Looking for love or just feeling lonely?

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I think loneliness is what eats me the most, but I think ideally the loneliness should outweigh the social self defeating bias, that's not my case, and yeah. no Idea what to do with that. I am going to serve as a minister to my sister's wedding, but I am dreading people asking me why I am at 30 and still single. (the Irish side of the family is going to eat me alive fore this)

I used to dread that question too, but now that I'm 35 I actually don't care any more. I don't know why. I am close enough to extended family to have told them about men that I have been interested in and they've seen that each of those crushes didn't turn into anything at all.

I can answer now, "I still haven't met the right person." And it's ok. I think they've got used to it. they feel sad for me and they can't understand why no one wants me, but I don't feel pressured anymore. I don't know why. I think my attitude has changed.

yeah, my problem is I don't actively look, I mean, what would I do? go to bars and try to chat of complete strangers? there are million things wrong with that on all sides. NTs seem to manage things to easily though...

some of my mom's side of the family have basically just written me off as gay, not the case, but I guess it deflects them little, and their 'perfect' family idea. my only close times I almost had a girlfriend was with female students that I tutored. basically all of them were of Asian decent and even though I tried to be professional, they gradually shifted our sessions into a weird 'compensated' dating thing (which is apparently not so weird in Asia) and would have me teach other things like cooking and such even if it was off topic. It was weird though since this wasn't why I was doing tutoring, but that predominately is what would happen, but it always left me conflicted.

Those are part & parcel.

Hi:

Both for me but I am more lonely.

One of my uncle's tried to out me at a family gathering because he was convinced I was secretly going out with one of my female friends. My Dad's face was such a picture I actually didn't correct him.

If they want to think in gay I really don't mind. I suppose it'll be an even bigger surprise when I find a man who actually wants to stick around.

A lot of people think I am gay too when I am actually the opposite.