How important is it that a couple's interests match up?

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auntblabby
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24 Apr 2018, 7:26 pm

people are strange :shrug:
when you're a stranger :alien:

nick007
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25 Apr 2018, 12:56 am

auntblabby wrote:

i'm still a bit baffled as to why so many right-wing men end up with left-wing women?

Maybe there's more women lefties than male lefties & more women lefties than women righties due to women tending to care more about women's rights issues.

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auntblabby
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25 Apr 2018, 1:36 am

nick007 wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

i'm still a bit baffled as to why so many right-wing men end up with left-wing women?

Maybe there's more women lefties than male lefties & more women lefties than women righties due to women tending to care more about women's rights issues.

that makes sense, I shoulda thunk of it. :oops:

Seraphiel
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25 Apr 2018, 2:44 am

I think what is more important than interests, is that you have the same values or goals in life. With interests, it's a lot easier to compromise, and each live in each others worlds from time to time. Basically getting involved in each other's interests;unless for some reason that's not desired, and okay with both. Opposites attract, but so do similar people, it really just depends on the individuals, and how they navigate a relationship. If two people are very different, they can experience a lot of new things together, and sometimes compliment each other. It's not for everyone though.

ZZZTired
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25 Apr 2018, 2:55 am

If she isn't happy with you then neither would you be happy with her.

The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Apr 2018, 9:45 am

It’s an overrated cliché imo; men and women often differ greatly in interests anyway.

And there’s always at least a couple of interests between any two random persons; unless you are an alien.

Attraction and commin goals are what matter most.

cortex88
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26 Apr 2018, 5:20 pm

Agree with Boo, it’s raw Attraction first that matters the most. There has to be an attraction energy field between the two, its magic.

Common interests are more important in FRIENDLY relationships, than romantic ones.

auntblabby
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26 Apr 2018, 10:08 pm

cortex88 wrote:

but how long does sheer animal magnetism last in a relationship? isn't it only the initial attraction? doesn't there have to be some compatibility to insure a lasting relationship and not an acrimonious divorce?

nick007
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26 Apr 2018, 10:12 pm

auntblabby wrote:

cortex88 wrote:

I think what's important is that both people are willing to put forth the effort into trying to make the relationship work. There is NO such thing as a perfect realtionship & relationships involve people make compromises. Couples need to be committed to working together for the good of their relationship.

auntblabby
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26 Apr 2018, 10:17 pm

nick007 wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

cortex88 wrote:

but in order for compromise to be possible, there must be some overlap of the venn diagram circles in the first place.

smudge
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26 Apr 2018, 10:21 pm

auntblabby wrote:

i'm still a bit baffled as to why so many right-wing men end up with left-wing women?

In my experience left-wingers have often cut me out if I say the wrong thing. Right-wingers can also be very judgemental, yet a handful of them I’ve argued with about their beliefs without being cut off.

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cortex88
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27 Apr 2018, 2:01 pm

Animal magnetism does wear out. But shared interests is not the only way to be compatible.

Shared values, for example, or just a good p, fulfilling interaction pattern between the two.

I dont know. Isnt this the hardest stuff ever anyway, to analyze relationships and compatibility..

SilverStar
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27 Apr 2018, 3:11 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:

SilverStar wrote:

Mutual interests are important. You don't have to have everything in common, but you should at least have several things in common.

Several? I don't have very many interests...if we have several in common then we probably have everything on common :lol:

Well if you only have like 3 interests, then I would say you need at least one or two things in common.

nick007
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27 Apr 2018, 3:31 pm

SilverStar wrote:

yellowtamarin wrote:

SilverStar wrote:

Mutual interests are important. You don't have to have everything in common, but you should at least have several things in common.

Several? I don't have very many interests...if we have several in common then we probably have everything on common :lol:

Well if you only have like 3 interests, then I would say you need at least one or two things in common.

I only had about 3 main interests before me & Cass got together. They were spending time on computer, listening to music, & watching TV. My biggest interest now is spending time with Cass & if that means doing things I would not do on my own then so be it, she's worth it to me.

auntblabby
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28 Apr 2018, 12:25 am

smudge wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

i'm still a bit baffled as to why so many right-wing men end up with left-wing women?

the only time i'll cut somebody off is If they have the gall to tell me I haven't tried hard enough or worked hard enough without knowing my history.

madcats1967
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28 Apr 2018, 12:35 am

I don't think it's that important that you share the same interests. My husband and I actually do not share any interest, now I think of it, and we've been married for nearly 25 yrs. It is more important to respect each other's privacy, especially when one or both has ASD.

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