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hurtloam
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28 Jan 2017, 7:29 pm

I'm intrigued that no one has given an explanation for why he takes it so personally when his hobby is rejected (I know it's not really rejected, it's just how he feels)

League_Girl said something in another thread about how when she was younger she felt like that about things. Like how it felt like a personal attack when someone didn't like something she liked.

Has anyone else had that kind of experience?



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Jan 2017, 7:36 pm

Alliekit wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Just wear his favorite craft, it won't bite you.

If this will be a ground of break up, I am gonna slap both of you. :evil: :twisted:


You moan about girls trying to change guys all the time yet you are asking her to do something she isn't comfortable doing. She has already stated that she tries to wear it.


When did I 'moan' about girls trying to change guys? I would do wear a ring or something if it means that much to my SO, especially if it's a relationship of 10+ years like hers.

Alliekit, can you stop doing this? Using verbs like 'you moan', 'you whine'....bla bla to me?

Show respect, young one, I am 12 years older than you.


if only age and wisdom correlated. One of my flaws is just being blunt i guess

She has already said she makes the effort and surely in a long relationship he should make an effort for her aswell.

Also I will show you respect when you respect others

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I recall that the thread you are showing was in a totally different context, it was about people giving such ultimatums such as these for merely accepting a date, and I don't think things got reached the ultimatum level in the OP's case.

The OP's relationship is a decade old, this is totally different.

So yeah, Alliekit, your age totally correlates with your wisdom level, it's not high.



Alliekit
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28 Jan 2017, 7:46 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Just wear his favorite craft, it won't bite you.

If this will be a ground of break up, I am gonna slap both of you. :evil: :twisted:


You moan about girls trying to change guys all the time yet you are asking her to do something she isn't comfortable doing. She has already stated that she tries to wear it.


When did I 'moan' about girls trying to change guys? I would do wear a ring or something if it means that much to my SO, especially if it's a relationship of 10+ years like hers.

Alliekit, can you stop doing this? Using verbs like 'you moan', 'you whine'....bla bla to me?

Show respect, young one, I am 12 years older than you.


if only age and wisdom correlated. One of my flaws is just being blunt i guess

She has already said she makes the effort and surely in a long relationship he should make an effort for her aswell.

Also I will show you respect when you respect others

Image

Image

Image



I recall that the thread you are showing was in a totally different context, it was about people giving such ultimatums such as these for merely accepting a date, and I don't think things got reached the ultimatum level in the OP's case.

The OP's relationship is a decade old, this is totally different.

So yeah, Alliekit, your age totally correlates with your wisdom level, it's not high.


Yeah sure whatever you say hun :wink: . As long as it fits with your narrative, how dare she be uncomfortable wearing jewelry shame on her. Well how dare a man not want to change his hair because it makes him uncomfortable shame on him :roll:

Also that post didn't mention ultimatums it was a guy asking why women like different styles and how he didn't want to change his hair to attract more girls.

Besides what you said was random no one was even talking about breaking up.



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Jan 2017, 7:49 pm

And also changing one's entire looks, shaving and....etc is by far more hassle and personal (physically wise) than wearing a piece of jewelry, unless it weights a lot.

And that jewelry is related to his passion, let's not forget that.



hurtloam
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28 Jan 2017, 7:51 pm

Please trim your quote trees people.

We're kind of going off topic here and I don't think that's fair to the OP. But that's just my opinion.



Alliekit
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28 Jan 2017, 7:53 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And also changing one's entire looks, shaving and....etc is by far more hassle and personal (physically wise) than wearing a piece of jewelry, unless it weights a lot.

And that jewelry is related to his passion, let's not forget that.


It's like your not even paying attention

She already does that

She just doesn't want to wear it all the time and only ever receive jewelry.

It's not like she is asking for much.



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Jan 2017, 8:04 pm

Alliekit wrote:

Quote:
Yeah sure whatever you say hun :wink: . As long as it fits with your narrative, how dare she be uncomfortable wearing jewelry shame on her. Well how dare a man not want to change his hair because it makes him uncomfortable shame on him :roll:

Also that post didn't mention ultimatums it was a guy asking why women like different styles and how he didn't want to change his hair to attract more girls.




My post in there was about how to deal with annoying people (almost strangers or mere acquaintances) who don't mind their own business and tell others how they should look instead for them to be accepted.

That's totally not the OP's thread.

And I am not your hun, jeez....I don't appreciate your cocky 'flirting'.



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Jan 2017, 8:12 pm

Alliekit wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And also changing one's entire looks, shaving and....etc is by far more hassle and personal (physically wise) than wearing a piece of jewelry, unless it weights a lot.

