Still haven't found a girlfriend

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I didn't have my first serious relationship with a woman until I was 27 and in my career. Perhaps your also a late bloomer and need to give yourself more time to mature.

But Private Idaho, what about now, are you single, Married, do you have Kids. My dream is to find a GF, to do things with her, to start a family, to meet her family and for her to meet mine.

I don't know how and where to start though. How do i know i found the one. My Grandad says to me there is a girl out there for me but i just haven't found her yet, is that true.

I Just get so upset about it sometimes. I want my dad to stop treating me like a little Kid. I want to find a Partner who i can bring to meet my family, take out places, have a family and grow old.

So what? I'm 34 years old and it's only in the last month that I've really truly been dating someone. The last time I went on a few dates with someone was over a couple week period when I was 17. Sure, I've had more than my fair share of hookups in between.. but to be actually dating someone? This is new to me at 34. We're not officially a thing yet, but maybe.. but my point is I'm another 10 years older than you and just beginning. It's only in the last couple years after getting my ASD symptoms under control that I've even felt ready to do so, and then I've turned down a lot of offers waiting instead for someone I felt compatible with. Blah blah, you have plenty of time. I know people plenty older than me that haven't ever really dated anyone. Everyone's different. There's no set time anyone must do these things.

Like I said, focus on yourself. It takes years for someone to get out of shape via diet/lifestyle and years to get into shape. Fit healthy "attractive" people aren't simply born like that - they work hard at it every single day. ~6 years ago I was 242lbs with a 38" waist. Right now I'm 198.5lbs ~12.5%bf with a ~33" waist and stronger than ever. It's taken a lot of time and hard work. Diet, running, more than 60,000 pushups over the last year and a half.. but, bit by bit I'm fitter, healthier, happier, and more attractive to others. Every day that passes that you don't take decisive action towards a healthier future you is delaying what potential you have in the future for being fit, healthy, happy, and more attractive to others. That's not to say overweight people have zero chance at getting a date or relationship - it's simply a removable barrier.

Clearly you don't want to start a conversation like that. IMO, until you're confident and happy in your own skin, you're not ready to start that conversation, anyways. Focus on yourself for as long as it takes (the rest of your life, if necessary) and it'll all come together eventually. Maybe in a year, or two, or 5 - who knows - doesn't matter.. but what does matter is if you do as you've always done you'll get as you've always got, so, decide to change & then take action. Every. Single. Day. Then maybe someday you won't have anymore "single" days.

But Goldfish21, even when i lose some weight girls don't look at me so i just get sad and eat more. Even if i smile at girls out in the street i don't even get a smile back. And you said you've had a few hookups and people wanting you. I haven't even got that. Like i said i have not even had a selfi with a girl on her own, i haven't even held a girls hand. I didn't even get that prom experience

So channel that frustration into something creative that improves you instead of something destructive that only serves to destroy you further. Don't get sad, get mad, then use that anger to push yourself further, harder, longer. Go for a longer walk, then a longer run. Do 10 pushups, then 20, then 50 etc. Don't allow the way others treat you, or ignore you, to make yourself treat you as bad or worse. Treat yourself as well as you'd imagine you'd treat a partner. Think about that. REALLY think about. Personally, I am not a self serving person. I recognize this and turn that weakness into a strength. When I don't think I can endure something, or carry on any further with difficult work in horrible weather, I think about the ones I love and how even though I don't think I can do it for myself I CAN do it for them - and then I do. Sometimes when I'm not treating myself very well, I stop and think about how I would treat my closest friend or God kids, and then remind myself that I should treat myself just as well as I'd treat them - and then I do. Sometimes that means fuelling myself with the healthiest of foods, or doing exercise I need, or treating myself to some small luxury I may have otherwise denied myself.

It sounds cliche, and it is, but you won't find that anyone will love you until you love yourself. If you're out there on the streets putting out a fine self-loving happy vibe, you'll find that you'll get smiles right back. Until then, chances are you won't.

