Why am I a "creeper" for trying to meet young women?

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That sounds scary :O If I do that there's still a 3% or 4% chance of commencing a relationship. I'm getting older and I can't afford to spend a year of a 3% or 4% chance. Also I work full time and I have little energy remaining so I'm not able to have ten different hobbies going at once.

Also, when I befriend women and ask them to meet me for lunch, they think that we're meeting just as friends.

And this here is another reason why the women on that ask site reacted badly. Everyone will just assume a guy is there for the girls.

And men won't go, even though it's good exercise, for that reason. Also they think it's kinda sissy and would prefer to go to Metafit.

I've never actually seen any men at the yoga/pilates type classes I go to (lol went to, I've not been going for a while)

I went once to a Pilates class because a girl literally dragged me to it.

I didn't have any idea what Pilates was before finding out to be a yoga thing - I was wearing shorts, and all these leg stretching moves....felt too exposing for my male parts. Never Again.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 23 Dec 2016, 5:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Depends on the women. My female friends get so little male interest or friendship that they would assume it was a date. But then, I don't think they are interacting with men, going to classes and such. We've got a little bubble of female friends, so we never meet any men because we all hang out together.

You don't need 10 hobbies, you need one that you really love and then you see what happens. Although it will need to have some sort of social element.

Sorry, there is no easy route. There is no get rich quick scheme for the real thing.

No, they know what you are after, they aren't that stupid.

But they would pretend "oh but I thought it was just a friends thing" if they don't like you.

In my case they would assume correctly. I just didn't realise it was immoral to go to a place for meeting girls because I know I can't meet girls if I stay home by myself all the time.

People tell me that if I want to meet girls I need to "go out and mix with them" but when I do that it becomes somehow immoral. Another Catch-22.I don't want to go to Metafit, there's no girls there.

I thought about dancing since girls need a male partner (often in short supply) but I'm having trouble finding a dance class that's not for over-60s. Are there no ballroom dancing classes for young adults?

Wasn't Pilates the guy who killed Jesus?

And I recall I was the only male attendant there - despite the instructor is male (and a friend of mine actually) - but I did feel I was stepping in a women-only safe place; so that wasn't encouraging either.

It's not immoral. It's just that yoga - the stretchy leggings, stick your butt in the air, let everyone see your crotch while you stretch class - that's not appropriate for meeting girls. Try anything else. It is ok to be open to meeting members of the sex you are attracted to whilst doing activities.



That would have been a great idea. Shame there's no young people doing classes. Personally, I think that a man who can dance is actually a bit of a winner. Even if there's no women your age at the classes, if you do meet someone elsewhere and she finds out you can dance, that's kinda cool. Most people these days can't dance. That's a talent.

Ok time zone difference. It's getting late here. I'm offski.

Retro: My working dating theory depends on building friendships, especially with MOOS. I gave an overview of my current relationship on another thread. She was my former frat brother's gf. Then she was one of my fiancée's bridesmaids. We became friends, then "special" friends/FWB, an official couple, then we broke up. We stayed friends, got involved with other people, went back to being special friends, officially got back together, did the LDR thing for two years and SUCKED at it, got back together, got married and made babies.

Being friends is and always was the cornerstone of our life together, and I think that being rock-solid as we are is due to that aspect of our relationship. You could do worse than cultivate romance with friends.

As far as I'm concerned, the friendzone is entirely imaginary. And I do look at dating as a numbers game. The more available women you have to ask, the more likely you are to get AT LEAST ONE date. It's like a Gaussian distribution. The more times you get rejections, the closer getting a date becomes a near certainty. And that's without doing anything at all to enhance your odds.

You enhance your odds by exploiting human selfishness and putting it to work for you--based on your post, you already know this and are reaping at least some benefit from it.

The thing is, men and women are just attracted to each other. It's just in our biology. If you spend time with a lot of datable women, you will find yourself attracted to more than one of them. Very likely more than one of those will be attracted to you. Friend or not, it always happens eventually. Play that numbers game and you WILL end up in a relationship. The trick is to not focus on one single woman, but rather be open to whoever is attracted to you.

Outrider mentioned once that "friends first" is inefficient. I agree. That's just the price you pay when dealing with human beings and their feelings. You can't put a timetable on relationships. So if you want some system that gets you there quick, it doesn't exist. You can tweak your appearance and personality, only hang out with certain types, and other things to be more attractive, say all the right words at the right time to improve your odds, but there's never any kind of guarantee.

When dealing with human beings, forget about being efficient. Be patient. And rather focus on EFFECTIVENESS. Does it WORK? Does it do the job? I'll take GETTING a quality gf in a year or two over taking shortcuts and getting sloppy (and still taking a long time without success) any day.

Pontius Pilate was the Roman administrator who killed Jesus. I think he was a Governor of Judea or something.

I wish you could go into the Jewish Chatroom, RetroGamer. I once met a really sexy woman who was into economics and business; in fact, she was an instructor for people who were taking various exams in stocks and securities. I slept with her once; afterwards, we discussed various economic topics.

Later, she became a lounge singer.

There's a Jewish chatroom?

I know all three of them personally. Two are from work and the other is my uncle. I don't know millions of people.

In the 1990s, they had one sponsored by American Online (which is now AOL).

It was really a great chatroom. I met quite a few nice people there.

I think what was meant is if you have no interest in yoga, it probably isn't the best idea to join a yoga class to 'get a girlfriend' any interested women might feel kind of let down if they think they've found a guy who shares their interest in yoga that they could maybe date only later to find they care nothing for it and just figured there'd be women there. Perhaps it would be best to find an activity you are interested in where you could also potentially meet females, then you won't have to fake interest in the activity but could meet someone who shares a common interest with you.

It would be disrespectful to go to yoga if you just want to go through the motions to look like someone into yoga hoping to attract a mate.