And that jewelry is related to his passion, let's not forget that.


It's like your not even paying attention

She already does that

She just doesn't want to wear it all the time and only ever receive jewelry.

It's not like she is asking for much.


Fine, I missed one of her posts (it was a line in the small post in a middle of a paragraph, I had to re-read every line of all her posts to find it).

You could pointed that from the. beginning.

Now what?



Alliekit
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28 Jan 2017, 8:19 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And also changing one's entire looks, shaving and....etc is by far more hassle and personal (physically wise) than wearing a piece of jewelry, unless it weights a lot.

And that jewelry is related to his passion, let's not forget that.


It's like your not even paying attention

She already does that

She just doesn't want to wear it all the time and only ever receive jewelry.

It's not like she is asking for much.


Fine, I missed one of her posts (it was a line in the small post in a middle of a paragraph, I had to re-read every line of all her posts to find it).

You could pointed that from the. beginning.

Now what?


I literally said that in my first response to you!



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Jan 2017, 8:25 pm

By "she tries to wear it" can be well interpreted that she tries to wear it but couldn't, and never wears it again. Not the same meaning as wearing it sometimes. Not reading her saying she wears it sometimes caused this confusion.

Back to topic.



Luhluhluh
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28 Jan 2017, 11:40 pm

Thanks for everyone who replied.

I wish he made more earrings because I don't mind those, as long as they're the little studs or drop earrings because they stay out of my hair and don't get caught in everything. But he likes to make these big necklaces mostly and when you're - AHEM - big-chested (sorry) it can be very uncomfortable to wear the large beads that hang down right over the girls.

And bracelets are another matter entirely - I just don't like the way they feel. I never have. That sensation of something hanging off my wrist, jangling around while I'm trying to work, or write or whatever.

And Hurtloam mentioned rejecting his hobby, and I can see where he feels that probably because that's come up before. He's very into his telescope and he takes these fantastic photos of star clusters and planets and he bought me a telescope too - but I'm just not into it - it's not my thing, and he was somewhat hurt when I told him it's not my hobby, it's his, and we don't HAVE to like the exact same things. We have things we do together and we have things we do apart - and THAT'S OKAY because it's NORMAL.

Maybe I should ask him to make more earrings instead of necklaces or bracelets. That would solve the problem.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Jan 2017, 3:42 am

^ Do the "things" you do togother include hobbies you both like?



TheSpectrum
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29 Jan 2017, 7:33 am

Hang them up somewhere.


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Alliekit
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29 Jan 2017, 8:06 am

Luhluhluh wrote:
Thanks for everyone who replied.

I wish he made more earrings because I don't mind those, as long as they're the little studs or drop earrings because they stay out of my hair and don't get caught in everything. But he likes to make these big necklaces mostly and when you're - AHEM - big-chested (sorry) it can be very uncomfortable to wear the large beads that hang down right over the girls.

And bracelets are another matter entirely - I just don't like the way they feel. I never have. That sensation of something hanging off my wrist, jangling around while I'm trying to work, or write or whatever.

And Hurtloam mentioned rejecting his hobby, and I can see where he feels that probably because that's come up before. He's very into his telescope and he takes these fantastic photos of star clusters and planets and he bought me a telescope too - but I'm just not into it - it's not my thing, and he was somewhat hurt when I told him it's not my hobby, it's his, and we don't HAVE to like the exact same things. We have things we do together and we have things we do apart - and THAT'S OKAY because it's NORMAL.

Maybe I should ask him to make more earrings instead of necklaces or bracelets. That would solve the problem.



Maybe you could approach it from a different angle and ask for more variety rather than for him to stop.

Maybe instead explain to him that getting the same thing all the time no longer makes it special and that you want something he puts so much love into to be special.

Like how if you eat pizza all the time you become sick of it but if you have it rarely it's awesome.



Luhluhluh
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29 Jan 2017, 9:27 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Do the "things" you do togother include hobbies you both like?


Sure there are activities we do together. We belong to an atheist/skeptic group and go to regular outings where we play trivia, Cards Against Humanity, etc., we see movies together, we travel together - I even planned our last trip so that it could include his telescope time in a very dark spot of the country AND I did go with him to that.


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29 Jan 2017, 9:30 am

Luhluhluh wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Do the "things" you do togother include hobbies you both like?


Sure there are activities we do together. We belong to an atheist/skeptic group and go to regular outings where we play trivia, Cards Against Humanity, etc., we see movies together, we travel together - I even planned our last trip so that it could include his telescope time in a very dark spot of the country AND I did go with him to that.


Bit off topic but have you played exploding kittens?