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What my mind always tells me

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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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05 Dec 2017, 2:54 pm

Yes, being rude and insulting is a much better strategy to get women, and certainly won't turn you into an abusive jerk that ends up attracting only women with emotional issues and histories of trauma who have been familiarized with relationships through abuse and so that is all they know to look for. Those are the perfect prey, excuse me I mean targets, for the attentions of rude and insulting guys and will be naturally drawn to you if you treat them with contempt to create "attraction". Women advising you to be nice and kind to them are obviously stupid, because that will only lead to you attracting psychologically healthy women who value themselves and don't tolerate abuse, and who wants to attract those types? :lol: :lol:

This forum and possibly the Politics Forum should be amalgamated and renamed the Comedy Forum, because there is some funny stuff posted in here pretty regularly. It's certainly a regular source of giggles and the occasional belly laugh for me. Thanks for proving that autistic people can master the art of humour, even if unintentionally! :D



Closet Genious
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05 Dec 2017, 3:35 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Yes, being rude and insulting is a much better strategy to get women, and certainly won't turn you into an abusive jerk that ends up attracting only women with emotional issues and histories of trauma who have been familiarized with relationships through abuse and so that is all they know to look for. Those are the perfect prey, excuse me I mean targets, for the attentions of rude and insulting guys and will be naturally drawn to you if you treat them with contempt to create "attraction". Women advising you to be nice and kind to them are obviously stupid, because that will only lead to you attracting psychologically healthy women who value themselves and don't tolerate abuse, and who wants to attract those types? :lol: :lol:

This forum and possibly the Politics Forum should be amalgamated and renamed the Comedy Forum, because there is some funny stuff posted in here pretty regularly. It's certainly a regular source of giggles and the occasional belly laugh for me. Thanks for proving that autistic people can master the art of humour, even if unintentionally! :D


You're putting words in my mouth. I never said that one shouldn't be nice, I am just saying that simply being nice is not what creates attraction.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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05 Dec 2017, 3:50 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Yes, being rude and insulting is a much better strategy to get women, and certainly won't turn you into an abusive jerk that ends up attracting only women with emotional issues and histories of trauma who have been familiarized with relationships through abuse and so that is all they know to look for. Those are the perfect prey, excuse me I mean targets, for the attentions of rude and insulting guys and will be naturally drawn to you if you treat them with contempt to create "attraction". Women advising you to be nice and kind to them are obviously stupid, because that will only lead to you attracting psychologically healthy women who value themselves and don't tolerate abuse, and who wants to attract those types? :lol: :lol:

This forum and possibly the Politics Forum should be amalgamated and renamed the Comedy Forum, because there is some funny stuff posted in here pretty regularly. It's certainly a regular source of giggles and the occasional belly laugh for me. Thanks for proving that autistic people can master the art of humour, even if unintentionally! :D


You're putting words in my mouth. I never said that one shouldn't be nice, I am just saying that simply being nice is not what creates attraction.


You are promoting PUA tactics which advise being abusive and domineering to "create attraction" (using the same kind of language here that you read on PUA forums is a giveaway), but you are afraid to be completely honest about that because you know that promoting intentionally being abusive to "get women" would get you banned, so you are implying what you can't say outright. You are intentionally vague in expressing your sexist ideas about women because you know they cause you problems with other people, you have already admitted this several times.



Closet Genious
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05 Dec 2017, 5:12 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Yes, being rude and insulting is a much better strategy to get women, and certainly won't turn you into an abusive jerk that ends up attracting only women with emotional issues and histories of trauma who have been familiarized with relationships through abuse and so that is all they know to look for. Those are the perfect prey, excuse me I mean targets, for the attentions of rude and insulting guys and will be naturally drawn to you if you treat them with contempt to create "attraction". Women advising you to be nice and kind to them are obviously stupid, because that will only lead to you attracting psychologically healthy women who value themselves and don't tolerate abuse, and who wants to attract those types? :lol: :lol:

This forum and possibly the Politics Forum should be amalgamated and renamed the Comedy Forum, because there is some funny stuff posted in here pretty regularly. It's certainly a regular source of giggles and the occasional belly laugh for me. Thanks for proving that autistic people can master the art of humour, even if unintentionally! :D


You're putting words in my mouth. I never said that one shouldn't be nice, I am just saying that simply being nice is not what creates attraction.


