I need your help because I'm not good at the female languag.

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Barchan
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01 Mar 2017, 10:33 pm

Campin_Cat wrote:

bossily tell members that have been here for YEARS, what the rules of this site, are; arrogantly call another member a misogynist;

She's done nothing wrong. Implying that women are "the more shallow sex" is misogyny; personal attacks are against the rules; the fact that the users in question have been here for years doesn't change that. On the latter point I can definitely sympathize, as the noxious aroma of misogyny has wafted into my nostrils the few times I've ventured into L&D. Had I been in her position I don't doubt I would have said the same thing.

Also while we're on the topic of misogyny, "bossy" is a sexist dogwhistle.

Campin_Cat wrote:

and NOW, you've managed to be terribly insulting to a member from JAPAN by telling him that "5'10" isn't that tall", and I'm thinking it IS, for a male in Japan!!

Palmtoka doesn't need you to speak for him. Nobody likes a white knight.

Chronos
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01 Mar 2017, 10:47 pm

Campin_Cat wrote:

MushroomPrincess wrote:

I don't think she meant anything by it. 5'10" isn't that tall, and women don't usually go out of their way to catch the attention of male strangers.

My GOODNESS!! You've been here a whole three days, and you've managed to get yourself reported, more-than-once; bossily tell members that have been here for YEARS, what the rules of this site, are; arrogantly call another member a misogynist; and NOW, you've managed to be terribly insulting to a member from JAPAN by telling him that "5'10" isn't that tall", and I'm thinking it IS, for a male in Japan!! Are you this much fun, in person?

Did the OP feel terribly insulted by it or is that how you would feel if you were the OP?

My impression is that MushroomPrincess was trying to reassure the OP and trying to make him feel better. Also, I was following the thread that MushroomPrincess reminded posters of the forum rules. Things were starting to get out of hand and she reminded people that personal attacks were against forum rules. How can anyone be out of line for that?

Chronos
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01 Mar 2017, 10:52 pm

palmtoka wrote:

Hi all, I have a question for you.
.
I was running into a group of three girls one day and saw them getting onto an elevator.
I was going to get on as well and realized I didn't take a shower that day, so I waited for them to go, then I took another elevator to eventually bump into them on the same floor.
I was going to get a sheet of paper and as I walked by them, one of them abruptly said 'stupidly high'.
At first, I didn't understand what she meant. It could mean either that she took me as stuck up or that the price of something that she was looking at actually was, or that I'm quite tall (around 5'10).

I'm asking for your help because I'm self-conscious and I find on the internet that female would do that to attract the attention of male, specifically that of male that they seem to like a lot.
Now that I think back, I'm still very confused what she likely implied with what she said.
I sensed their looking at me as I walked by them when I was leaving the place.

Is it just a small conversation they were having or would she be likely interested in me? What do you think?

I agree with those who are saying it sounds like you just caught part of a conversation that didn't involve you.

palmtoka
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01 Mar 2017, 11:10 pm

Chronos wrote:

palmtoka wrote:

I agree with those who are saying it sounds like you just caught part of a conversation that didn't involve you.

Very likely, yeah. Thank you.

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palmtoka
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01 Mar 2017, 11:19 pm

Campin_Cat wrote:

MushroomPrincess wrote:

I don't think she meant anything by it. 5'10" isn't that tall, and women don't usually go out of their way to catch the attention of male strangers.

you've managed to be terribly insulting to a member from JAPAN by telling him that "5'10" isn't that tall", and I'm thinking it IS, for a male in Japan!!

I think that 5'10'' for a Japanese male would be regarded as 'tall', I don't feel insulted by MP telling me what she did nonetheless.
Still, thank you for standing up for me.

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jrjones9933
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01 Mar 2017, 11:22 pm

The implicit value judgment regarding height interests me. I stand a little over 6 feet. 5 10 is average height in the US. I felt inefficiently tall in the Netherlands, and I expect to feel the same way in Japan. The Nederlanders are, incidentally, the tallest nation in Europe; apparently, they just like low ceilings and steep staircases.

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MushroomPrincess
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01 Mar 2017, 11:39 pm

Chronos wrote:

My impression is that MushroomPrincess was trying to reassure the OP and trying to make him feel better.

I was trying to be reassuring to Palmtoka, but also I was trying to reassure myself. I'm 5'10" and really self-conscious about being "too tall"

I didn't mean any offense.

nick007
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01 Mar 2017, 11:40 pm

Maybe they thought you were on something because of your mannerisms. Maybe they thought that waiting for a 2nd elevator instead of getting on with them was something someone on something would do. Or more likely they were talking about something completely unrelated to you & you just caught a small piece out of context.

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palmtoka
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01 Mar 2017, 11:51 pm

nick007 wrote:

I turned my back to them as the elevator opened partly because I'm shy in front of a group of girls in general.
I did that to show them that I was not going to get on with them and wait for another elevator.
As for my mannerisms, that might have made them feel bad.

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palmtoka
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02 Mar 2017, 12:06 am

MushroomPrincess wrote:

Chronos wrote:

My impression is that MushroomPrincess was trying to reassure the OP and trying to make him feel better.

I was trying to be reassuring to Palmtoka, but also I was trying to reassure myself. I'm 5'10" and really self-conscious about being "too tall"

I didn't mean any offense.

I would feel the same way if I were in your shoes.
Even I catch eyes of people more when I'm out in the city, to the degree it sometimes makes me unpleasant.
I feel that the Japanese culture has special hidden values for women shorter than five feet in height.

