SilverStar wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
It is possible, by the way, that he is confused about his own feelings. Feelings and situations do change, as well. Let him say that, if that is the case. Sometimes we have to own what we have before trying to put a name on it.
It is possible, but in most cases, people know right away if they are romantically interested in someone, or not...even people with AS.
I've seen it change too often to put the word "most" on it. Love can come from a lot of different foundations; it doesn't always have to be lust (which is what initial attraction usually is, in my opinion).
I disagree with you on that. People categorize other people within the first few moments of meeting them (whether they are fully conscious of it, or not). With guys, some of the categories are: physically attractive, dateable, just friends, not interested, or they are undecided. Love
usually comes later, and it isn't always romantic. The only time it ever "changes", is when they were undecided (50% interest level), which means the other person did something to increase their interest level (this could be changing physical appearance, love, increase in confidence, etc.). Romantic interest just doesn't appear out of nowhere...if it happens, there was always something there to begin with.
Fact remains I've known people who have moved on to marry and be happy with someone they initially felt (and stated) they were not romantically attracted to.
People are not carbon copies, and emotions can involve a lot of complex layers. Not to mention, one heck of a lot of people confuse lust with attraction and love, having no idea at all what love is supposed to feel like, and allowing themselves to completely misunderstand their own feelings. Some people wrongly think love is supposed to hurt, for example. Whatever the explanation is, whether it be someone finally learning what their feelings actually mean, or someone's feelings changing over time, facts are still facts: people who claimed they weren't attracted later realized they were.
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
06 Sep 2017, 3:40 pm