No sense in focusing on what you haven't done yet or may not do etc etc. Be present. Focus on Now. It's the only time we ever really have. Do the things Now that make you an ever more attractive and likeable person in the future. Then you'll begin to see the results you desire.

but if i do find a gf how to i start getting to know her, how do i even know if she is single and looking. How do i strike up a conversation. Girls might think i'm Pervy

1) Sounds like you're putting the cart before the horse here a little. ie It sounds like you have quite a ways to go before you feel attractive and confident, whether that's physically, mentally, or both &/or in other ways.. so focus on those things as they need to be achieved before you're likely going to get a date, let alone a gf. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to dramatically improve your physical fitness or wardrobe (but those things don't hurt) just that you have to believe you're confident and capable or you're gonna have a bad time, mmmmkay?

2) Live and learn. You might make mistakes or social blunders.. so what? Learn from them and try not to repeat them on the next opportunity.

Yeah, but think about what you're saying here. You're worried no other girl will even look at you. How many guys will even look at these girls with their major disabilities? If you want people to give you a chance, you must first give others a chance.

Of course, I don't know exactly how disabled these girls are, but still... Don't look at it as dating a disabled woman as a cheap, desperate way to get a gf. Look at it as just trying to do something nice for someone, which is all a real date is, anyway. Either you'll find someone nice within the disabled crowd or you'll get comfortable with the concept of dating. Abled people vs disabled people aren't really much different--they're all just "people."

As to having a bf, well, that never stopped me! I had flings with 3 girls already in relationships. 2 of those we both realized wasn't going in any kind of positive direction so we broke it off on good terms. The other I "stole" from a fraternity brother. We're married with 3 kids now. I'm not saying this is a good thing to do, I'm just saying don't rule it out in the right situation (bad relationships and they're going to break up anyway, for example. Just be cautious and remember someone else could always do the same thing to you).

As to looking like a perv, well...you can't really let that bother you. I'm well aware how I come across. You know what my day job is? Teaching high school kids. You're going to creep people out no matter what you do, so you just focus on letting people get to know you well enough they feel safe around you. I've had girls that I could trust who'd say things like "Don't do that in public, that's low-class," or "ok, you're being an idiot." The kids I teach don't necessarily like me, but they see me more as harmless teddy bear than a pedo creep because they've been around me long enough to understand my issues. The more you put yourself out there, the more girls will get used to you and get to know you. So when you ask someone to meet you for lunch, the less likely it will seem like an awkward "date-date" and the easier it will be to get one-on-one time with a MOOS. Whether you call it that or not is merely a matter of semantics, but a date is a date. Focus on that with as many girls as are available and you'll be in a relationship before you know what's happening.

The Girls at the drama i go to have down syndrome really bad, and one has a condition where she is still young in the head. I really get sad about it though, i really would love a partner i just don't know where to start.

The first thing you must do is lose weight, cure your acne, get a new hairstyle, get new clothes and maybe replace glasses with contacts. Your basic facial features are not bad so in that sense you are lucky, but you must fix these fixable defects to be physically attractive.

Here's some dude's photo I found from another subforum whose clothing looks pretty solid to give you an idea of a better style: http://i.imgur.com/IZjBRTf.jpg

But why do I have to Change. I want to find a Girlfriend who will love me for being me. I wouldn't expect my Future Girlfriend to have changed so why should I.

Plus my Stepbrother isn't exactly Thin and he has a really attractive Girlfriend

You're not getting the results you want now so people are pointing out the variables that are within your control to change that are likely to make you more attractive to others.

I'm not getting the results because i don't know how to get the results. I love myself, i just want to make my family happy, to find a partner to grow old with, to have adventures with. I just don't know how to start.

How do i know the girl i potentially chat to is single, it can't be as easy as going up to a stranger saying Hi, You look really nice, would you like a drink. I don't know how i would talk to girls.

How the hell does my stepbrother who i don't like find a girlfriend who is nice and attractive when he isn't. He has a disability where he can't walk very well but he still caught the eye of a nice Girl.

I'm 24 but i don't know what environment to put myself into. The majority of girls at my college are 16-20 so i'm out of luck there.

