It's so hard to imagine not being alone

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Well Facebook me has nothing to do with me & self-rejects. Regular ole' me was completely indifferent to Facebook me before & after I ever interacted with that company & the same goes for everyone. Thus I don't consider any corporation part of a human dialogue; they're machines which can only intercede.

Facebook was never a useful venue for dating purposes in my case, I dunno why.

No chat originated on facebook ever led to a date.

What's more difficult for us all to grasp is that we needn't imagine.

Overuse of white space, 'X' buttons on everything, timestamps all over conversations nobody should rush, vapid little gear iconography representing no actual preferences; now THAT made me feel alone. There's no reason to abide malevolent pseudoscience & lazy design.

However when I'm OFFLINE working on some code for hours with a cappuccino & no messages open I feel perfectly at one with everybody. My head's in the wrong place when I take too much initiative on social media, letting conversations open from the other end is a good way of knowing when to set aside any big questions rattling through my head.

Yes, once he gets to know you, there is a significant chance he'll reject you. That is always a real possibility.

If he rejects you, you lose nothing. You end up alone just as you are now.
If perchance he doesn't reject you, you gain much. You gain a better life.

Think of it like Pascal's wager. You gain very little of you lose and very much if you win.

Thanks, that actually makes me feel better.

There's no time like the present to ask this guy out

Oh my goodness I'm so crap at this. We started a conversation and I just asked away. I couldn't find anything to busy myself with and I didn't want to seem like I was loitering so I walked away. Why did I do that?!?

I am going to be alone forever.

Oh come on, grow some balls.




But I did the same many times, even not long ago. I mean I was about to leave the place, carried my stuff to leave so it was obvious i was leaving, and a short conversation happened at that moment with that cute girl and I was like, 'I shall be going now, see you later' - we just exchanged first names.

I did that on a plane once, met for 2 or 3 hours & we both fled after passing security.

I share hurtloam's total confusion on how to pace conversations. I'm happier & in a more natural place now that I'm just hanging around someone I really know. I put myself in limbo all the time too, all that's important is having asked, it's not the kind of question that gets coherently answered on the spot.

You talked to him? Good. Your first conversation. The first of many. If you want to get good at something there are three rules you must follow. These are Practice, Practice, Practice!!

You think your conversation with him was crap? Sure it was. Just like how you were crap at driving the first time but good at driving the thousandth time.

Your second conversation with him will be just a little better. Your third a bit better than that. Keep practicing. One day, you'll know him so well that he will be the only person around which you don't feel self-conscious. In other words, you will feel as relaxed around him as you do by yourself.

Everyone, let's give a bro fist to hurtloam.

It's serious though, I feel stupid today because I KNOW I must not make sense to anybody.

Reminds me of this quote

Considering how strange it can be for most of us talking to people at all, we really should find all the time we can for talks with anyone we feel natural around.

Enough 'saving face' for me personally. I'm as shy as I am about forming my own attachments but I'm again reconciling the fact that others are not & that I should leave that out of sight, out of mind to stay available when they do need me. I give everyone way too much to think about, miss obvious cues, turn & bolt but at least I managed to tell some of them why. We're all just alive to learn from each other so it's important to take some joy in it too.

stop being shallow, then you will get a bf

I haven't really seen any shallow posts in here, we should have more comic relief.