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jrjones9933
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02 Mar 2017, 12:48 am

I mostly pick up on Japanese cultural values through entertainment, but I immediately thought of Yuno from Hidamari Sketch and Konata from Lucky Star as just two among many of the leading characters who are also the shortest in the cast of the show.

Apparently, my height has had much more of an effect on people than I ever noticed. I only notice it, myself, when I'm at a concert and can see the band more easily than my companions. Once I became aware that my height sometimes intimidates people, I started playing with it a little. It does make a difference if I position myself so that my head is lower than a shorter person, sometimes. Other times, they remain as oblivious as I usually do.

That's what I mean about the implied value judgment regarding height. I don't feel any more prepared than average to do anything more with my height than retrieve things off of high shelves. I gather that I should be better at fighting, or something? I can't see why else people should feel intimidated by my size. Do call if you need me to reach something.

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palmtoka
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02 Mar 2017, 1:45 am

jrjones9933 wrote:

Now that I look back, I have seen people who are short in height tend to be quite aggressive.
Maybe I'm seeing them as less of a danger for their height and thus more submissive, which may not always be true.

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Campin_Cat
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02 Mar 2017, 4:30 pm

Barchan wrote:

Campin_Cat wrote:

bossily tell members that have been here for YEARS, what the rules of this site, are; arrogantly call another member a misogynist;

Campin_Cat wrote:

and NOW, you've managed to be terribly insulting to a member from JAPAN by telling him that "5'10" isn't that tall", and I'm thinking it IS, for a male in Japan!!

Palmtoka doesn't need you to speak for him. Nobody likes a white knight.

LOLOLOL And what you're doing, is..... NOT being "a white knight"?

Your posts are always the same.

TOO funny!! LOLOLOL

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Campin_Cat
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02 Mar 2017, 4:31 pm

Chronos and Campin_Cat wrote:

Campin_Cat wrote:

MushroomPrincess wrote:

I don't think she meant anything by it. 5'10" isn't that tall, and women don't usually go out of their way to catch the attention of male strangers.

Did the OP feel terribly insulted by it or is that how you would feel if you were the OP?

No, I don't care what others think / say about me----but, I'll come to almost ANYBODY'S defense if I think they're being / could be hurt.

My impression is that MushroomPrincess was trying to reassure the OP and trying to make him feel better.

Another way it could've been taken, though, is that she was being snotty when she said "5'10" isn't that tall", and that she was saying "get over yourself"----and, now that she's said she's ALSO 5'10", that makes it DOUBLY possible, IMO, that she could've been saying "Stop feeling sorry for yourself, I'm as tall and a woman; I'M the one you should be feeling sorry for"; but, since she has said she wasn't doing that, I can accept that it's possible that she didn't mean it, that way.

Also, I was following the thread that MushroomPrincess reminded posters of the forum rules. Things were starting to get out of hand and she reminded people that personal attacks were against forum rules. How can anyone be out of line for that?

Yes, I've been following that thread, as well (even though I haven't posted, I've been reading, everyday), and things were NOT "starting to get out of hand", IMO. IMO, the person she was speaking to, had every right to say what he did to the person who had come after him (attacked him), and that's why what she did was out-of-line. She doesn't know either of those people----she doesn't know their history with each other, in that forum----she doesn't know that the person who originally attacked, has the maturity of a 5-year-old.....

Here's the way *I* look at it..... IMO, posting on a forum is very similar to walking into a party (in-person), where you WERE invited, but you don't know anyone there. Would YOU, Chronos, walk into a room-full of STRANGERS, and tell any of them, to their face, that they were wrong----that the conversation to which you weren't privy to what had been said before, or the relationship between the people, was, somehow, "not proper"? IMO, that's exactly what MushroomPrincess did; and, IMO, she was wrong, for doing it.

Campin_Cat
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02 Mar 2017, 4:36 pm

palmtoka wrote:

Campin_Cat wrote:

MushroomPrincess wrote:

I don't think she meant anything by it. 5'10" isn't that tall, and women don't usually go out of their way to catch the attention of male strangers.

you've managed to be terribly insulting to a member from JAPAN by telling him that "5'10" isn't that tall", and I'm thinking it IS, for a male in Japan!!

I think that 5'10'' for a Japanese male would be regarded as 'tall', I don't feel insulted by MP telling me what she did nonetheless.
Still, thank you for standing up for me.

You're quite welcome!!

Don't you wish you had women fighting over you, in person!! LOL j/k (wink)

Also, I forgot to say that I didn't address the OP, because I didn't have anything further, to add----as I agree with those who said it's quite possible that what they were saying didn't have anything to do with you.

Don't worry, I, and, maybe, every ASDer, here, can relate to "awkward"----and then, you throw-in "too tall" (or, whatever), and that can make situations that much more "sticky". I'm "too tall", as well, at 5'11"; but, when I realized there were many more people who were envious of my height, or that I could help by reaching things on the top shelf, I stopped being self-conscious about it.

Keep your chin, up----thanks, for responding----take care,

Cat

MushroomPrincess
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02 Mar 2017, 5:07 pm

Campin_Cat wrote:

LOLOLOL And what you're doing, is..... NOT being "a white knight"?

The difference is that Barchan is defending me from an actual insult, not an imagined one.

Campin_Cat wrote:

[/quote]
There is more arrogance and anger in this post than there are in all 19 of my previous posts combined. :p

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