Right, you don't know how to get the results you want so you're asking for advice and others are giving it.. but then you're ignoring it. Not off to a great start here. We're not joking when we say that things like physical fitness, attractive clothing, and confidence go a long way in making a better first impression when trying to catch someone's eye. Those are things you can start with.

If you truly loved yourself you wouldn't be so self critical suggesting that people wouldn't even give you a look or a smile. You have some self-love to gain for sure.

You don't start with wedding bells. You start by focusing on yourself. Becoming a more attractive, happier, healthier, self loving you - then others will begin to see the good emanating out of you and want to engage you in conversation, perhaps meet you again at a later date and time.

Unless she's wearing a wedding ring or in the middle of kissing someone romantically, assume she's single. Heck, even if she's with a guy - it could be a coworker, friend, sibling etc and not a significant other. Just assume she's single until she indicates otherwise ie by saying "my boyfriend wouldn't like it if we went out for coffee" or w/e. Assuming girls are taken w/o knowing for sure is a guaranteed way to miss out on potential opportunities.

Starting a conversation doesn't have to be as direct as asking someone out on a date in your first breath. You could just start talking about some mutual interest you're both obviously at the same place for, or the weather, or ____ w/e and then one thing leads to another and you ask her to meet up with you again sometime. These conversations can be casual and fluid vs. direct and forced.

I'm guessing your brother isn't autistic?? That may be how he's able to navigate the social world better despite his physical disability. Further, perhaps he's found some nurturing type girl who was initially attracted to him because of his disability and that's what got her talking to him. Never know. Those people do exist.

Why would you be out of luck with a 20yo when you're 24? There's no rule that says you have to be exactly the same age as the person you date. Besides, you say majority are 16-20, that means some are older.

As for what environment you'd need to put yourself in.. I'd choose an environment *I* liked and wanted to be in and was happy in, then anyone you meet there is going to meet a happy version of yourself. Otherwise I'd choose an environment where the type of person I was most attracted to would be likely to be. If I wanted a student I might try meeting people at a coffee shop on campus. If I wanted a dancer I'd go dancing. If I wanted a cyclist I'd go cycling in a nice spot. If I wanted a swimmer I'd go for a swim. etc. Otherwise I'd just go the places I liked to go and do the things I like to do and then if I meet someone while I'm out being happy, great, if not - I've successfully just gone somewhere I wanted to go and just did something that made me happy.. still a total win even if I didn't meet another soul for so much as a simple "hello," to one another.

Hey, i am an older guy who understands a bit about girls and relationships.
Where i can see that you have some challenges when finding a gf, i don't think it is impossible.

There are some things within your control that you can change and somethings that are out of your control which you can do nothing about.

For example. You feel that your weight is an issue. I can understand that, as weight often goes against a man, although there are woman out there that like cuddly men as well as woman who also have similar problems who will make a compromise.

If you want to lose weight, you will need to go on a diet and start exercising. Losing weight will happen slowly as long as you keep it up. But you have to be single minded about this!

Once you lose weight, you will be more attractive than you are to a lot more women.
This won't mean that woman will fall at your feet, as women generally do not.
But if you learn to talk to woman as well, then you will have a good chance.

I, myself could do with losing a stone or so, so am going to go on a full on diet after xmas.
I will have to go on diet and be single minded. I am thinking even of giving up alcohol which is drastic for me
as i love a few drinks and going to the pub/clubs once a week.

I will have to cut out all the bad things in my diet as well, which include chocolate, crisps, bread, pizza, butter, cheese, sweets, cola etc.

I will have to replace all these things with healthy food, ideally well balanced with some carbs but high protein and loads and loads of water. Things like porridge, salads, soups, water would be ideal food stuff at least for a short time.

When dieting, good idea to weigh yourself once a week to see if you lose any weight. Perhaps every day if it helps you focus.

