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jrjones9933
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02 Jul 2017, 9:27 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You put the first sentence just so you sound more politically correct - but we all know that you mean men.
Real consent is always enthusiastic, I don't get how one would get aroused otherwise with a motionless body.
I mean all my encounters were the ones who pulled my pants down, grab it by hand for bj or to put it in their inside while flirting; there's no doubt in consent here.

You can't find a way to act outraged at what I actually wrote, so you rewrite it into something that allows you to feel superior and oppressed.


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TheSpectrum
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02 Jul 2017, 10:17 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
It applies to all sexes and genders. If you want to have sex, you damn well need to clear it with the other person. This responsibility falls on the person or people who want to have sex. I guess some people don't understand this absolute social rule.

Logically, this will hurt your chances with repressed people. Sorry, repressed people; it probably stings to have minority status after so long in the majority. You may have to get over it just a little in order to have sex. It may seem unfair, but it will prevent a lot of date rape.

I've had a chance to read this sober, so here goes...

Making the sure the other person is consenting is a priority. Yes, I believe we can all agree on that.
However, what you're describing does not allow for natural chemistry that occurs between two people.
You don't just go into a bedroom and ask "can we haz the sex now, plz??" and the other person goes "affirmative, significant other. let us mate." - we're not robots. It's hard to explain, but it just doesn't work that way. I'll wait for a woman to chime in on that, lest I and the other readers be covertly labelled as date rapists again for not saying "can we have sex now?" before every encounter as if it were like saying grace before each meal.


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jrjones9933
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02 Jul 2017, 10:45 am

You have an interpretation of "clear it with the other person" which goes far beyond anything I wrote.

One person reacts with outrage to something that I never wrote, and a bunch of people chime in with outrage over that baseless accusation. Weird.


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TheSpectrum
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02 Jul 2017, 10:56 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
You have an interpretation of "clear it with the other person" which goes far beyond anything I wrote.

One person reacts with outrage to something that I never wrote, and a bunch of people chime in with outrage over that baseless accusation. Weird.

Then the best thing would be if you went into further detail. I am only assuming you meant that because you laid out no specifics.

How would you personally clear such a thing up with someone beforehand?


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jrjones9933
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02 Jul 2017, 11:29 am

^However is appropriate to the situation, by deliberately paying attention to the other person. Sort of like I want people to reply to my actual words.

I don't have a blanket prescription. My point is that the absolute social rule now exists, and people need to face facts. Deal with that rule to the best of your abilities. Autism affects different people differently with regard to understanding other people, so YMMV.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Jul 2017, 1:48 pm

Why don't you answer his question concretely?

jrjones9933 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You put the first sentence just so you sound more politically correct - but we all know that you mean men.
Real consent is always enthusiastic, I don't get how one would get aroused otherwise with a motionless body.
I mean all my encounters were the ones who pulled my pants down, grab it by hand for bj or to put it in their inside while flirting; there's no doubt in consent here.

You can't find a way to act outraged at what I actually wrote, so you rewrite it into something that allows you to feel superior and oppressed.


I just wrote how I get consent in my real life experience.



jrjones9933
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02 Jul 2017, 2:05 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Why don't you answer his question concretely?

jrjones9933 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You put the first sentence just so you sound more politically correct - but we all know that you mean men.
Real consent is always enthusiastic, I don't get how one would get aroused otherwise with a motionless body.
I mean all my encounters were the ones who pulled my pants down, grab it by hand for bj or to put it in their inside while flirting; there's no doubt in consent here.

You can't find a way to act outraged at what I actually wrote, so you rewrite it into something that allows you to feel superior and oppressed.


I just wrote how I get consent in my real life experience.

I answered it.

Your method sounds legit, if you're asking, although technically you're giving consent, and it technically sounds like a letter to Penthouse Forum.


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TheSpectrum
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02 Jul 2017, 5:52 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:
^However is appropriate to the situation, by deliberately paying attention to the other person. Sort of like I want people to reply to my actual words.

I don't have a blanket prescription. My point is that the absolute social rule now exists, and people need to face facts. Deal with that rule to the best of your abilities. Autism affects different people differently with regard to understanding other people, so YMMV.

Come on, can't you give me one example? How do you expect people to take your advice as seriously as you do if you continue to be vague, and challenge all criticism you receive because we are unable to interpret something the way you want us to?

