Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Becoming More Attractive?

Page 2 of 2 [ 20 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

Tobes
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 6 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 230
Location: Australia

06 Feb 2017, 6:07 pm

ThisAdamGuy wrote:
Let's say that you want to have a romantic relationship, but you know that who you are, whether it's your personality or your lifestyle, is unattractive. At the same time, you're happy being who you are and have no desire to change. Should you still go out of your way to become someone other people will find attractive in the hopes of finding someone who will love you, even if it means less day-to-day happiness for you?


Firstly, what parts of your personality or lifestyle do you know are unattractive and in what ways?



ShadowProphet
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 12 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 291

07 Feb 2017, 10:35 pm

It's good in some aspects to change your lifestyle up, to increase not only your attractiveness but also your success in the real world. For instance, let's just say you're a giant slob who never cleans his room and doesn't even have a job. Do you think any woman will want to date a guy like that? Probably not... So in that case, it's good to improve yourself.


I think the trick is to become a better version of yourself without changing your core values of who you are. For instance, if you're a shy and socially awkward slob who still lives with his mom and dad, then it's good to improve upon your life situation. But if you HATE parties, and HATE pop music or whatever, you don't have to change that.


Also it's good sometimes to get out of your comfort zone because this is how we grow as a person. Someone who always plays it safe and lives in their own comfort without wanting to change their life, never does anything, and therefore never grows or becomes more successful. So challenge yourself a bit, try new things in life, vary your life up.



Surf Rider
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 1 Feb 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 97
Location: California

08 Feb 2017, 2:16 am

ThisAdamGuy wrote:
This came up in another thread I posted, but I don't want to hijack that discussion, so here we are! Let's say that you want to have a romantic relationship, but you know that who you are, whether it's your personality or your lifestyle, is unattractive. At the same time, you're happy being who you are and have no desire to change. Should you still go out of your way to become someone other people will find attractive in the hopes of finding someone who will love you, even if it means less day-to-day happiness for you?


It depends on whether or not you're happy with the results you're getting in your life. If what you have is different from what you want, you need to change what you're doing.

I used to think I was unattractive, but it turned out that my attractiveness wasn't my biggest problem. Lacking relationship skills was my biggest problem, and also being attracted to women who were bad partners.

You can enhance yourself without changing yourself fundamentally. Lift weights to build some muscle and move up in your career. I gotta be totally upfront with you: if you're working customer service at Walmart, not too many popular attractive women are going to be into that. You'll have to improve your career if you want to attract more women.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 107 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 122 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,122
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

08 Feb 2017, 3:53 am

Surf Rider wrote:
ThisAdamGuy wrote:
This came up in another thread I posted, but I don't want to hijack that discussion, so here we are! Let's say that you want to have a romantic relationship, but you know that who you are, whether it's your personality or your lifestyle, is unattractive. At the same time, you're happy being who you are and have no desire to change. Should you still go out of your way to become someone other people will find attractive in the hopes of finding someone who will love you, even if it means less day-to-day happiness for you?


It depends on whether or not you're happy with the results you're getting in your life. If what you have is different from what you want, you need to change what you're doing.

I used to think I was unattractive, but it turned out that my attractiveness wasn't my biggest problem. Lacking relationship skills was my biggest problem, and also being attracted to women who were bad partners.

You can enhance yourself without changing yourself fundamentally. Lift weights to build some muscle and move up in your career. I gotta be totally upfront with you: if you're working customer service at Walmart, not too many popular attractive women are going to be into that. You'll have to improve your career if you want to attract more women.


^ Listen to the wise. This guy is realistic.