At the gym, i recommend both weights (strength) and cardio. You have to push yourself though, as the weight wont shift on its own. Do weights 2 or 3 times a week, giving yourself some time to recover between sessions.
Do cardio on the other days, as long as your not overworking the tendons attached to particular muscles.
After doing weights, important to eat protein after your workout (45 mins).

But you can read more about this as you go on. Dont worry about the people at the gym. Most people are ok at normal gyms. The people who arent nice, don't worry about. That's their problem.

As for your problem about having a small penis. Think most men apart from men who are abnormally big in this area worry about this. Apparently the normal range for western men is between 5 inches and 7 inches.
Men worry because nasty woman are mean about this, as well as men who use it to bully others.
Funny thing about the size of a persons penis is that people forget (especially woman) is that for normal hetrosexual penatrative vaginal sex, not only a penis is required but also a vagina. The stats say that most woman's vagina's are about 4 inches deep, which are to some extent elastic in nature and expand to to fit the size of the man's penis. funny thing is also the stats say that most woman do not achieve orgasm from penetrative sex but need other forms of stimulation such as oral/etc.

If a woman says that a man's penis is too small when talking about a man with a normal size penis (5 inch to 7 inch) then perhaps the problem is more to do with the size of the woman's vagina! lol...

(old Taoist proverb. Is my penis too small, or is it that your vagina is too big).

If your penis is 2 inches or smaller (clinically known as a micro penis), which is rare. Then you may suffer from klinefelter syndrome.

The way I look at the whole penis size thing is that the size of the penis needs to be matched with the size of the vagina (and the vagina owners desires) for both partners to find optimum pleasure. But pleasure is just a side effect of procreation, which God* probably designed it that way so as to make sure that procreation happened and that the human race kept on going. *(speculating that God does exist and that he did design us).

If your penis does happen to be a certain size, then you can always do a little research into the countries who have the most woman with small vagina's. Such as korea.
For such woman with small vagina's, what would be regarded as a small penis is the US or perhaps even some african countries who are known to have larger than normal genitals, such as a penis that is 5 inches or slightly smaller, would be considered at the least normal or even big. perhaps too big.

Also countries such as Korea, China, Thailand and the Philippines that have a high population of attractive woman with smaller than average vaginas also have a weakened economy to that of your own home country. Coming from a wealthy country does in fact make you more desirable that locals. As some woman are not only seeing you as a way to fulfil their sexual needs but also looking for someone who can provide for them a nice lifestyle.

In fact, in life, i believe that when it comes to finding a woman to marry or be with long term. Many woman look more at the long term stats than just the short term. The other things that woman can look at are how much money you earn, what type of job you have and your potential to earn more.

So, this is another factor.
A word of caution though. In my experience you should be careful what you wish for. As having a girlfriend or wife is a massive commitment which is very time consuming and expensive. Relationships especially for aspo's can be extremely stressful. As well as having no time for your self or your interests. Then their are arguments and having to do stuff that you dont want to do. Also having other people have a big say in the direction you take in life.

For some aspo's, this can be a real nightmare. especially for creative types such as myself. as creatives need to create as part of their identity. Having no time create, can make aspo's stressful lose touch with themselves.
Aspo's are also very prone to being manipulated and lied too. So you have to be careful as to who you get involved with.

On the plus, relationships can make you happier than ever and sex can be very enjoyable. But it isn't the be and end all. Just a primitive urge really. However, because this primitive urge is so strong and so universal,
their is a lot of pressure to conform and to be successful in this area. no big deal really if you are not.
There are plenty of other avenues or sources of pleasure in this world.

Lastly. from looking at your photo. You do not look ugly or disfigured (not that this always matters).
I imagine that you will look really good if you lost weight.

I would also recommend that you research clothing and consider having a make over.
As this would enhance your appearance and make you more attractive.
Take a look at what people from the movies you like wear and consider changing your style (although normal movies. probably wouldn't start wearing star trek uniforms where ever you go although some geek girls may love it if you do)...

I am sure with some work you will get their in the end.
With regards to long term girl friends. I think that you probably best look for them in areas that you enjoy.
As then you will also have a lot in common too.

Anyway
good luck
cheers