Was this a stupid thing of him to do?

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Sweetleaf
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06 Feb 2017, 8:55 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
It was a dumb thing to do, and could have gotten your friend beaten up if the guy was present and drunk

If the guy was sober, he might have just laughed it off.

Remember: this is a bar setting, and people are on edge there.

And if your friend knew that the girl was in a relationship, he (Aspie or no Aspie) should have known not to say this to her at all (unless they are actually good friends).



My friend had not see the girl since August 2014. So last Saturday was the first time he saw her in 3 years


Then yes it was stupid, she is in a relationship...what did he think it was going to accomplish? Did he think she'd just throw away her relationship and jump into his arms and say 'I'm yours, to hell with him.' if anything it makes him look like kind of a sleaze bag trying to pursue other guys girlfriends.




In his defence he has been thinking about her for 3 years (missing her a lot) and when he saw her for the first time in so long he got very emotional.


From the sound of it he has been doing more than thinking about her for 3 years if he's frequented the park she goes to and walking around near her house. He should probably move on for the sake of his mental health, and before he ends up getting hurt or hurting someone else like her or her boyfriend.


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Jamesy
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06 Feb 2017, 9:15 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
It was a dumb thing to do, and could have gotten your friend beaten up if the guy was present and drunk

If the guy was sober, he might have just laughed it off.

Remember: this is a bar setting, and people are on edge there.

And if your friend knew that the girl was in a relationship, he (Aspie or no Aspie) should have known not to say this to her at all (unless they are actually good friends).



My friend had not see the girl since August 2014. So last Saturday was the first time he saw her in 3 years


Then yes it was stupid, she is in a relationship...what did he think it was going to accomplish? Did he think she'd just throw away her relationship and jump into his arms and say 'I'm yours, to hell with him.' if anything it makes him look like kind of a sleaze bag trying to pursue other guys girlfriends.




In his defence he has been thinking about her for 3 years (missing her a lot) and when he saw her for the first time in so long he got very emotional.


From the sound of it he has been doing more than thinking about her for 3 years if he's frequented the park she goes to and walking around near her house. He should probably move on for the sake of his mental health, and before he ends up getting hurt or hurting someone else like her or her boyfriend.




The boyfriends mom used to be my friends learning support assistant in school 11 years ago



blackicmenace
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06 Feb 2017, 9:35 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
It was a dumb thing to do, and could have gotten your friend beaten up if the guy was present and drunk

If the guy was sober, he might have just laughed it off.

Remember: this is a bar setting, and people are on edge there.

And if your friend knew that the girl was in a relationship, he (Aspie or no Aspie) should have known not to say this to her at all (unless they are actually good friends).



My friend had not see the girl since August 2014. So last Saturday was the first time he saw her in 3 years


Then yes it was stupid, she is in a relationship...what did he think it was going to accomplish? Did he think she'd just throw away her relationship and jump into his arms and say 'I'm yours, to hell with him.' if anything it makes him look like kind of a sleaze bag trying to pursue other guys girlfriends.




In his defence he has been thinking about her for 3 years (missing her a lot) and when he saw her (up close in person) for the first time in so long he got very emotional.


He should have kept it to himself, it's not like she was available to consider his feelings. It was reckless to put her on the spot like that, if he cares he should have considered the precarious position he could have put her in.


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Last edited by blackicmenace on 06 Feb 2017, 9:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf
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06 Feb 2017, 9:36 pm

Jamesy wrote:


The boyfriends mom used to be my friends learning support assistant in school 11 years ago


Not really sure what that changes or exactly has to do with it, he still should back off of her.


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kraftiekortie
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07 Feb 2017, 6:37 am

I don't think he's a creep, either. All I said is that's he has to be smart about the whole thing.

He can get in trouble--legally or otherwise--for doing the things he does.



Sweetleaf
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07 Feb 2017, 1:19 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't think he's a creep, either. All I said is that's he has to be smart about the whole thing.

He can get in trouble--legally or otherwise--for doing the things he does.


Well he is on his way to turning into a creep if he doesn't stop it....I would say at this stage there certainly is hope, but he has to move on from this woman.


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Jamesy
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07 Feb 2017, 2:00 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't think he's a creep, either. All I said is that's he has to be smart about the whole thing.

He can get in trouble--legally or otherwise--for doing the things he does.


Well he is on his way to turning into a creep if he doesn't stop it....I would say at this stage there certainly is hope, but he has to move on from this woman.




Moving on is easier said than done especially when you have aspergers :roll:



Sweetleaf
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07 Feb 2017, 2:16 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't think he's a creep, either. All I said is that's he has to be smart about the whole thing.

He can get in trouble--legally or otherwise--for doing the things he does.


Well he is on his way to turning into a creep if he doesn't stop it....I would say at this stage there certainly is hope, but he has to move on from this woman.




Moving on is easier said than done especially when you have aspergers :roll:

Yes that is true, and also hard if you've become attached to someone, hard but not impossible. I certainly would not encourage further pursuits of her if he asks your advice.


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