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Woman admits being a "creep" as a guy is all about looks

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RetroGamer87
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31 Oct 2017, 7:24 am

MarissaKay wrote:
Sometime World wrote:
And the bar for men to be considered attractive in appearance is much higher than that of a woman.


:lol: That's adorable.


I get it. It's harder for you because you have to lose weight to be attractive. It's the same for men. I was visibly overweight and then I lost a lot of weight and got a stressful (but higher paying job). Afterwards I got more dates. Women liked the thinner me. So the requirement to not be overweight applies to both men and women.

The requirement to have a good job is difficult. Yes my job is stressful but it's worth it for me because I get ten times more interest from women than I did back when I was working part time.

It's worth it for me but it was still a significant sacrifice for me. I'm not saying women should be attracted to unemployed guys, just that keeping that job is a lot harder than keeping your keeping your legs and armpits shaved and yes, a full-time job is a requirement for men to be attractive.

Yes I'm sure there are a few women who don't mind unemployed guys just as there are a few men who have a fat fetish but the majority of women like full-time employed guys like the majority of men like women who aren't overweight.

Keeping that job so I can be attractive to women is a sacrifice I'm willing to make but it requires a nontrivial amount of effort. So which is harder? conforming to female beauty standards or working full-time?


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OutsideView
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31 Oct 2017, 7:28 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
So which is harder? conforming to female beauty standards or working full-time?

But modern women are expected to conform to beauty standards, hold down a job and raise a family.


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31 Oct 2017, 7:33 am

OutsideView wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
So which is harder? conforming to female beauty standards or working full-time?

But modern women are expected to conform to beauty standards, hold down a job and raise a family.


I've never seen a woman get rejected or shamed for being unemployed.



MarissaKay
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31 Oct 2017, 7:36 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

I get it. It's harder for you because you have to lose weight to be attractive. It's the same for men. I was visibly overweight and then I lost a lot of weight and got a stressful (but higher paying job). Afterwards I got more dates. Women liked the thinner me. So the requirement to not be overweight applies to both men and women.

The requirement to have a good job is difficult. Yes my job is stressful but it's worth it for me because I get ten times more interest from women than I did back when I was working part time.

It's worth it for me but it was still a significant sacrifice for me. I'm not saying women should be attracted to unemployed guys, just that keeping that job is a lot harder than keeping your keeping your legs and armpits shaved and yes, a full-time job is a requirement for men to be attractive.

Yes I'm sure there are a few women who don't mind unemployed guys just as there are a few men who have a fat fetish but the majority of women like full-time employed guys like the majority of men like women who aren't overweight.

Keeping that job so I can be attractive to women is a sacrifice I'm willing to make but it requires a nontrivial amount of effort. So which is harder? conforming to female beauty standards or working full-time?


Weirdly enough, I've actually gotten more attention from guys now that I'm overweight than I ever did back when I was skinny. Personally, I think it has something to do with the way I view myself as a person: I'm certainly not perfect, but I'm at a point where I actually like who I am as an individual.

I don't personally see how a guy having a full-time job would be something required to be attractive. This, of course, is just from my admittedly limited perspective. I'm not a guy, so it's not something I can relate to firsthand. Several of my married female friends are the breadwinners of the family. One of my best friends is actually married to someone who's never held a full-time job for very long because of a disability.



Last edited by MarissaKay on 31 Oct 2017, 7:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

RetroGamer87
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31 Oct 2017, 7:40 am

OutsideView wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
So which is harder? conforming to female beauty standards or working full-time?

But modern women are expected to conform to beauty standards, hold down a job and raise a family.


I actually prefer it when women don't want to raise a family. A lot of the time it's the woman who wants kids, not the man.


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31 Oct 2017, 7:44 am

I can't really say since I didn't want kids until I met my husband. It's something he's wanted very much all of his life though.


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31 Oct 2017, 7:47 am

MarissaKay wrote:
I don't personally see how a guy having a full-time job would be something required to be attractive. This, of course, is just from my admittedly limited perspective. I'm not a guy, so it's not something I can relate to firsthand.

Well that's the smartest thing anyone on this thread has said so far. You don't know what it's like to be a man and I don't know what it's like to be a woman.

Maybe this argument to see which sex has it harder (which I'll admit, I participated in), if futile because none of us have any personal experience at being the opposite sex.

I think when women say that women have it harder, they're ignoring or unaware of problems men face.

I think when men say that men have it harder, they're ignoring or unaware of problems women face.

I've read feminist articles that totally ignored problems men face and act like all men have it easy. I've also read MRA articles that totally ignored problems women face and act like all women have it easy.

