This is what some women think about when they date you
That is the sad truth, not suprising at all, besides the fact she was so transparent about it. In my view, women are simply a waste of time, money and overall happiness. I've finally reached the point where I just don't care anymore, I am not even angry at all, I simply don't spend time thinking about it. There's no point in getting upset about something you can't change. Spend your time wisely following your passions instead, no matter how big or small, it is the only thing in life that will actually fulfill you.
It's easy to avoid. Don't do dating. Make sure that your potential partner knows nothing about your status, your income, your job, your interests or your intelligence, and you can be reassured that those that remain actually are capable of unconditional love.
Because the purpose of dating is to disclose this kind of information to a potential partner so they can discard you if you don't meet their expectations. And it is not only job and income but also which cultural subgroup you are in, your abilities and disabilities.
When you do courtship the natural ND way, you will not know any of this information, and when you have bonded together, you will instead merge your interests and cultural preferences in a way that both can live with. Which is why dating is so bad for NDs. It gives none of the interesting attributes of a potential partner.
This makes me sad
I'll throw some other real life experiences into the mix. I have a friend who married a man when she was 19/20 and turns out he's not the kind to be good a keeping a job. They are in their 50s now and she is angry and upset that they don't have a comfortable life like their peers. She wants a Land Rover, but they have a hatchback. It causes friction.
Conversely I know a couple who really don't have much of anything and they are both very happy. They both waited till they were in their 30s to get married because they were holding out for someone like themselves. I can't be too specific because they may use this forum, but they are quirky and awesome and I love them to bits.
My point is, there are definately the kind of people out there who value status over all else, but there are also folks out there who are looking for a real connection.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,108
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
She is being transparent about it with me after I friendzoned her - but she wasn't transparent when I was dating her and she isn't being so with her current date; like you can see above she doesn't want to ask him directly.
When I was dating her; she was insisting to pay half for meals and dinners, claiming she likes to be independent, and my first impression was like "wow she's amazing, so different from other women i dated" .... but look what she turned out to be!!
The first thing that made me suspect her tho when she mentioned that women should be given some assets from husband as kind of security; she explained that women in Korea (she lived in S. Korea) can hardly be as successful as men due to societal expectations and can hardly be accepted in the job market after being housewives; her justification made sense tho and it's not really an alien concept to me (and to my culture). So I was still giving her the benefit of doubt.
But the more she talked about money the more I sensed it; so I decided to quit it.
But despite that, this chat shocked me, this is too much greed and dehuminazing toward men.
I've really dodged a bullet but I still feel resentful about it.
She is being transparent about it with me after I friendzoned her - but she wasn't transparent when I was dating her and she isn't being so with her current date; like you can see above she doesn't want to ask him directly.
When I was dating her; she was insisting to pay half for meals and dinners, claiming she likes to be independent, and my first impression was like "wow she's amazing, so different from other women i dated" .... but look what she turned out to be!!
The first thing that made me suspect her tho when she mentioned that women should be given some assets from husband as kind of security; she explained that women in Korea (she lived in S. Korea) can hardly be as successful as men due to societal expectations; her justification made sense tho and it's not really an alien concept to me (and to my culture). So I was still giving her the benefit of doubt.
But the more she talked about money the more I sensed it; so I decided to quit it.
But despite that, this chat shocked me, this is too much greed and dehuminazing toward men.
I've really dodged a bullet but I still feel resentful about it.
Wow, I get you man, she's pretty disgusting. Unfortunately, I'm still not suprised. I have come to expect chameleon acts like these, and I have developed a sixth sense for this kind of behaviour, I see it all the time. Even in the women in my own family. I could probably still be fooled and manipulated though, so that's why I have no interest in dating anymore. I can't not notice it, and I have absolutely no interest in being chosen on the basis of my bank account. Sign me off.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,966
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I believe in the traditional Christian marriage vows, "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health." So if I ever found a man whom I loved, who was poor and sick, I would still marry him and just pray that God would provide what we need.
I cannot believe some people are so selfish in marriage.
_________________
31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.
Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)
"I am silently correcting your grammar."
