'Break' in a relationship

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I just don't see the meaning behind "a break" - go take a break in the next room for awhile. I went out with this guy once and he "needed a break" too - so he could date other people. Give me break.

The thing about being in love is that you don't want to be with anyone else.

Having a break isn't automatically 'I want to be with someone other than you."
It's 'I need a recharge."

And look, now you know he didn't love you, don't you?
We get so militant about love.
"You must love me and only me!"
Only that doesn't work because love must be freely given.

You know the old saying, "If you love something, set it free?"
That's how you know you have something special.

My flat is only made up of one room :'(

I mean just like take a step back. I'm madly in love with him and plan to spend the rest of my life wth him and no way do we want to be with other people.

Basically the arguments are due to use being so stressed. I've just started my masters and he has just started college so money is extremely tight. We bought this studio ad he was supposed to move in but he has struggled to find a job so has been having to work away and I'm struggling with this new place.

Before we met he got this loan which he is still paying off. 2 days ago someone stole 500 out of his bank (which was caught) and his card cancelled. Then instead of ringing the loan company he just left it (after I suggested he ring them) then moaned to me when they charged him extra.

I've also been struggling to get hold of my disability support today so it hit us both at the same time.

I've decided that maybe a break want work cause usually the arguments are when we are missing each other.

When we are actually together we rarely argue.


And I'm sorry boo I'm just in a bad place and the idea of breaking up made me really angry.

^ hugs.
I hope you can work it out.

Are you saying the guy lost 500 Pounds because he didn't want to follow up on it?

Or did he just lose the surcharge?

It's true: sometimes couples, when they are madly in love with each other, need to "take a break." I don't mean cheating at all. I just mean hanging out with other people, without hanging out with each other. No possibility of cheating outside the relationship.

I think you have an excellent point here. But here's the thing - my understanding of the word break is pretty common, as is your's. It really doesn't matter that you and I agree. What matters is that OP and her partner agree. If she's thinking "break" means that they go do a separate activity for an evening, and he thinks that break means that they are pausing their relationship and the rules of fidelity and loyalty don't apply for a time, that's a big problem.

In my world, if you simply want to do some activities separately, we don't call that a break, we call that a healthy relationship. If someone wants to take a break, they want to spend a certain amount of time not acting like they have a girlfriend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEn9YvJ3Gfg

The bank caught it so he didn't lose it. But he is paying off a loan at the moment and will miss a payment. Instead of ringing them to sort it out he is just putting them off. This is a loan that previously threatened court a year ago when he missed payments.

This is important stuff, Alliekit. A County Court Judgement might prevent you folks from getting a mortgage on a house. It means you have bad credit. He has to be more financially responsible.

I'm definitely not perfect as far as debts go. I've had my share of screw-ups....but I learned my lesson.

Exactly that's why I reacted the way I did. In the next few years I wanted us to start saving for a house. I just don't want something he got before we meant to mess with our future.

To make things 10 times worse his brother made him take out the loan and then took the money and moved away leaving my fiance in the s***.

A girl did that to me once, too. I co-signed for her on a $4,000 loan. She split with the money. She didn't pay back anything from the loan. I was left holding the bag. This was about 25 years ago.

A County Court Judgement stays on your credit report for six years. I would assume most other credit screw-ups stay on your report for that long.

In the US, most credit screw-ups stay on your credit report for seven years.

Relationships are hard kraftie

LOL....they certainly are.

In the UK, your boyfriend could submit a "notice of correction" for any late payments. This would consist of an explanation why the late payment occurred. This might help you folks when you're trying to get a mortgage. We don't have this option in the US.

Hope is not lost.

After taking a chance to relax and think, I do realise I was having a meltdown while on the phone and afterwards which is why I even entertained the idea.

I live in the US. I really did think your bf lost 500 lbs of weight. I was SO confused. I mean, that's really nothing to get angry about. But whatever, right? You gotta let other people be themselves...lol

I'm glad you're feeling better - at least a little bit.