18 Mar 2018, 12:53 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,117
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
18 Mar 2018, 1:45 pm
21 Mar 2018, 2:35 pm
georgewilson wrote:
Not sure if people still replying, but seems a bust. At least unless I ever encounter her elsewhere. Was in the line next to her, me getting my groceries on the conveyor while she handled the line next to me, literally feet away. She turned around at one point, said hello very nicely when I called her by name, but didn't seem to respond with much but a polite nod when I said (facepalm) I was swamped the Sunday she'd asked me about if I was free. Somebody else started coming in with their groceries, but the problem is there's no time and no way to follow up without being out of line. She didn't call me by name, and as someone not being served by her it was weird to introduce myself. I'm afraid to message after the faux pas, and ultimately should move on.
I'm not trying not to lose confidence just because I might misinterpret a friendly gesture, since it feels almost like it "doesn't count" in the "people who've expressed affirmation of my attractiveness" basket. I really feel there's a lot of things going for me, my intelligence, my decent network of acquaintances that at least creates the appearance of a healthy friendship group on social media (though with no reality behind it unless people's memories are nice and charitable and not "he's a tard"), my walking habit (though I should exercise more so it's less tiring), my interest in music, and probably most of all my ability to speak French and Spanish, at least as an icebreaker. I don't feel entitled or anything, but do get the feeling some of my colleagues, looking at the dating scene in this area, would consider me a decent, hard-working, respectful guy. I'm going to network more, really try to make both genders of friends if possible, just have to get out enough to not let things pass me by even if communication is hard. Wish I could practice before going out and doing it with people other than my mother, but I'm a 29-year-old man and realize I don't have the luxuries with nobody hanging out in meatspace.
I'm not trying not to lose confidence just because I might misinterpret a friendly gesture, since it feels almost like it "doesn't count" in the "people who've expressed affirmation of my attractiveness" basket. I really feel there's a lot of things going for me, my intelligence, my decent network of acquaintances that at least creates the appearance of a healthy friendship group on social media (though with no reality behind it unless people's memories are nice and charitable and not "he's a tard"), my walking habit (though I should exercise more so it's less tiring), my interest in music, and probably most of all my ability to speak French and Spanish, at least as an icebreaker. I don't feel entitled or anything, but do get the feeling some of my colleagues, looking at the dating scene in this area, would consider me a decent, hard-working, respectful guy. I'm going to network more, really try to make both genders of friends if possible, just have to get out enough to not let things pass me by even if communication is hard. Wish I could practice before going out and doing it with people other than my mother, but I'm a 29-year-old man and realize I don't have the luxuries with nobody hanging out in meatspace.
Hey, I'm sorry about this... sounds like she was quite superficial after all. Of course it could be that she might have found you cute but then got a bit overwhelmed by you seeming very keen? It might not have been that, it's just a possibility.
Anyway, even if it was that, I don't think you should ever try to change yourself for the sake of trying to make the 'right' kind of impression on a girl. You'll only end up with the wrong person if you do! I think if she's going to react like that, then I reckon she simply isn't your type.
Personally I always liked unconventional guys, and seeming too keen was no putoff for me (I'm well past the dating stage now). I was always far too shy to approach anyone, anyway.. so only the very persistent ones had a chance with me
Also, lack of experience? Who cares. You can just do a lot of reading up when you do meet the woman of your dreams! She should appreciate that far more than someone who thinks they already know everything
Good luck with making friends! As for communication, when I've lost the plot or can't think of anything to say, I just say 'mm', 'mm' meaningfully and nod, to what someone's saying. That seems to encourage them. Then you actually don't have to talk
Do you like dancing or live music? I always found that helped to not have to make too much conversation when going out with friends or a guy for the first time. Or you could maybe try finding people with similar interests to yours so you can join clubs and so on...? Perhaps you've done all this... just thinking out loud
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