Look at the last bit of your post. You are right there, Autism affects different people differently with regard to understanding other people, but it seems you say it in order to sound good rather than because you actually respect that viewpoint. I say that because of the way you've approached us, fellow Aspies, after we're trying to figure out your OP.

Why can't you give us a point? How can I take you seriously? You might as well be that boss that tells you to "WORK HARDER!" or that person seeing a beggar and tells them to "stop being poor". Giving advice is one thing. Giving effective advice is another. You've told us what to do, but not how. Surely from your time in this forum, you must appreciate how much Aspies need the "how" part. Expand on your valid point that consent is key.

And can you do that by giving an example of how you would personally ensure consent is there? I mean, it doesn't have to be a real case scenario if you're stuck.... You could just make one up or something.


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jrjones9933
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02 Jul 2017, 6:08 pm

I disagree. Any hypothetical seems too hypothetical, given the diverse levels of social functioning ability here and the variety of situations where one might want to have sex. Also, I didn't start this thread to give advice.

I'd rather the people who believe that this is the rule convince the people who still don't understand.


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TheSpectrum
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02 Jul 2017, 6:22 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:
I disagree. Any hypothetical seems too hypothetical, given the diverse levels of social functioning ability here and the variety of situations where one might want to have sex. Also, I didn't start this thread to give advice.

I'd rather the people who believe that this is the rule convince the people who still don't understand.

So......you can't give an example then?

You insist on browbeating people to believe an opinion without any elaborate reasoning. It seems every time you receive criticism you also move the goal posts.

Seeing as you didn't come here to give advice then, can you at least provide useful statements or reasoning to accompany the OP? Your OP raises a valid concern, but has no meat to it. To be frank, I'd expect most HFA's and even those who are not will get and already get the basics about consent and why it's so important even before you made this thread.

Is this the quality we're at now? Should I just make a thread saying "Don't kill people if they reject you!" and wait for people to tell me what a great human-thing I am?


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jrjones9933
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02 Jul 2017, 7:14 pm

It's funny that you think your approval matters.


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TheSpectrum
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02 Jul 2017, 7:27 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:
It's funny that you think your approval matters.

Have to admit, there's something definitely funny about this whole thing.

But you know, if you're not willing to engage your audience rationally or with any reasoning, then what do you expect?

You've resorted to personal attacks instead of a rational discussion. You've chosen to deflect rather than tackle questions. Most would have seen that as an opportunity to say more about what they claim to take value in.

You're not even fulfilling the original purpose of your thread, which might I add could be construed as a breach of point 1. in the TOS against exhibiting "behavior intended to provoke or belittle other members". This can be found pinned to the top of the L&D board. Reread your OP. Review your responses to me and the others.

I don't know why I'm even bothering. The thread is officially useless now, anyway.


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jrjones9933
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02 Jul 2017, 7:51 pm

How could it ever be, when the most prolific posters claim to agree with my simple statement, but insist on making it complicated by imagining a bizarre agenda and trying to pin it on me?

Then you start making demands? It's also funny how you think me not caring about them constitutes a personal attack against you, after you have made such awful, unfounded inferences about my thought process.


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TheSpectrum
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02 Jul 2017, 7:56 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:
It's also funny how you think me not caring about them constitutes a personal attack against you, after you have made such awful, unfounded inferences about my thought process.

Don't you see the irony in this statement?


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02 Jul 2017, 8:00 pm

TheSpectrum wrote:
It seems every time you receive criticism you also move the goal posts.

EXACTLY----always DOES----and, not only that, but when people don't respond the way he wants them to (aka agree with him), he'll ADD a stipulation, to make them wrong.







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02 Jul 2017, 8:06 pm

Campin_Cat wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
It seems every time you receive criticism you also move the goal posts.

EXACTLY----always DOES----and, not only that, but when people don't respond the way he wants them to (aka agree with him), he'll ADD a stipulation, to make them wrong.

But this why this is so incomprehensibly stupid.
I agree with him about consent. I just don't agree with the attitude and method with which he is trying to spread his message because it seems deliberately uninformative and offensive, and of course the lack of coherence to it. At first nobody knew WTH was going on, and now that we sort of know what's going on he's still not happy, even though people agree with what he is saying.

What gives?


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