09 Jun 2017, 3:28 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
OK on reflection I've realised what happened here.
She was disappointed that your first thought upon finding she was free for the day was, "I wanna go hang with my friends".
She hoped your thought would be, "I'm glad your here, I want to spend time with you because I love you."
So she felt unloved because you didn't want to spend time with her.
I would be upset too.
She was disappointed that your first thought upon finding she was free for the day was, "I wanna go hang with my friends".
She hoped your thought would be, "I'm glad your here, I want to spend time with you because I love you."
So she felt unloved because you didn't want to spend time with her.
I would be upset too.
You first say that not all women do this and that, and then you confirm that you would react just the same.
How are we men gonna believe any of you anymore?
Yeah I know. I know. I'm crazy too.
I would love to think I'm totally straight forward, but I guess I'm not.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Age: 42
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09 Jun 2017, 4:25 am
hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
OK on reflection I've realised what happened here.
She was disappointed that your first thought upon finding she was free for the day was, "I wanna go hang with my friends".
She hoped your thought would be, "I'm glad your here, I want to spend time with you because I love you."
So she felt unloved because you didn't want to spend time with her.
I would be upset too.
She was disappointed that your first thought upon finding she was free for the day was, "I wanna go hang with my friends".
She hoped your thought would be, "I'm glad your here, I want to spend time with you because I love you."
So she felt unloved because you didn't want to spend time with her.
I would be upset too.
You first say that not all women do this and that, and then you confirm that you would react just the same.
How are we men gonna believe any of you anymore?
Yeah I know. I know. I'm crazy too.
I would love to think I'm totally straight forward, but I guess I'm not.
*Sigh*
Women...
My current gf/fwb (it's complicated) is just like that.
She was used to hold everything, then she spills everything when she gets drunk - turning out that many things she was saying as Ok was not really Ok for her.
10 Jun 2017, 4:16 am
Shelf wrote:
If all you have told her is to "just be honest" then she was honest. Her responses are typical NT responses and she is not trying to be confusing, play games or make you crazy. What she said is honestly how she feels.
The 1st response: "Yeah that's fine go ahead", is honest to her because an NT will first try to be subtle as far as words and possibly she sounded annoyed, rolled her eyes or maybe her face looked mad
----->She expected you to understand at this point if she hinted in her voice or face what she really wants because another NT would automatically understand the non verbal language and stay home or ask more questions like nicely saying "are you annoyed honey, do you want me to stay here with you, I would love to stay here if you want me to"-and she can just give a hug without having to say yes in response.
The 1st response: "Yeah that's fine go ahead", is honest to her because an NT will first try to be subtle as far as words and possibly she sounded annoyed, rolled her eyes or maybe her face looked mad
----->She expected you to understand at this point if she hinted in her voice or face what she really wants because another NT would automatically understand the non verbal language and stay home or ask more questions like nicely saying "are you annoyed honey, do you want me to stay here with you, I would love to stay here if you want me to"-and she can just give a hug without having to say yes in response.If she showed obvious sarcasm or disappointment, yes an NT would have picked up on it but that a girl says one thing, means something else and expects him to know, is something NT men also complain a lot about, so it can't be something all girls do in a way an NT can easily pick up on.
Shelf wrote:
I don't think she understands that you didn't pick up the meaning of her 1st response. She thinks it is obvious.
So you get ready to leave. Which to her it appears you are a jerk and a bad boyfriend because she has no idea that you did not understand her 1st response or she thinks you ignored it.
So you get ready to leave. Which to her it appears you are a jerk and a bad boyfriend because she has no idea that you did not understand her 1st response or she thinks you ignored it.
She certainly thinks it's obvious, but that doesn't mean all/most NTs would pick up on it.
I think it's as simple as this: a low-drama person who is not very resistant to stress is not very compatible with a high-drama person.
18 Jun 2017, 12:43 am
18 Jun 2017, 6:52 am
