Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Long distance is fustrating -___-

Page 2 of 2 [ 32 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

Sabreclaw
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Dec 2015
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,971

16 Oct 2016, 8:58 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Yeah, sorry, you've lost me now. What exactly are you hoping for from this thread? It's hard to think of anything useful when I don't know what the goal is.


You are a typical male.

You just want to solve everything.

You just need to *listen* instead and to cater for emotions.

umm.... I am confused too.


Solved problems are better than unsolved problems.



Alliekit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,182
Location: England

16 Oct 2016, 9:21 am

torch_ wrote:
Did you enter this relationship, knowing about your education/career goals at the time?


I did and it was a concern but he was worth the risk



Spiderpig
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,893

16 Oct 2016, 9:23 am

You need to listen, but you'd better solve every problem coming your way, too :P


_________________
The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.


Alliekit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,182
Location: England

16 Oct 2016, 9:23 am

To be honest my main sadness is the long distance. We are supposed to be living together and he is never here :'(



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

16 Oct 2016, 9:27 am

Is cost a consideration in him not being able to travel down to see you?

Does he contact you often?

I'm sorry you're lonely.



Spiderpig
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,893

16 Oct 2016, 10:39 am

Then maybe there is a good reason to reject poor would-be boyfriends after all :nerdy:


_________________
The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.


Alliekit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,182
Location: England

16 Oct 2016, 10:43 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Is cost a consideration in him not being able to travel down to see you?

Does he contact you often?

I'm sorry you're lonely.


He shouldn't be traveling to visit me he should be living here. His names on the rental agreement

We text all the time but he has been crazy busy



Alliekit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,182
Location: England

16 Oct 2016, 10:47 am

Spiderpig wrote:
Then maybe there is a good reason to reject poor would-be boyfriends after all :nerdy:


I don't want and will bot have any would be boyfriends cause I plan to spend my life with this person.


Oh dear god not this again.
I do not care about if he is poor. He had managed to visit me on a very low wage for the past 3 years so know it isn't an issue. I am just happy to be with someone who works hard at what they do.

Besides the reason I can't see him as much as I want is because he is working not because he is poor.



Spiderpig
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,893

16 Oct 2016, 11:01 am

Unless he makes lots of money, it's only a matter of moving far enough away to pursue your dreams before he can't afford to visit you anymore. Therefore, the poorer a boyfriend is, the more tightly shackled his girlfriend is if she wants to keep meeting him often.


_________________
The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.


Alliekit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,182
Location: England

16 Oct 2016, 11:10 am

Spiderpig wrote:
Unless he makes lots of money, it's only a matter of moving far enough away to pursue your dreams before he can't afford to visit you anymore. Therefore, the poorer a boyfriend is, the more tightly shackled his girlfriend is if she wants to keep meeting him often.


That's is why there is a nature of compromise. I made a commitment to him and he to me. I decided that he was worth the compromise. Just by nature I struggle with compromise because I always see them as challenges to be conquered.



torch_
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2016
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 45
Location: South East England

16 Oct 2016, 11:52 am

Alliekit wrote:
torch_ wrote:
Did you enter this relationship, knowing about your education/career goals at the time?


I did and it was a concern but he was worth the risk


Then all I can say is that you knew the risk, and perhaps shouldn't have committed so much and put so much into the relationship if it was going to come to an end or separation.

This is currently my issue. I want a relationship, but I don't want to commit forever to it. I just want someone to love for now, because I'll be moving abroad in a few years, and whoever I enter a relationship with will know this in the beginning. My career is coming first this time, because I scrapped it all for a person I was in love with over a year ago, and I regret not putting myself and my career and education first, over love, because they ended up screwing me over anyway.


_________________
Diagnosed officially with ASD and ADHD.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

16 Oct 2016, 12:08 pm

I didn't know his name is on the lease.



Spiderpig
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,893

16 Oct 2016, 12:11 pm

If I were to find a girlfriend and she wanted to have children with me, I'd gladly give anything up to make it possible; but this isn't gonna happen, so the only thing that effectively matters is my sorry excuse for a career.


_________________
The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,115
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

16 Oct 2016, 12:18 pm

Why.... this thread is sausage fest?



Alliekit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,182
Location: England

18 Oct 2016, 8:52 am

torch_ wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
torch_ wrote:
Did you enter this relationship, knowing about your education/career goals at the time?


I did and it was a concern but he was worth the risk


Then all I can say is that you knew the risk, and perhaps shouldn't have committed so much and put so much into the relationship if it was going to come to an end or separation.

This is currently my issue. I want a relationship, but I don't want to commit forever to it. I just want someone to love for now, because I'll be moving abroad in a few years, and whoever I enter a relationship with will know this in the beginning. My career is coming first this time, because I scrapped it all for a person I was in love with over a year ago, and I regret not putting myself and my career and education first, over love, because they ended up screwing me over anyway.


It's true but I'm in too deep now :). We had a talk about it and he said as long as I accept he wants a career too then we will find a way to make it work.

I had lots of lectures this Week so I'm feeling better



HisShadowX
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2015
Posts: 344
Location: Chicago

30 Oct 2016, 4:16 am

Alliekit wrote:
I'm really starting to get fed up of the long distance. I feel so lonely at the moment being in a new place and not knowing anyone.

I moved north to be closer to him but I'm more alone than ever.

I'm also want to be able to go off and do my thing without having to worry about how much I will miss him. I love him dearly but I want a career also.



Somethings gotta give and believe me one thing or the other will.

This is why I can't do long distance