Last edited by Knofskia on 11 Jun 2017, 9:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,108
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
This is not the first time here that I’ve read “warning” posts like this—and I’m not referring to the one you posted previously--it has given me a strong impression that there’s potentially something being bred here--not deliberately--that could actually do men more harm than good if nothing else is said. As both a woman and one who’s been in a very healthy relationship since 1988, I decided to speak up to help those here who will tell you right up front that they’ve had a hard time attracting and/or keeping girlfriends.
When I spoke of imperfections, I was not talking about gold-digging AT ALL. That is not a “simple imperfection,” as you said; I consider those women to be superficial b!tches. Additionally, the vast majority of women I know don’t think or talk like that—and I have worked almost exclusively with women for a couple of decades. I will continue to find it insulting when anyone--male or female--lumps us together, and will assert my disapproval specifically because, in the minds of those detractors, we're all guilty! Maybe you, yourself, weren't painting me with that broad brush, but how am I to know that--and how are you to know how many non-gold-digging-women are out there if we say nothing? Considering all the malicious stereotypes plastered on women throughout much of history, I will speak up. (Before you pounce, let me say that I try not to overgeneralize anyone, myself. It takes work sometimes, but it's worth it.)
BTW: if you want to talk about being “clear enough,” I will point out that I didn’t even use the word “simple” and that I never would say that men and women don’t have reason to distrust each other. I did, however, say that there’s a balance to be struck between presumed guilt and blind trust; as you yourself said, it’s a problem.
I didn’t post here to piss anyone off; I’m glad that you have a relationship going, and I hope it’s a good one.
Well don't women talk about the players problem in their section of the forum?
Should they be fobidden to talk about it just because some man may take it personal? Hell no.
In the same logic, what i posted is a COMMON men problem in the dating world; and therefore- we have the right to warn each other on that and to talk about openly.
And if some woman takes this personally, well that's her problem.
What more should we do? even the 'many' and 'some' keyworks don't seem to be enough for some here.
And men warn each other from that type of women in real life as I explained before; so what you are seeing here is a reflection of what men talk to each other when it comes to dating women.
And you cannot change that fact nor that fear that all men have.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,966
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
This is not the first time here that I’ve read “warning” posts like this—and I’m not referring to the one you posted previously--it has given me a strong impression that there’s potentially something being bred here--not deliberately--that could actually do men more harm than good if nothing else is said. As both a woman and one who’s been in a very healthy relationship since 1988, I decided to speak up to help those here who will tell you right up front that they’ve had a hard time attracting and/or keeping girlfriends.
When I spoke of imperfections, I was not talking about gold-digging AT ALL. That is not a “simple imperfection,” as you said; I consider those women to be superficial b!tches. Additionally, the vast majority of women I know don’t think or talk like that—and I have worked almost exclusively with women for a couple of decades. I will continue to find it insulting when anyone--male or female--lumps us together, and will assert my disapproval specifically because, in the minds of those detractors, we're all guilty! Maybe you, yourself, weren't painting me with that broad brush, but how am I to know that--and how are you to know how many non-gold-digging-women are out there if we say nothing? Considering all the malicious stereotypes plastered on women throughout much of history, I will speak up. (Before you pounce, let me say that I try not to overgeneralize anyone, myself. It takes work sometimes, but it's worth it.)
BTW: if you want to talk about being “clear enough,” I will point out that I didn’t even use the word “simple” and that I never would say that men and women don’t have reason to distrust each other. I did, however, say that there’s a balance to be struck between presumed guilt and blind trust; as you yourself said, it’s a problem.
I didn’t post here to piss anyone off; I’m glad that you have a relationship going, and I hope it’s a good one.
Well don't women talk about the players problem in their section of the forum?
Should they be fobidden to talk about it just because some man may take it personal? Hell no.
In the same logic, what i posted is a COMMON men problem in the dating world; and therefore- we have the right to warn each other on that and to talk about openly.
And if some woman takes this personally, well that's her problem.
What more should we do? even the 'many' and 'some' keyworks don't seem to be enough for some here.
And men warn each other from that type of women in real life as I explained before; so what you are seeing here is a reflection of what men talk to each other when it comes to dating women.
