Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

what is "chemistry"?

Page 2 of 5 [ 68 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

26 Jul 2017, 9:52 am

Closet Genious wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
i hear people say things like "we just didn't have any chemistry" or "make sure there is chemistry".

what does this even mean? is this just another way of saying "attraction"? or does it mean something else? :?


It means sexual attraction exactly - but many women avoid the use of any "sexual" term in front of people; hence why the more polite term "chemistry" is so popular among them.

ie. "Sorry, but I feel no chemistry" (translation: you don't arouse me, no reaction from my vag at all when I first met you).


Blunt, but spot on.


Ugh men telling women how they feel.


Well, women are generally terrible at self assesment. :)


Where do you get off lo :roll:



Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

26 Jul 2017, 10:04 am

1Biggles1 wrote:
Quote:
Closet Genious=Well, women are generally terrible at self assessment. :)


Clearly not... I corrected your spelling mistake as well... You're welcome.


Thanks, I hope that makes you feel better.

English is my third language btw.



1Biggles1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Apr 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,870

26 Jul 2017, 10:15 am

^Was more in relation to your response not your spelling mistake and was being lighthearted.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,103
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

26 Jul 2017, 10:53 am

1Biggles1 wrote:
^ Yup, like that answer the best.... Sorry for the boys that assume it is sexual. I am male and have known a number of women through out my life and many that would be perceived as visually attractive but unless there is a ''chemistry'' ,a depth and a sincerity to them then i have no interest other than possible friendship. I am not sexually attracted to a woman solely on their looks. I have met good looking women with shallow hearts and to me they become ugly. Looks in time can fade but a big, sincere adventurous heart and good conversation/company/depth makes them beautiful in my eyes for a lifetime.


That's where you and hurtloam are getting it so wrong.

Sexual attraction is not only based on looks. Duh.

Therefore, it has the same
meaning of "Chemistry".



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,103
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

26 Jul 2017, 11:03 am

hurtloam wrote:
Lol men always thinking it has to be something sexual. It is to a certain extent, but not completely.

One can be sexually attracted to someone they have no chemistry with.

Weirdly I was just looking at a WhatsApp profile photo of someone I know. He's still attractive to me, but we had no chemistry.

we couldn't talk to each other. It was mostly uphill. We would just misunderstand each other so often. I didn't get his motivation and he didn't get mine.

It was two gears that don't go together.

No chemistry can also mean, "I found the conversation dull or too difficult. Not enjoyable"


Does the Whatsapp guy arouse you sexually?

Compare these two questions:

- What are the reasons that don't make you sexually attracted to the whatsapp guy?

- What are the reasons that make you not to have a chemistry with the whatsapp guy?



1Biggles1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Apr 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,870

26 Jul 2017, 11:14 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
1Biggles1 wrote:
^ Yup, like that answer the best.... Sorry for the boys that assume it is sexual. I am male and have known a number of women through out my life and many that would be perceived as visually attractive but unless there is a ''chemistry'' ,a depth and a sincerity to them then i have no interest other than possible friendship. I am not sexually attracted to a woman solely on their looks. I have met good looking women with shallow hearts and to me they become ugly. Looks in time can fade but a big, sincere adventurous heart and good conversation/company/depth makes them beautiful in my eyes for a lifetime.


That's where you and hurtloam are getting it so wrong.

Sexual attraction is not only based on looks. Duh.

Therefore, it has the same
meaning of "Chemistry".


Quote:
It means sexual attraction exactly - but many women avoid the use of any "sexual" term in front of people; hence why the more polite term "chemistry" is so popular among them.

ie. "Sorry, but I feel no chemistry" (translation: you don't arouse me, no reaction from my vag at all when I first met you).

You Kinda got two different responses going on here... If you read my original post carefully i am referring to your response as an example but agreed with Raleighs definition in its totality.

That will be all i have to say on the matter. Good luck with trying to convert people to your individual ideology.



This_Amoeba
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Dec 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 575
Location: Plum Island, NY

26 Jul 2017, 12:28 pm

Reading some of these responses, I am not surprised some of these men have a hard time finding and keeping girlfriends :lol:



1Biggles1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Apr 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,870

26 Jul 2017, 12:29 pm

^+1



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,103
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

26 Jul 2017, 1:51 pm

This_Amoeba wrote:
Reading some of these responses, I am not surprised some of these men have a hard time finding and keeping girlfriends :lol:


In case you are referring to my posts (if not, then name the guys that you are attacking):

How to define chemistry isn't something that determines a man's ability in having relationships, or keeping them, I don't even see how your "armchair shrink" trolling is even related to the topic.