It's because both sides have never been the other sex for a day so they're totally aware of the problems faced by the other sex. Because they're unaware, they assume problems are nonexistent for the other sex.

Both sides are guilty of cherry picking and confirmation bias.


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31 Oct 2017, 7:53 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
MarissaKay wrote:
I don't personally see how a guy having a full-time job would be something required to be attractive. This, of course, is just from my admittedly limited perspective. I'm not a guy, so it's not something I can relate to firsthand.

Well that's the smartest thing anyone on this thread has said so far. You don't know what it's like to be a man and I don't know what it's like to be a woman.

Maybe this argument to see which sex has it harder (which I'll admit, I participated in), if futile because none of us have any personal experience at being the opposite sex.

I think when women say that women have it harder, they're ignoring or unaware of problems men face.

I think when men say that men have it harder, they're ignoring or unaware of problems women face.

I've read feminist articles that totally ignored problems men face and act like all men have it easy. I've also read MRA articles that totally ignored problems women face and act like all women have it easy.

It's because both sides have never been the other sex for a day so they're totally aware of the problems faced by the other sex. Because they're unaware they assume problems are nonexistent for the other sex.

Both sides are guilty of cherry picking and confirmation bias.


I can still talk about MY experience as a man, and how women have responded to me in different contexts. Saying women are not attracted to money is bull.



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31 Oct 2017, 7:53 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Well that's the smartest thing anyone on this thread has said so far. You don't know what it's like to be a man and I don't know what it's like to be a woman.

Maybe this argument to see which sex has it harder (which I'll admit, I participated in), if futile because none of us have any personal experience at being the opposite sex.

I think when women say that women have it harder, they're ignoring or unaware of problems men face.

I think when men say that men have it harder, they're ignoring or unaware of problems women face.

I've read feminist articles that totally ignored problems men face and act like all men have it easy. I've also read MRA articles that totally ignored problems women face and act like all women have it easy.

It's because both sides have never been the other sex for a day so they're totally aware of the problems faced by the other sex. Because they're unaware they assume problems are nonexistent for the other sex.

Both sides are guilty of cherry picking and confirmation bias.


I can 100% agree with this analysis. I'll also admit that I participated in this argument.



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31 Oct 2017, 7:58 am

Can I join in with the agreement? I kept thinking it's really interesting to hear men's persective on the things they find hard that I don't understand but apparently I'm feeling argumentative today :wink:


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31 Oct 2017, 8:04 am

OutsideView wrote:
Can I join in with the agreement? I kept thinking it's really interesting to hear men's persective on the things they find hard that I don't understand but apparently I'm feeling argumentative today :wink:


I'm genuinely interested in your perspective. :) You said you were non-binary, right? If not, forgive me because I haven't had any sleep today. I've really been enjoying your comments!



RetroGamer87
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31 Oct 2017, 8:15 am

Hey! Don't you folks know that L&D is supposed to be a never ending battle of the sexes?

Just kidding. It's nice to see people get along for once.


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31 Oct 2017, 8:20 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Hey! Don't you folks know that L&D is supposed to be a never ending battle of the sexes?

Just kidding. It's nice to see people get along for once.


You literally made me laugh out loud (in a good way, of course) with this comment. Well done! :D



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31 Oct 2017, 8:28 am

Why does this not surprise me?


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31 Oct 2017, 8:51 am

MarissaKay wrote:
I'm genuinely interested in your perspective. :) You said you were non-binary, right? If not, forgive me because I haven't had any sleep today. I've really been enjoying your comments!

Thanks and yes, I don't see myself as male or female but because of biology I'm generally put in the "woman" box by everyone else. Perhaps with me it's just an autistic thing though.
Nonbinary = don't identify with male or female
Autistic = don't identify with *anyone* ha ha ha :lol:


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MarissaKay
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31 Oct 2017, 9:08 am

OutsideView wrote:
Thanks and yes, I don't see myself as male or female but because of biology I'm generally put in the "woman" box by everyone else. Perhaps with me it's just an autistic thing though.
Nonbinary = don't identify with male or female
Autistic = don't identify with *anyone* ha ha ha :lol:


I've known a couple of others on the spectrum who were also nonbinary or identified as both male and female, so it'd be interesting if that's more common for autistic people than for Neurotypicals. Maybe someone will do a study on it someday. :)

I definitely believe that gender and biology are two completely separate things. A few sites and forums are allowing people to select "other" as a gender when they make an account now, which I think is pretty considerate and cool.