How and where do I find a boyfriend?

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Unfortinately, the church I go to is very small, and there are no guys my age that goes to it.

Not everyone is a radical Christian, you know.

There might be a few guys here and there that want to wait until marriage, but most would take it as soon as they can get it.

I am not xtian, but their book is one of several guides for learning good morals.

First off, understand that being 21 and having no relationship experience is still pretty socially acceptable, and still normal. You're still pretty young.

Here's how dating works in a nutshell. For most people, it generally works like. You meet someone, you get their contact information (phone number, snapchat, Facebook etc..), you ask them out on a date, if you click on the first date you go on several dates, somewhere in between you might have sex, and somewhere along the way you define a label for your relationship (FWB, f-buddy, booty call, relationship)

Now i'm going to give you some honest advice. No watered down political correctness horse crap, just straight up truth. When a guy is looking for a girl to date, the first thing he's going to notice is the girl's looks. Is she hot? is she bangable? is she ugly? is she obese? And only if you pass his looks test will he look at your personality and see if you two are compatible or not. If you don't pass his looks test, if he finds you physically unattractive, then you stand absolutely no chance. Call it shallow but then again, dating in general is shallow.

So you would be smart to max out your looks as much as possible, because if you're a girl, looks is the most important factor in your attractiveness.

Get a gym membership, even if you're not fat. Do some squats so you can get a nice looking butt. Guys go crazy over that sht, believe me.

Obviously I have no idea what you look like but if you're obese, then you need to fix that. There is literally no reason to be obese; it's lazy, it's gross, and quite frankly it's unattractive to most guys.

If your hair is short like a boys, then you need to fix that as well.

Dress nicer as well if that's an issue for you.

First of all, there is something called hypothyroidism which basically makes you metabolize things slower, and I happen to have that. I am confident the in the way I look. Would I like to lose weight? Yes. Should what I size I am matter? No. If a guy does not like me for the way I am, he is not the guy for me. If he can't handle me wearing Hanson T-shirts and jeans most of the time, why would I want to be in a relationship with him? If I can't be myself, I think that I will just wait to find the right person who accepts me for me.

Your reaction sounded too xtian, if you are not one then you are certainly culturally one.

Having sex isn’t a lack of strong morals. I find that comment insulting. I have strong morals, I’m loyal, kind, caring compassionate. I don’t want to wait years for something that’s a big part of a relationship, I’m not asexual. Most men will want sex within 2-6 dates. I’d probably wait month or so myself but years until we marry only to find out she never wants sex or is asexual or incompatible sexually then we’d need a divorce no thanks.
Best of luck, maybe try asexual dating sites?

Last edited by sly279 on 05 Jun 2018, 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Um, no, not it isn't. Having sex has nothing to do with the strength of one's morals. You, and others, simply have to accept that not everyone lives by the same moral code that you do. Just because someone chooses to have sex doesn't mean they're immoral in the least bit. All it means is that they choose to have sex. That's it, that's all. You're free to do so, or to choose not to have sex, but to project your morals upon others and suggest that they're immoral for not living their life by your moral code is flat out wrong.

I fully expect to wake up to 10 pages in the thread tomorrow, with random infighting, debates about the sanctity of marriage and a lock by the 11th page.

Don't get into a relationship. They usually end in heartbreak.

Meant isn’t. I was insulted that she seems to state me wanting sex before marriage means I lack strong morals. If you’d read my whole post I’d think you’d realis the mistake. Autocorrect changed it from isn’t to is. I would like to have lots of pre marriage sex. If I somehow managed to get a relationship I doubt I’d ever get married. But it’s all hypothetical for me.

1 you going leave yours then?
2. Better to log and lost then never loved at all.

I’d take 5000 bad relationships that all ended then never having one. He’ll if I had a month long relationship and died I’d die happy. I’d rather love a short life having had a relationship and been loved then this horrible long never ending crap life I’m living

I just looked online, there are lots of Christian dating sites. Have you tried that option?

Gotcha. I did read your whole post, but did not realize there was a typo. Thanks for the clarification, sly.

Yes. I'm going to dump her. And them I'm not going to date any other girls. I'll just be single. I don't have enough energy for more dating. I'm tired.