And you cannot change that fact nor that fear that all men have.
There is a difference between warning people of 'women like that' and generalizing that all women are like that and that they are lying if they say they aren't.
_________________
We won't go back.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,108
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
This is not the first time here that I’ve read “warning” posts like this—and I’m not referring to the one you posted previously--it has given me a strong impression that there’s potentially something being bred here--not deliberately--that could actually do men more harm than good if nothing else is said. As both a woman and one who’s been in a very healthy relationship since 1988, I decided to speak up to help those here who will tell you right up front that they’ve had a hard time attracting and/or keeping girlfriends.
When I spoke of imperfections, I was not talking about gold-digging AT ALL. That is not a “simple imperfection,” as you said; I consider those women to be superficial b!tches. Additionally, the vast majority of women I know don’t think or talk like that—and I have worked almost exclusively with women for a couple of decades. I will continue to find it insulting when anyone--male or female--lumps us together, and will assert my disapproval specifically because, in the minds of those detractors, we're all guilty! Maybe you, yourself, weren't painting me with that broad brush, but how am I to know that--and how are you to know how many non-gold-digging-women are out there if we say nothing? Considering all the malicious stereotypes plastered on women throughout much of history, I will speak up. (Before you pounce, let me say that I try not to overgeneralize anyone, myself. It takes work sometimes, but it's worth it.)
BTW: if you want to talk about being “clear enough,” I will point out that I didn’t even use the word “simple” and that I never would say that men and women don’t have reason to distrust each other. I did, however, say that there’s a balance to be struck between presumed guilt and blind trust; as you yourself said, it’s a problem.
I didn’t post here to piss anyone off; I’m glad that you have a relationship going, and I hope it’s a good one.
Well don't women talk about the players problem in their section of the forum?
Should they be fobidden to talk about it just because some man may take it personal? Hell no.
In the same logic, what i posted is a COMMON men problem in the dating world; and therefore- we have the right to warn each other on that and to talk about openly.
And if some woman takes this personally, well that's her problem.
What more should we do? even the 'many' and 'some' keyworks don't seem to be enough for some here.
And men warn each other from that type of women in real life as I explained before; so what you are seeing here is a reflection of what men talk to each other when it comes to dating women.
And you cannot change that fact nor that fear that all men have.
There is a difference between warning people of 'women like that' and generalizing that all women are like that and that they are lying if they say they aren't.
And where did I ever say that? Hm?
See, Sweetleaf, you get offended even if I talk bad about 1 woman; you just can't handle it; you are constantly searching for a reason to get offended, as a "fellow woman", and you always jump in defending *any* woman.
This had been an obvious pattern in your posting.
How ironic!! .
They call this, a knee jerk reaction!
Really? Funny how one judgemental person judges another for the very thing they do.
_________________
I've left WP.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,108
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
How ironic!! .
They call this, a knee jerk reaction!
Really? Funny how one judgemental person judges another for the very thing they do.
Shame on you TheSpectrum!
Don't you know that your knee jerk reactions are jerkier than mine?
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,966
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
This is not the first time here that I’ve read “warning” posts like this—and I’m not referring to the one you posted previously--it has given me a strong impression that there’s potentially something being bred here--not deliberately--that could actually do men more harm than good if nothing else is said. As both a woman and one who’s been in a very healthy relationship since 1988, I decided to speak up to help those here who will tell you right up front that they’ve had a hard time attracting and/or keeping girlfriends.
When I spoke of imperfections, I was not talking about gold-digging AT ALL. That is not a “simple imperfection,” as you said; I consider those women to be superficial b!tches. Additionally, the vast majority of women I know don’t think or talk like that—and I have worked almost exclusively with women for a couple of decades. I will continue to find it insulting when anyone--male or female--lumps us together, and will assert my disapproval specifically because, in the minds of those detractors, we're all guilty! Maybe you, yourself, weren't painting me with that broad brush, but how am I to know that--and how are you to know how many non-gold-digging-women are out there if we say nothing? Considering all the malicious stereotypes plastered on women throughout much of history, I will speak up. (Before you pounce, let me say that I try not to overgeneralize anyone, myself. It takes work sometimes, but it's worth it.)
