Friend in love with girl who only makes him depressed

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26 Oct 2016, 10:20 am

You are describing a woman with a narcissistic profile. He is feeding her narcissistic supply. It is going to be a bad end game.

Alliekit
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26 Oct 2016, 10:49 am

Peacesells wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

I know it's his own fault he keeps going back with her. He is extremely awkward around girls so he isn't able to seduce. She always pulls him back by saying she is lonely and sending him...ahem...pictures.

What do you mean, she sends him nudes?

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I agree with you and before he started talying to her he managed to lose 10 stone. He has had quite a few people ridicule him for his weight (to the point someone climed up a pipe to the window of his bedroom on the first [second to US] floor just to humiliate and take the mick out of him.

Wow, they must be really stupid, it is very dangerous to clim pipes I think. Did he gain the weight back? He should cut her off and focus on himself.

Yea

she makes him feel like she loves him and stroked his ego.

Luckilt no but he has a long way to go and has been stagnant.

I definitely agree she needs to be cut off but everytime he mentions it she threatens to kill herself and he is too much of a gentle soul.

And @yournameishere the end game is what worries me, what if he succeeds next time

Sabreclaw
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26 Oct 2016, 11:13 am

Alliekit wrote:

And @yournameishere the end game is what worries me, what if he succeeds next time

Then you'll no longer have anything to worry about.

Peacesells
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26 Oct 2016, 12:09 pm

Alliekit wrote:

Yea

she makes him feel like she loves him and stroked his ego.

Well, then he definitely has some sort of seductive skills, if they went so far. I don't really feel bad for him, if he does this stuff with some else's girlfriend and keeps doing it.

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Luckilt no but he has a long way to go and has been stagnant.

I definitely agree she needs to be cut off but everytime he mentions it she threatens to kill herself and he is too much of a gentle soul.

And @yournameishere the end game is what worries me, what if he succeeds next time

Well he can just block her without making an announcment about it. I had some experience myself with girls who talk about suicide myself, even if she didn't say it because of me. They are toxic and better be cut off.

Last edited by Peacesells on 26 Oct 2016, 4:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Alliekit
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26 Oct 2016, 2:45 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

And @yournameishere the end game is what worries me, what if he succeeds next time

Then you'll no longer have anything to worry about.

That's really cold and harsh

Sabreclaw
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26 Oct 2016, 5:35 pm

Alliekit wrote:

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

And @yournameishere the end game is what worries me, what if he succeeds next time

Then you'll no longer have anything to worry about.

That's really cold and harsh

The situation seems to be beyond your control. So you could stress yourself out about it or just move on, but I expect the result will be the same.

Depressed people are dangerous. They're basically sinking ships, and they'll drag everyone who cares down with them. Better to just forget about them.

Alliekit
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26 Oct 2016, 5:49 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

And @yournameishere the end game is what worries me, what if he succeeds next time

Then you'll no longer have anything to worry about.

That's really cold and harsh

I suffer with depression and was once suicidal and yet I am not a sinking ship

Sabreclaw
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26 Oct 2016, 6:03 pm

Alliekit wrote:

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

And @yournameishere the end game is what worries me, what if he succeeds next time

Then you'll no longer have anything to worry about.

That's really cold and harsh

I suffer with depression and was once suicidal and yet I am not a sinking ship

Yeah, whatever. When this guy is dead you'll realize what a waste of energy it was trying to help him.

Alliekit
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26 Oct 2016, 6:16 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

And @yournameishere the end game is what worries me, what if he succeeds next time

Then you'll no longer have anything to worry about.

That's really cold and harsh

I suffer with depression and was once suicidal and yet I am not a sinking ship

Yeah, whatever. When this guy is dead you'll realize what a waste of energy it was trying to help him.

I'm just trying to understand you viewpoint. I just wondered of your view was all people with depression or those who wallow in it?

It's perhaps a waste of effort to you and that's fine. Just for me its worth the effort anf the longer I can keep someone alive and going the more worth it it becomes. I guess that's why I'm in the profession I am

nick007
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06 Nov 2016, 12:43 am

Is there any chance you could get him to talk to a professional about what's going on. It sounds like he really needs some psychiatric help.

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Alliekit
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06 Nov 2016, 7:21 am

nick007 wrote:

Is there any chance you could get him to talk to a professional about what's going on. It sounds like he really needs some psychiatric help.

He has just come out if this crisis house that is a step down from a mental hospital. It seems to have helped him a bit and get him to accept help. The girl is still floating around causing trouble though. when he went into the house he didn't want to have contact with anyone so he could focus on getting better.

We of course were happy to do that because we want him to get better but the girl just would not leave him alone. To the point I had to speak to her about it because it was upsetting my friend. The whole conversation she was more concerned about her being lonely (she has a boyfriend and numerous friends) and how much it will hurt her instead of thinking about M.

AngelRho
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06 Nov 2016, 7:29 am

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

Sabreclaw wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

And @yournameishere the end game is what worries me, what if he succeeds next time

Then you'll no longer have anything to worry about.

That's really cold and harsh

Generally I avoid depressed/negative people for that very reason. I don't want to get sucked down the vortex.

However, that doesn't make their lives less valuable, and that's why there are strong people out there who can resist their pull, keep themselves apart from the self-destruction, and even pull those people from the brink. I don't have that strength and admire those who do.

The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Nov 2016, 6:24 am

Don't be surprised if her bf knows and are actually partners in this as fraud business.

The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Nov 2016, 6:28 am

They should create a website for men SheIsAGoldDigger.com that allows men to warn other men of such women in the same fashion of DontDateHimGirl.com.

Because, really...this is the most common threat men face in dating.

Alliekit
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07 Nov 2016, 11:52 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

But she wants his attention not his money so it would have to encompass more than golddiggers

The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Nov 2016, 12:02 pm

Alliekit wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

But she wants his attention not his money so it would have to encompass more than golddiggers

Gift-diggers are a sub-species of gold-diggers.

Besides, cheaters aren't any better.

Come on, don't be so naive - it is for the expensive gifts.

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