Why is it harder for men in this case?

Page 2 of 5 [ 78 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Next

Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,144
Location: The end of the northwest passage

23 Jul 2017, 6:50 pm

Doubtless. Advertising exposes one to much greater numbers, and there are plenty of men out there who would indeed accept.

I don't think a lot of people walk around with the idea that most men feel that way. Teenage boys are an exception, and seem to assume that most male creatures feel the same way they do.

Thinking about this got me onto contemplating the lives of asexual teen boys. I would imagine that most people have a hard time getting their minds around that concept, which probably makes their lives a bit rough.

_________________
"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade

blackicmenace
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Nov 2016
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,465
Location: Sagittarius A

23 Jul 2017, 7:17 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:

I am not Asexual per say, but close. It was always very uncomfortable being around groups of males that tend to get a bit raunchy and brag about their sexual prowess. While I understand the appeal I don't see the point of the bravado, I was never impressed.

_________________
“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” ― Bertrand Russell

Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

23 Jul 2017, 7:23 pm

Chronos wrote:

jrjones9933 wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

Chronos wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

My friend was saying last night "you can be not the best looking woman in the world and still get plenty of dates and male attention. But if your not the best looking man in the world it will be harder to get female interest and dates.

Why do you think this is the case with men compared to women?

Let's be more specific here.

Women have an easier time finding a man who will have sex with them. Not a man to have a loving, committed relationship with, or who will marry them, and quite frankly, sex is cheap. How would you feel if men started flirting with you and the majority of them who did this only did this because they want to use you to satisfy their sexual urges?
You might think "Well I'm a heterosexual guy so I would be more disgusted by this than a heterosexual woman," but that's actually not the case. Heterosexual women are just as disgusted by the thought of some random guy using them merely for sex as a heterosexual man is.

Why aren't heterosexual men as disgusted at the thought of some random woman using them merely for sex then?

Lots of guys will actually bail out if that happens, despite what they say.

A lot will. Men aren't all about sex. But that doesn't change the fact that if a man and woman both stood there with a sign advertising casual, no strings attached sex, the woman would have a very long line of heterosexual men and the man would have a few gay men and a handful of prostitutes wanting to charge him for his service.

Pretty much how I felt on dating websites. I had gay men hitting the flirt option at me and the women who wanted sex had a "Put Up or Shut Up" list because gender expectations where the man has to make the first move still applied. Even when I tried a "fling" site out of desperation, I had to pay but that money didn't go anywhere because I wasn't a bad boy and trying the casual personals on craigslist was a shot in the dark.

SwissPagan
Deinonychus

Joined: 17 Jan 2015
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 316

23 Jul 2017, 10:39 pm

Jamesy wrote:

Chronos wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

Why aren't heterosexual men as disgusted at the thought of some random woman using them merely for sex then?

from an evolutionary standpoint, you are still in the gene pool why complain? with women its a bigger investment.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

23 Jul 2017, 11:07 pm

Sometimes I think we forget to factor autism into these discussions.

I'm sorry to say, but it's gonna be the same for an autistic male as it is for an autistic female if they appear to be a bit off.

I have certain female acquaintances that are seen by NTs as a bit off to say the least. I'm sorry to say, but they're not ever going to find someone.

Is Susan Boyle going to have more success than a similar male (ignoring her fame )? I don't think so.

Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

24 Jul 2017, 6:08 am

Really glad chronos brought up biology. It is by far the biggest factor, in EVERYTHING we humans do. EVERYTHING boils down to reproduction.
I think once people stop using disney movies as source material for mating works, and start understanding our biological and psychological nature, they will probably be more succesful.

XFilesGeek
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,031
Location: The Oort Cloud

24 Jul 2017, 11:00 am

Closet Genious wrote:

Biologically, humans are the most socially complex species on the planet.

Cherry-picking which aspects of biology you want to pay attention to won't help your mating game.

Reducing all human behavior to simplistic expectations of "biology" is extremely silly.

_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced."

-XFG (no longer a moderator)

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

24 Jul 2017, 11:08 am

Susan Boyle has an extremely beautiful voice. I don't see how she has trouble finding men, frankly.

She also has an endearing honesty about her. I'm surprised men aren't flocking to her.

Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

24 Jul 2017, 11:21 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

Susan Boyle has an extremely beautiful voice. I don't see how she has trouble finding men, frankly.

She also has an endearing honesty about her. I'm surprised men aren't flocking to her.

The average Bible Belt man doesn't like her because she isn't "hot" and they hate female singers because they go against their outlook that women are supposed to be subservient.

If a woman is the face of a music project or is in any sort of leading role, the average Bible Belt man thinks she is a "b***h" who needs to "shut up and get back in the kitchen" so to say.

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

24 Jul 2017, 11:49 am

You seem to be meeting all the crap people in the Bible Belt. Just your luck!

I've met people from the Bible Belt who aren't like that.

Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

24 Jul 2017, 1:13 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

You seem to be meeting all the crap people in the Bible Belt. Just your luck!

I've met people from the Bible Belt who aren't like that.

Tell me about it.

The good people here are in the extreme minority. We are seen as "weirdos" or "communists".

blackicmenace
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Nov 2016
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,465
Location: Sagittarius A

24 Jul 2017, 1:25 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:

Closet Genious wrote:

Surely you don't deny the impact of the subconscious mind on viable candidates that you become attracted to. No one is denying that our higher functions influence the outcome, it would indeed be silly to think so. We are both simple and complex, our instinct takes over when our superior cognitive abilities are overwhelmed, but they also influence our thought processes on day to day activities. A females subconscious is relaying information about a potential mates immune system when deciphering his pheromones.

_________________
“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” ― Bertrand Russell

Chichikov
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2016
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,151
Location: UK

24 Jul 2017, 1:37 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:

Closet Genious wrote:

Even sillier is dismissing biology because it doesn't fit with a liberal ideology despite it explaining so many things. It's like people denying the Earth is a globe despite it needing to be a globe to prove so many phenomena.

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

24 Jul 2017, 1:47 pm

There are some people who make copious use of biology in forming impressions of people.

There are many others who really don't, though biology usually plays some small role.

To rely on the results of "social research" when determining your "fitness" for relationships is, ultimately, futile.

Because you, as an individual, are not the "composite" person who is usually considered within a "social research" context.

No family has 2.3 kids, or 2.4 cars.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

24 Jul 2017, 2:01 pm

It doesn't matter how much we talk about biology it doesn't change the fact that the op's friend is wrong. It's not easier for women to find a stable relationship ugly or not.

Chichikov
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2016
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,151
Location: UK

24 Jul 2017, 2:10 pm

hurtloam wrote:

It doesn't matter how much we talk about biology it doesn't change the fact that the op's friend is wrong. It's not easier for women to find a stable relationship ugly or not.

What's your evidence for this?

Page 2 of 5 [ 78 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Next

Jump to:

Why is it harder for men in this case? Post Reply New Topic

Why is it harder for men in this case?