BTW: if you want to talk about being “clear enough,” I will point out that I didn’t even use the word “simple” and that I never would say that men and women don’t have reason to distrust each other. I did, however, say that there’s a balance to be struck between presumed guilt and blind trust; as you yourself said, it’s a problem.
I didn’t post here to piss anyone off; I’m glad that you have a relationship going, and I hope it’s a good one.
Well don't women talk about the players problem in their section of the forum?
Should they be fobidden to talk about it just because some man may take it personal? Hell no.
In the same logic, what i posted is a COMMON men problem in the dating world; and therefore- we have the right to warn each other on that and to talk about openly.
And if some woman takes this personally, well that's her problem.
What more should we do? even the 'many' and 'some' keyworks don't seem to be enough for some here.
And men warn each other from that type of women in real life as I explained before; so what you are seeing here is a reflection of what men talk to each other when it comes to dating women.
And you cannot change that fact nor that fear that all men have.
There is a difference between warning people of 'women like that' and generalizing that all women are like that and that they are lying if they say they aren't.
And where did I ever say that? Hm?
See, Sweetleaf, you get offended even if I talk bad about 1 woman; you just can't handle it; you are constantly searching for a reason to get offended, as a "fellow woman", and you always jump in defending *any* woman.
This had been an obvious pattern in your posting.
Repeatedly on this forum you accuse females who express that they aren't that type of women of lying and being dishonest. Also I am not offended...just pointing it out.
_________________
We won't go back.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,108
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
This is not the first time here that I’ve read “warning” posts like this—and I’m not referring to the one you posted previously--it has given me a strong impression that there’s potentially something being bred here--not deliberately--that could actually do men more harm than good if nothing else is said. As both a woman and one who’s been in a very healthy relationship since 1988, I decided to speak up to help those here who will tell you right up front that they’ve had a hard time attracting and/or keeping girlfriends.
When I spoke of imperfections, I was not talking about gold-digging AT ALL. That is not a “simple imperfection,” as you said; I consider those women to be superficial b!tches. Additionally, the vast majority of women I know don’t think or talk like that—and I have worked almost exclusively with women for a couple of decades. I will continue to find it insulting when anyone--male or female--lumps us together, and will assert my disapproval specifically because, in the minds of those detractors, we're all guilty! Maybe you, yourself, weren't painting me with that broad brush, but how am I to know that--and how are you to know how many non-gold-digging-women are out there if we say nothing? Considering all the malicious stereotypes plastered on women throughout much of history, I will speak up. (Before you pounce, let me say that I try not to overgeneralize anyone, myself. It takes work sometimes, but it's worth it.)
BTW: if you want to talk about being “clear enough,” I will point out that I didn’t even use the word “simple” and that I never would say that men and women don’t have reason to distrust each other. I did, however, say that there’s a balance to be struck between presumed guilt and blind trust; as you yourself said, it’s a problem.
I didn’t post here to piss anyone off; I’m glad that you have a relationship going, and I hope it’s a good one.
Well don't women talk about the players problem in their section of the forum?
Should they be fobidden to talk about it just because some man may take it personal? Hell no.
In the same logic, what i posted is a COMMON men problem in the dating world; and therefore- we have the right to warn each other on that and to talk about openly.
And if some woman takes this personally, well that's her problem.
What more should we do? even the 'many' and 'some' keyworks don't seem to be enough for some here.
And men warn each other from that type of women in real life as I explained before; so what you are seeing here is a reflection of what men talk to each other when it comes to dating women.
And you cannot change that fact nor that fear that all men have.
There is a difference between warning people of 'women like that' and generalizing that all women are like that and that they are lying if they say they aren't.
And where did I ever say that? Hm?
See, Sweetleaf, you get offended even if I talk bad about 1 woman; you just can't handle it; you are constantly searching for a reason to get offended, as a "fellow woman", and you always jump in defending *any* woman.
This had been an obvious pattern in your posting.
Repeatedly on this forum you accuse females who express that they aren't that type of women of lying and being dishonest. Also I am not offended...just pointing it out.
You are trolling; either you stay on topic or leave and report those posts you claim I have to a mod.
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