You are promoting PUA tactics which advise being abusive and domineering to "create attraction" (using the same kind of language here that you read on PUA forums is a giveaway), but you are afraid to be completely honest about that because you know that promoting intentionally being abusive to "get women" would get you banned, so you are implying what you can't say outright. You are intentionally vague in expressing your sexist ideas about women because you know they cause you problems with other people, you have already admitted this several times.


Most of the PUAs are idiots, but at the end of the day, they wouldn't promote what they do, if it didn't actually work.

But my original point was simply that kissing ass won't get guys anywhere, and then you could say:"kissing ass is not the same as being nice", and you know what? You would be 100% correct. But that's how these lonely men interpret the phrase "being nice to women". Some of these men act in a way that makes me want to slap them. They're almost like servants. All I'm promoting is that these men should try to find some respect for themselves first.



ZachGoodwin
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05 Dec 2017, 5:44 pm

Edited



Last edited by ZachGoodwin on 05 Dec 2017, 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Closet Genious
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05 Dec 2017, 6:31 pm

ZachGoodwin wrote:
Closet Genius, you aren't some socializing mastermind when you read a lot of advice. Most people who are good at socializing have learned it really from having to socialize most of their life. It's like if I gave you a baseball bat now would you know how to play baseball right away? Even if I gave you a crap ton of advice on how to play baseball, you would still fail at it. When you have to hit a ball when it is your turn to hit it, you'll stand there clueless not knowing how to hit the ball but still thinking of all of the advice you have to use or you'd try to copy other people. Balls come by and you are struck out. You learn by doing.

Being nice, just being yourself, and many others allows you to develop the beautiful personality you can have that people would love to be around with. If you try to copy everyone you just come off as a fake. That beautiful personality that would have been worked on with hard work and honesty is what makes you attractive.

Develop your personality to make it beautiful to people by being yourself, so you won't be a fake.

Even if your personality is being a fake, then be the most honest and nice fake there is.


I don't disagree that we learn by doing, but I think that's a different point entirely.

My point is, for others to value you, you have to value yourself first. A guy who just kisses ass all the time is ultimately repulsive to women.

In regards to being fake, that's a very deep philosphical question, when are we real, when are we fake? I would argue 99% of people are "fake" 99% of the time, that's just the nature of human beings. We say things we don't actually believe to get approval from others. That's actually the exact thing I am arguing against. Stop kissing ass to get others to like you.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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05 Dec 2017, 9:32 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Yes, being rude and insulting is a much better strategy to get women, and certainly won't turn you into an abusive jerk that ends up attracting only women with emotional issues and histories of trauma who have been familiarized with relationships through abuse and so that is all they know to look for. Those are the perfect prey, excuse me I mean targets, for the attentions of rude and insulting guys and will be naturally drawn to you if you treat them with contempt to create "attraction". Women advising you to be nice and kind to them are obviously stupid, because that will only lead to you attracting psychologically healthy women who value themselves and don't tolerate abuse, and who wants to attract those types? :lol: :lol:

This forum and possibly the Politics Forum should be amalgamated and renamed the Comedy Forum, because there is some funny stuff posted in here pretty regularly. It's certainly a regular source of giggles and the occasional belly laugh for me. Thanks for proving that autistic people can master the art of humour, even if unintentionally! :D


You're putting words in my mouth. I never said that one shouldn't be nice, I am just saying that simply being nice is not what creates attraction.


You are promoting PUA tactics which advise being abusive and domineering to "create attraction" (using the same kind of language here that you read on PUA forums is a giveaway), but you are afraid to be completely honest about that because you know that promoting intentionally being abusive to "get women" would get you banned, so you are implying what you can't say outright. You are intentionally vague in expressing your sexist ideas about women because you know they cause you problems with other people, you have already admitted this several times.


Most of the PUAs are idiots, but at the end of the day, they wouldn't promote what they do, if it didn't actually work.

But my original point was simply that kissing ass won't get guys anywhere, and then you could say:"kissing ass is not the same as being nice", and you know what? You would be 100% correct. But that's how these lonely men interpret the phrase "being nice to women". Some of these men act in a way that makes me want to slap them. They're almost like servants. All I'm promoting is that these men should try to find some respect for themselves first.


Yes, being abusive and domineering will attract people to you who are used to being abused and dominated--people who have been psychologically "broken in" by previous abusers. In that way PUA tactics are "effective". That doesn't in any way excuse being abusive, just because those people you are trying to attract are women. You say you are promoting self-respect in men, but what you are truly promoting is disrespecting women in the hopes of trapping one that is psychologically predisposed to put up with abuse. It's pretty abhorrent.



