feeling rejected by wife

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Most people masturbate, so if you become "one" with your partner, then you (plural) should masturbate as 'one' body - aka having sex.




I literally paused for 3 minutes reading this sentence, trying to compute the gender-based discrimination that it entails, shouldn't love and respect be mutual? Why women should X and men should Y?

Are you suggesting that wives shouldn't necessarily love their husbands? wtf?

The_Face_Of_Boo,

Romanticism is fictional and over-sentimental. It's all a show by people for you to not feel depressed and lonely. I don't believe any of it anymore. Good luck convincing me it exists Earth.

So by Kristaok's logic and your logic, you're implying that:

Men love women, women love kids.


...and kids love cats.












.... and cats love no one.

Wow, this area of the forum is always so extreme, LOL. Geez.

I guess I'm sorta adding to that, but only out of concern. Do you think there's a possibility your wife is having an affair? If you set aside that concern, it does seem like there's some emotional distance between you and your wife. Just to remove one suggestion, women tend to have a higher sex drive in their 40's than at other points in their life.

Maybe she doesn't feel appreciated, or she feels taken for granted. Have the both of you been on a proper date in awhile? You need to have a date with her like boyfriend and girlfriend and court each other. Have some flowers delivered to your home. Play the same music you first danced to. Work for it. It's not like you'll always need to do this. She just needs to know that you love her, not just that you want a physical relationship with her.

Haha! You’re terrible!

I always read that part of the Bible to mean precisely that. I’d be interested to know in what historical and cultural context women openly disrespected their husbands and husbands mistreated wives.

No, women very much do harbor animosity towards men and men still behave contemptuously towards women even now. I think “respect...and...love” is best summarized as “treat each other with human decency.” Why NOT make love and respect mutual? That part of the Bible has, sadly, been deliberately misinterpreted.

You sound like someone who would have to fap because of (forever alone) lol.

And you sound like a wife whom her husband will fap forever alone because his wife's libido is zero (you) and don't like to have sex with him. lol

As for me, I am having sex regularly - I just made out + had sex with my girlfriend yesterday, From 5 to 10 pm straight. And she loves it and she initiates it every time.

I feel sorry for your hubby.

I don't believe in your Bible.

This. Mature women don’t stand for that crap.

No, they definitely exist, I've seen them in shops and things.

She is so very stressed out by everything; work, money...

I caught her gaslighting me last week.

See, when I request intimacy, she'll refuse on the grounds that I always want to take it further.

BUT

when we're getting all hot and heavy AND when I make it clear that I probably can't tonight because of a (legit) tension headache, she insisted upon "taking it further".

So it's always been HER who's been wanting to take it too far!

For years, I kept trying to convince her that I can control myself and that being physical doesn't have to end in sex.

I've been gaslighted by my wife. I have to digest that for a while.

She's not been keen on being physical much in 10+ years.

I don't think she's having an affair. Barely has any time to. That and her hygiene isn't that great.

I reject the notion she's not in love with me anymore. I know she is and to suggest she isn't, not knowing any details beyond a paragraph, is deplorable.

We can't go to counseling because her insurance won't cover it.
I'm the one who's the romantic one, trust me. I'm the one who suggests going out on a date, snuggling, going out for breakfast on a day she doesn't have to go into work until later.

She recoils at my touch. She feels like it's a chore, like I'm asking too much.

I'm a damn good lover. Just wish she'd be closer to my level, y'know?

Like a chore... this sounds eerily familiar.

Actually, my wife went through that for the past several years, really since my daughter was born (she’s 9). She has outright told me that climaxing is a lot of work on top of everything else she had to do during the day—job, housework, kids, me... I eventually just learned to leave her alone. There’s a reason why women “fake it.”

I’m telling you, if it takes her taking the initiative, learn to be content with that. You won’t have to worry about her rejecting you that way.

To be clear: I love my wife and harbor no resentment towards her. I don’t feel she’s purposefully punishing me or withholding. She’s just exhausted at the end of the day. It’s not her fault. But I can’t be blamed for how I feel about it, either. I mostly keep that to myself because bringing it up is pointless. I’m not leaving her, not cheating on her. I generally just throw myself into little work and projects to keep my mind off it. And if things work out...YAY!! !

My hypothesis is, she is stressed, needs help managing her responsibilities and wants you telepathically know what she needs you to do, BUT she is also a control freak and gate keeps because of it, and this need to control is aggravated by the stress she is under. She wants to manage things, but can't and needs someone to step in and manage them for her.

At least that is my hypothesis.

I like this line of thinking!

Of course, it shouldn't have to be telepathic. I should just be able to see what needs doing and do it.