It's not a factor that makes one better or worse in having/keeping a relationship.

For example, hurtloam defines Chemistry probably in the way you agree with, yet she doesn't have a bf and having a hard time to get one.

So ....please stop parroting this BS and attempts to put down guys every time you see males' opinions that you don't agree with.

For the record, I have a gf since.....last november.

1Biggles1 wrote:
^+1


and you too.



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

26 Jul 2017, 2:28 pm

But you guys are just so dismissive of how women actually feel. It's just so bitter and nasty.



ZachGoodwin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,065

26 Jul 2017, 2:44 pm

hurtloam wrote:
But you guys are just so dismissive of how women actually feel. It's just so bitter and nasty.


I'm not dismissive of how women feel. Sure, some of what I say sounds aloof to some people, but I doubt that those people were in my shoes.



This_Amoeba
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Dec 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 575
Location: Plum Island, NY

26 Jul 2017, 2:46 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
This_Amoeba wrote:
Reading some of these responses, I am not surprised some of these men have a hard time finding and keeping girlfriends :lol:


In case you are referring to my posts (if not, then name the guys that you are attacking):

How to define chemistry isn't something that determines a man's ability in having relationships, or keeping them, I don't even see how your "armchair shrink" trolling is even related to the topic.

It's not a factor that makes one better or worse in having/keeping a relationship.

For example, hurtloam defines Chemistry probably in the way you agree with, yet she doesn't have a bf and having a hard time to get one.

So ....please stop parroting this BS and attempts to put down guys every time you see males' opinions that you don't agree with.

For the record, I have a gf since.....last november.

1Biggles1 wrote:
^+1


and you too.

And the butt-hurt begins 8)



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,103
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

26 Jul 2017, 2:50 pm

This_Amoeba wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
This_Amoeba wrote:
Reading some of these responses, I am not surprised some of these men have a hard time finding and keeping girlfriends :lol:


In case you are referring to my posts (if not, then name the guys that you are attacking):

How to define chemistry isn't something that determines a man's ability in having relationships, or keeping them, I don't even see how your "armchair shrink" trolling is even related to the topic.

It's not a factor that makes one better or worse in having/keeping a relationship.

For example, hurtloam defines Chemistry probably in the way you agree with, yet she doesn't have a bf and having a hard time to get one.

So ....please stop parroting this BS and attempts to put down guys every time you see males' opinions that you don't agree with.

For the record, I have a gf since.....last november.

1Biggles1 wrote:
^+1


and you too.

And the butt-hurt begins 8)


It begins so with you, ça se voit. ;)



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

26 Jul 2017, 2:54 pm

These are good questions.

Quote:
Does the Whatsapp guy arouse you sexually?

Yes
Quote:
Compare these two questions:

- What are the reasons that don't make you sexually attracted to the whatsapp guy?

Nice figure, nice ass, nice eyes. He's really clever and very interesting. He comes out with some amazing things at times. Cute giggle too.

Quote:
- What are the reasons that make you not to have a chemistry with the whatsapp guy?

I don't enjoy spending time with him. At first I did because he was interesting, but he makes me feel uncomfortable.

Say I compare him to another guy I know. That guy makes me feel comfortable. He makes me feel like he wants to talk to me. We talk easily. We have chemistry for sure.

Even when WhatsApp guy wants to talk to me I feel like he's talking down to me. Like he doesn't really respect me. He makes me defensive. Also, even though he's interesting he does go on a bit. He's arrogant. He likes the sound of his own voice. I feel like he doesn't engage me in conversation, he just talks at me.

It's like walking into the wind. You know that feeling. It's not the worst thing ever, but you'd rather it wasn't windy.

WhatsApp guy is difficult. I don't know why. He's like a yappy dog. Sometimes cuddly, but often overly excitable and annoying.

Surely everyone has been attracted to someone they don't really like or respect.

Im not saying chemistry has no sexual component. Im saying that's not All it is.



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

26 Jul 2017, 2:55 pm

I read the first question as a positive for some reason. Why wouldn't I be sexually attracted to him. Ha



Last edited by hurtloam on 26 Jul 2017, 3:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

26 Jul 2017, 2:58 pm

ZachGoodwin wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
But you guys are just so dismissive of how women actually feel. It's just so bitter and nasty.


I'm not dismissive of how women feel. Sure, some of what I say sounds aloof to some people, but I doubt that those people were in my shoes.


Yes. I haven't wanted to debate a thing with you. It's more the assumptions about what women think and feel that I want to correct.

Just say hello. Woman here. Please listen. I would love it if more women felt comfortable participating in this section of the forum.