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05 Dec 2017, 10:08 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Yes, being abusive and domineering will attract people to you who are used to being abused and dominated--people who have been psychologically "broken in" by previous abusers. In that way PUA tactics are "effective". That doesn't in any way excuse being abusive, just because those people you are trying to attract are women. You say you are promoting self-respect in men, but what you are truly promoting is disrespecting women in the hopes of trapping one that is psychologically predisposed to put up with abuse. It's pretty abhorrent.


I don't understand where this idea that PUA is "abusive" comes from. It just guys that try to explain the social dinamics of dating and ways to act to keep the girls attention. Nothing more than that. I don't understand what's so abusive in that.

Most of the PUA guys are just selling you content that has been said by others a million times and try to monetize it and take advantage of the tons of insecure and inexperencied guys that exist today. Most of the PUA learners think of themselves as womanizers when they aren't...

I don't have a very good opinion of PUA's but to say that all what they preach is untrue or not effective is BS. They say many things that are quite true. And dominant men are the most attractive for the vast majority of women and no... in no way all the women that they attract are broken.



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05 Dec 2017, 10:09 pm

My bad thoughts are the products of growing up being around rough people, confusion brought on by being on the spectrum, and a toxic family environment. They can't be isolated to a specific gender, just people in general.

My therapist has helped me see that there is a difference between desiring a relationship and obsessing over one. I feel as if I've confused the two for a long time now.



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05 Dec 2017, 10:24 pm

Have you considered doing written Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to refute these thoughts with logical arguments?

They all read like True Thoughts I'd have once written down, just like that, but then refuted below - as someone did early on in the thread.

It's a valuable tool. I haven't written down and refuted thoughts like these for years, but when I have an intrusive negative thought, I'm able to use the same set of tools to mentally process & refute the thought in my head and move on rather than continue to think the thought.


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05 Dec 2017, 10:44 pm

WallKornexa wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Yes, being abusive and domineering will attract people to you who are used to being abused and dominated--people who have been psychologically "broken in" by previous abusers. In that way PUA tactics are "effective". That doesn't in any way excuse being abusive, just because those people you are trying to attract are women. You say you are promoting self-respect in men, but what you are truly promoting is disrespecting women in the hopes of trapping one that is psychologically predisposed to put up with abuse. It's pretty abhorrent.


I don't understand where this idea that PUA is "abusive" comes from. It just guys that try to explain the social dinamics of dating and ways to act to keep the girls attention. Nothing more than that. I don't understand what's so abusive in that.

Most of the PUA guys are just selling you content that has been said by others a million times and try to monetize it and take advantage of the tons of insecure and inexperencied guys that exist today. Most of the PUA learners think of themselves as womanizers when they aren't...

I don't have a very good opinion of PUA's but to say that all what they preach is untrue or not effective is BS. They say many things that are quite true. And dominant men are the most attractive for the vast majority of women and no... in no way all the women that they attract are broken.

Excellent points. I don’t do PUA. But they are dead on with their psychology. Quite a few of their tactics are effective because they are based on an elegant analytical approach. All you need to make it work is self-confidence and consistency.

What I dislike about it is that in practice it is deliberately manipulative, has a low regard for women (objectification), and is wide open for misinterpretation. No, one need not assume a PUA is abusive. But a naive man or a sociopath might be encouraged to make that kind of leap in judgment, and that’s certainly not safe for women.

Defo use the psychology. Understand what it is people want. Then deliver on it. You don’t need to work on your “game” to get it.



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05 Dec 2017, 10:53 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Yes, being rude and insulting is a much better strategy to get women, and certainly won't turn you into an abusive jerk that ends up attracting only women with emotional issues and histories of trauma who have been familiarized with relationships through abuse and so that is all they know to look for. Those are the perfect prey, excuse me I mean targets, for the attentions of rude and insulting guys and will be naturally drawn to you if you treat them with contempt to create "attraction". Women advising you to be nice and kind to them are obviously stupid, because that will only lead to you attracting psychologically healthy women who value themselves and don't tolerate abuse, and who wants to attract those types? :lol: :lol:

This forum and possibly the Politics Forum should be amalgamated and renamed the Comedy Forum, because there is some funny stuff posted in here pretty regularly. It's certainly a regular source of giggles and the occasional belly laugh for me. Thanks for proving that autistic people can master the art of humour, even if unintentionally! :D


You're putting words in my mouth. I never said that one shouldn't be nice, I am just saying that simply being nice is not what creates attraction.


