The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,095
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
09 Jun 2017, 12:36 pm
09 Jun 2017, 9:41 pm
SingingSaddenedSwan wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Chichikov wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Non of my very very very few conversations go anywhere though 
You're no different from anyone else using on-line dating then. The whole fad is winding down now anyway, people are turning away from on-line dating and going back to traditional "matchmaker" services, mainly because...well, like everything else, people have ruined it. Whenever an on-line service gets popular it is soon flooded with nothing but scammers and fraudsters and it slowly dies.
Except that I'm an inferior male who's not a real man.
Sly, this might sound crude but I think it's something you need to hear, why are you so lazy?
As I said in another thread, men are MADE into men, they don't grow into manhood as women grow into womanhood.
Sly, I'm sorry but I've seen you here with the same complaints for years.
Now imagine how far you could have come if instead of complaining you worked on yourself, weight-lifting, reading, learning, training. You would have already have become worthy of having a woman by now. What has complaining and moaning about it on an internet forum ever got you? Women aren't going to change for you, but you can change for women. This is the way that its always been, men must be made into manhood, but you haven't been made yet -- you don't want to, it's too hard, you keep choosing the lazy path of self-destruction.
It's not too late, throw away this form of yourself and begin self-improvement. You can start by weightlifting, as lifting weights goes a long way to improve a male's confidence.
Remember... "He who sows the wind shall reap the storm", inaction is your greatest foe.
You act like he's never tried. He has.
It's very possible he's trying hard but just comes here to vent.
I try very hard but that doesn't mean I don't complain online every now and again.
He's said in the past he's tried to lose weight but failed to, he graduated from university, his degree turned out to be useless but you can't say he never tried if he stuck through it and successfully earned a degree, he has a job.
It's a low paying, minimum wage job, but he still goes there every time he has to and works to the best of his abilities.
He use to own a car and he knows how to drive.
He tries messaging women online.
He's asked out co-workers before.
The only real thing he doesn't try enough is meeting real women in-person in hobby groups or through friends and family.
But either way, he tries a whole lot harder than many men who complain here about being single and lonely.
The problem when you have Aspergers is, a lot of women are out of your league.
It doesn't matter how hard you try, there are some things some Aspies will never be able to do or will always find difficult no matter how much therapy and medication.
There was a guy here called Ecomatt.
A young man who said he's been going to therapy for 7 years, had two degrees from university, a job, has travelled to other countries like Hong Kong and done humanitarian efforts, fit, well-dressed and groomed, had a lot of friends, most of them young women who were the environmental/hippy types, and he still couldn't get a girlfriend.
He said he asked out plenty of women online and real-life, tried speed dating, etc. and he only ended up getting a few dates from it.
The problem?
He was legally deaf and had communication issues.
You've got to understand plenty of N.T.'s in this world will judge someone negatively before they even get to know you.
The Ecomatt guy, no matter how much therapy or English lessons, still sounded like he was slow or dumb when he'd speak even though he was a very intelligent and polite young man.
We know he was average intelligence or smart, but random N.T.'s he meets won't know that.
Just by sounding like he does, plenty of N.T. women might think he has learning difficulties or something, decide they could never date a man like that, and write-him off straight away.
Quote:
You can start by weightlifting, as lifting weights goes a long way to improve a male's confidence.
Lol it's left me feeling worse off then I did before.
In fact the research shows body dissatisfaction and body image issues are higher in certain groups of people such as those very interested in health and fitness.
Almost 2 and a half years of lifting weights and I'm no closer to my goal than I was this time two years ago. The first two years I had a bad routine that didn't target my muscles well enough so that was a waste of time (and money).
Somehow I managed to gain 30lbs of mostly muscle anyway, but I broke my wrist 8 months ago, and lost about 15lbs putting me half back to where I started.
Over 2 months now of lifting with a much healthier diet, tracking calories religiously, incorporating as much mind-muscle connection as possible, and using a well-designed and proven beginner program, and it seems I've gained barely any muscle.
I actually gained more muscle in 2 months on my sh*tty training program that I made myself last year.
All Pro's Beginner Routine if you're wondering.
Anyway, people give the weighlifting advice like it's easy.
It's not. Natural bodybuilding is very challenging and requires a lot of hard work and dedication.
Sly already has a lot of trouble dealing with stress, his job leaves him very stressed and burned out as it is, if he adds weightlifting in it'll just make the problem worse.
Another thing you must understand is weightlifting is harder for those with mental health issues such as Aspergers, Anxiety Disorders, OCD, etc. because it can more easily become an unhealthy obsession that just leaves us feeling stressed when we don't get the results we were expecting despite what seemed to be good diet, training and rest.
Doesn't mean I don't still do it. I do, and I'm sure hoping I'll get some decent results in the next year, but I'm not holding my breath.
09 Jun 2017, 11:07 pm
Chichikov wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Whys it all my responsibility to do that. Why can't women elaborate on their answers.
Because she has 100 guys messaging her so doesn't need to make any effort.
sly279 wrote:
Sadly my life is dull and I have very few experiences, I've never been to a concert and currently have no friends. So all I have is tv shows, video games and politics to elaborate on.
That was just an example, it doesn't have to be an anecdote about going places with people, the point of the matter is that you should find a way to elaborate to turn your answers into something more, it should segue onto something that tells her a bit more about you beyond the literal answer to the actual question. It also gives her more things to work off if she is interested in you. If you're talking about TV and she likes Game of Thrones you could say you liked that too (if you do), maybe say who your favourite character is and why, or what your favourite story arc is while trying to relate that to your own life somehow (nothing negative or tragic though), maybe go on to mention another show that she might like if she likes that kind of nonsense and explain why she might like it, point out the similarities or try to "sell" that show in a clever\funny way. These things are all possible seeds for other branches of conversation, where basic question and answer can't really go anywhere.
This stuff does take practice and not everyone is going to be receptive to it, many girls are going to stop communicating after one, maybe two messages regardless of what you write so don't write essays straight away, try smaller elaborations and if she is responsive to that and does it in kind then you can make your elaborations gradually longer. If she sticks to one word answers or doesn't really reciprocate in any way in her messages back then forget about her and move on, she is either not serious about trying to find a partner, or not interested in you....either way it doesn't really matter, write her off and forget about it. Don't think that you somehow have to "win" every girl that responds or messages you, and don't think you're "losing" just because 99% of your communications are going to go nowhere. Instead simply accept that that's simply like on-line dating is, and if you choose to do it you have to accept it for what it is, because it's not going to be any different for you than it is for anyone else.
What do you do if you have little to no interesting experiences and nothing in common with most women?
Otherwise, everything else you've said is good advice.
10 Jun 2017, 2:28 am
10 Jun 2017, 6:07 am
sly279 wrote:
Chichikov wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Non of my very very very few conversations go anywhere though
You're no different from anyone else using on-line dating then. The whole fad is winding down now anyway, people are turning away from on-line dating and going back to traditional "matchmaker" services, mainly because...well, like everything else, people have ruined it. Whenever an on-line service gets popular it is soon flooded with nothing but scammers and fraudsters and it slowly dies.
Except that I'm an inferior male who's not a real man.
Dude, quit it. If you already have enough trouble finding a woman to share your life with, you're certainly not helping your own situation by putting yourself down. If anything, you're doing the complete opposite. Have some confidence, for Christ's sake.
10 Jun 2017, 7:36 am
10 Jun 2017, 12:44 pm
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