During a meltdown I hit my gf..

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I have people in my family with somehow similar issues - they can be very agresive when melt down. And many adults make it worse by fighting back or trying to persuade them.
I was quick to learn that when the agression was ignored, they quickly calmed down and apologized.
I don't know if they were all autistic or not. Well, they all have some additional ASD traits... so maybe some ASD men have this.
I hope you find someone able to learn this.

This is a tricky situation now that she purposely bruised her arm and told her parents you did it.

Up until that point, No, IMO you were not in the wrong At All. You told her, repeatedly, what you needed. She also knows how you are from experience. Even at the point where you struck her, technically someone may find fault in that, but I do not. She provoked you & pushed and pushed and pushed until you snapped - Her Fault - especially since you told her over and over you needed space AND she knows how you are and what's likely to happen if she persists.

Reminds me of fights with my siblings as a kid when I'd get so fired up and ask one of them over and Over and OVER to leave me alone and they'd just keep yapping in my face then I'd flat out say "I don't want to fight! I don't want to hit you! Get away from me and just stop it!" and then the words kept coming and they'd be in my face until.. *SMACK* & off they ran to tell mom & dad. So, I can relate. Fortunately for me in that instance I was believed and our parents may have even Heard me saying to leave me alone, that I didn't want to hit anyone etc. I didn't get in trouble, the other got told to listen when told to leave someone alone or suffer getting hit.

Do you have any witnesses? Anyone who could have seen you trying to put space between you and her? Anyone who could have heard you asking her to leave you alone and for space so that you could calm down?

Maybe premature and overkill, but do you have an official diagnosis & doctor that could sign off on your version of events as being very typical of Autistic behaviour? That you did everything within your reasonable ability to control yourself and the situation and it was her that persisted and provoked you until you snapped? That could be helpful if this gets messy.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Just speaking from my own experience, I've known women who purposely get in men's faces and try to goad them into hitting them.

I consider this a form of manipulation/emotional abuse.

You're right to want to be as far away from her as possible.

^^ Yes. This is definitely a thing. Red red flag, get far far away. And stay far away.

Let’s be real, we all know the OP is gonna lose and be messed because he is a man, and she is a woman.

They won’t believe his side of the story at all.

Moral of the story, a man must not hit a woman no matter what, even in self defense situation, a man should try to avoid hitting a woman unless his life is threatened.