You are promoting PUA tactics which advise being abusive and domineering to "create attraction" (using the same kind of language here that you read on PUA forums is a giveaway), but you are afraid to be completely honest about that because you know that promoting intentionally being abusive to "get women" would get you banned, so you are implying what you can't say outright. You are intentionally vague in expressing your sexist ideas about women because you know they cause you problems with other people, you have already admitted this several times.


Most of the PUAs are idiots, but at the end of the day, they wouldn't promote what they do, if it didn't actually work.

But my original point was simply that kissing ass won't get guys anywhere, and then you could say:"kissing ass is not the same as being nice", and you know what? You would be 100% correct. But that's how these lonely men interpret the phrase "being nice to women". Some of these men act in a way that makes me want to slap them. They're almost like servants. All I'm promoting is that these men should try to find some respect for themselves first.


Yes, being abusive and domineering will attract people to you who are used to being abused and dominated--people who have been psychologically "broken in" by previous abusers. In that way PUA tactics are "effective". That doesn't in any way excuse being abusive, just because those people you are trying to attract are women. You say you are promoting self-respect in men, but what you are truly promoting is disrespecting women in the hopes of trapping one that is psychologically predisposed to put up with abuse. It's pretty abhorrent.


You certainly love putting words in peoples mouths.

You are just bitter because you're a middle aged woman who made extremely poor choices on who to date in the past, and instead of taking responsibility for those choices, you instead start pointing fingers at all men like a little child. And now you want everyone to kiss your ass because you struggle to get attention the way you used to.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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05 Dec 2017, 11:06 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
You certainly love putting words in peoples mouths.

You are just bitter because you're a middle aged woman who made extremely poor choices on who to date in the past, and instead of taking responsibility for those choices, you instead start pointing fingers at all men like a little child. And now you want everyone to kiss your ass because you struggle to get attention the way you used to.


I was discussing the ideas you were promoting, and you had to go and get personally insulting. That's not how civilized debate works. You're male and supposedly more logical and less emotional than me according to guys like you, so I shouldn't need to point this out to you.



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05 Dec 2017, 11:18 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
You certainly love putting words in peoples mouths.

You are just bitter because you're a middle aged woman who made extremely poor choices on who to date in the past, and instead of taking responsibility for those choices, you instead start pointing fingers at all men like a little child. And now you want everyone to kiss your ass because you struggle to get attention the way you used to.


I was discussing the ideas you were promoting, and you had to go and get personally insulting. That's not how civilized debate works. You're male and supposedly more logical and less emotional than me according to guys like you, so I shouldn't need to point this out to you.


You said I was promoting being abusive. You were in fact not responding, you were putting words in my mouth.
You were not civilized to begin with, and you're almost twice my age. Jesus.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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06 Dec 2017, 12:52 am

PUAs encourage men to do things like "negging", which is looking for things a woman might be insecure about and then insulting her about those things to make her feel vulnerable and worthless and more likely to be responsive to attention from men to "shore up their self-esteem", thinking this will make them more receptive to sexual advances. And for women who are used to being abused, this tactic would likely be "effective" in emotionally manipulating them because they are vulnerable to that kind of manipulation.

PUAs also advise being controlling and domineering for similar reasons, to prompt insecurity in the woman. This tactic is designed to be effective on women who already have low self-esteem. It is designed to capitalize on emotionally damaged women because they are easier to manipulate. How is this not abusive? If you promote these kinds of tactics based on emotional manipulation of the psychologically vulnerable, then you are promoting abuse.



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06 Dec 2017, 12:56 am

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
PUAs encourage men to do things like "negging", which is looking for things a woman might be insecure about and then insulting her about those things to make her feel vulnerable and worthless and more likely to be responsive to attention from men to "shore up their self-esteem", thinking this will make them more receptive to sexual advances. And for women who are used to being abused, this tactic would likely be "effective" in emotionally manipulating them because they are vulnerable to that kind of manipulation.

PUAs also advise being controlling and domineering for similar reasons, to prompt insecurity in the woman. This tactic is designed to be effective on women who already have low self-esteem. It is designed to capitalize on emotionally damaged women because they are easier to manipulate. How is this not abusive? If you promote these kinds of tactics based on emotional manipulation of the psychologically vulnerable, then you are promoting abuse.


She makes a lot of sense.