ever gives me real answers. I always get smart ass answers or some variation of just be yourself. I understand why guys get into pickup. They want answers and the PUA community is the only place that tries to offer an answer. I admit that if I were a straight male, I'd probably be into PUA shyt. Does anyone here have any real answers?

I sent you a PM

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Closet_Genius
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13 Sep 2016, 4:07 pm

I'm thinking about starting a thread to answer all the specific questions I can.

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Closet_Genius
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13 Sep 2016, 4:19 pm

I put up a thread to answer questions

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loneroamer
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14 Sep 2016, 12:40 am

Outrider wrote:

^In my experiences, it's somewhat the opposite - people prefer to live a life where the Just-World Fallacy applies.

Many people believe your likelihood of success in life is always determined by hard work and effort.

They believe a person who consistently fails at dating must be 'doing something wrong' even if they're doing everything right.

The truth is the just-world fallacy is a lie and the universe is entirely independent of personal thoughts and perception.

There is no 'right' or 'true' way to succeed in love and dating, it is determined almost entirely by luck and a few psychological or biological factors such as propinquity, inherent biological preferences, etc.

I know of physically attractive, confident, socially successful interesting people I went to high school with who have never had a relationship, and there's plenty of jobless, drug addicted hoodrats who seem to get into them easily with no effort on their part.

Haa Haa I like your attitude Outrider, I see the same thing in my social circle.

My advice as a female is ask questions. Show an interest in her, so often I find men give you their resume then sit back waiting for you to be impressed. Ask her about her life, her hobbies, her goals. Then you can work out if you think you could be a good fit and it will give you things to talk about. Also most women are kind, if you say "hey I am pretty nervous please forgive me if I stumble but I would really like to get to know you....' you will be given the benefit of the doubt. If you ask a question it creates a conversation if you make a statement it closes the conversation.

Good luck

nobodycaresaboutme
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14 Sep 2016, 1:58 am

not being sexist but you're a girl
as long as you aren't ugly you can get laid
doesn't really matter what you put on the profile, stats show girls have it easy on dating websites. help that their are more guys online

Closet_Genius
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14 Sep 2016, 2:05 am

nobodycaresaboutme wrote:

Some people want meaningful relationships.

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loneroamer
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14 Sep 2016, 2:09 am

I was trying to be helpful to the original post, from a female perspective.

Not into arguments about getting 'laid'

Closet_Genius
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14 Sep 2016, 2:15 am

loneroamer wrote:

I was trying to be helpful to the original post, from a female perspective.

Not into arguments about getting 'laid'

"nobodycaresaboutme" is depressed and pissed off. He's just posting negative comments. It didn't have anything to do with you loneroamer

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DevilKisses
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14 Sep 2016, 9:27 am

nobodycaresaboutme wrote:

That only applies to straight women.

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BTDT
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14 Sep 2016, 9:35 am

You don't get real dating advice because what you want is different from what they want. Most people don't actually know how to attract other girls because they either want a straight relationship or are of the wrong gender to help you out.

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