No more energy.

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This is true only for people who had normal relationship experiences in their youth.

You can't really help who you feel attracted to though.

I understand statistics might show that---but statistics might not apply to you.

They certainly don't apply to me.

Well a lot of aspies can't get any female interest at all

Yeah... That's not my parents lol. They got married at 16 cuz my mom was pregnant. She never dated anyone else and he didn't ever have a serious relationship prior. Like just the general middle school"girlfriend" or two.

You may be right lidsmichelle. I still don't know myself well enough but I feel like I should have myself and precicely want I wanted from an early age.

Like my cousin. When he was 16 he said he wanted to be a mechanical engineer. Now he's 28 and he really enjoys his job as a mechanical engineer. He started dating his next door neighbor when he was 20 and now they've been happily married for two years. Even from an early age he always knew what he wanted, knew how to get it and he got it without a moment's doubt or hesititation. He never had to find himself because he never lost himself. That should have been me. I should have known what I was doing in the first place.

I'll date other girls. I might have a stable relationship when I'm in my 40s. I might be very happy in that relationship. But that's like being happy for half of my life. It's like if a really good movie is playing and you only get to see the second half of it (through cataracts). I might be happy with her in my 40s but I won't be happy in my 50s. Not her fault, it's just that I have a family history of arthritis (onset at about 50 years old). I want to get the most years of happiness before I'm struck down with arthritis. Single or not I won't be happy in my 70s. Family history of Alzheimer's. I won't know what's going on. The only thing worse than Alzheimer's is the heavy sedatives they put Alzheimer's patients on. That makes them even more senile than the disease alone. I could be married and not even know it. I want to get the most years of happiness before that happens. That's why I should have been like my cousin. Start at 20.

I might live to be 80. I might commence a stable relationship at 40. That's 20 years less than other people like my cousin. 40 years remaining. Of those 40 years, I might have 10 years without chronic joint pain and 30 years without senility. That's why I should have known who I was and what I was doing when I was younger. So I could have more years to do it in.

Its rare to find people who do, people like your cousin are rare. It's like how so many people don't even know what they want to do when they're in college until their bachelors. I understand where you're coming from, and I think most people wish they were like that too, but it's not really common.

There's also no guarantee your cousin and his wife will still be together in ten years or that if they stay together forever that they'll still feel compatible and fulfilled 5 or 10 years down the road.

I get what you're saying, I'd just hope that realizing that chances of finding love and a fulfilling relationship when you're 30+ isn't impossible.

>>But that's like being happy for half of my life. It's like if a really good movie is playing and you only get to see the >>second half of it (through cataracts).

Lots of Americans only watch the conclusions of major sporting events. For instance, tonight is game 7 of the World Series between the Cubs and Indians--lots of people missed the exciting stuff before this game.

RetroGamer87 is absolutely right (except the snagging pretty ones first part): You can't compensate the lost time.

From how your posts changed in the last few months, between the pressure of your job and all the other life demands and disappointments, I suspect you might be flirting with the autistic burnout. You surely seem emotionally exhausted/drained.

So what? Are you implying that he should be happy to never have a normal relationship and only get a few flings once in a blue moon?
You know, this is not a competition.

I'm glad someone agrees with me

Do you really think the pretty ones aren't taken first? I mean, the most attractgive young women might already have boyfriends or by married by the time I meet them, leaving the plainer ones for me. Surely the prettiest ones get asked out first, right?

The gender reversed version must also be true. The most handsome men would also be snatched up first, leaving the averager men for the rest of the ladies.

Are you talking about me or Boo?

I hope you're right. I know a few people like my cousin. People who get married in their twenties (I know one guy who got married at 19, he just celebrated his fifth anniversary).

The same with people who know which career they want while they're in middle school and then study exactly the right subjects in high school and start college immediately after high school and get a job in their chosen career immediately after college and then really enjoy the career their chose for themselves in middle school (like my cousin did).

I have to tell myself that people like that are rare. I have to tell myself that people who buy a house at 24 years old are rare. I have to tell myself these people are rare because there's a fair few like that around me and it's easy for me to think these people are average.

If these people are average that puts me below average. If these people are above average and I'm below them that means I'm not below average.

There are a lot of very intelligent people around me at Hewlett-Packard. Smarter than me. Many of them started working there immediately after they get their bachelor of software engineering (or during their bachelor for the ones who started as interns).

Being surrounded by so many outliers, I have to remind myself that they do not represent the average person. It seems that way because those people are the majority of my social interaction.

The average person at my work is way above me. That makes it seem like everyone is way above me. But if I was compared with a general segment of the population, I might not be below average. At least not anymore.

5 years ago I was underemployed and lived with my mother. Maybe at that time I was legitimately below average for a 24 year old. But not anymore, right?

I don't want to be below average. It makes me feel awful. I want to be like other people. For the last few years I've tried so hard to be like other people.

I see a lot of pretty women who are beyond 30 and single still.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 04 Nov 2016, 6:10 am, edited 2 times in total.

They must be waiting for a really special sort of guy