Endgame

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I know I have to "discuss" issues-----but I find that these discussions often lead to detrimental results for myself, though.

I hope you sort it out. Was she avoiding you for long periods of time?

hmm I hope that i misjudged earlier, but please understand that i formed my judgment based on the series of threads you posted about her (1- her wanting to have a baby, and you refused, 2- soon after she starting treating you badly 3- so i concluded that she may only be after permanent residence) .....so yeah, i hope i was wrong.

Why are the cute types stubborn?

I don't know whether or not she has PMS. Is there a way I can tell?

My psychologist suggested her mood may have been altered by her birth control pills.

Maybe you didn't misjudge her. I know I'm taking a risk. Even if she's not just after PR that doesn't necessarily mean she's the right one for me.

This conflict didn't start immediately after I refused to give her a baby. It was caused by something else. I was scant on the details before because I didn't want to talk about it.

It all started when she didn't like the meal I bought her at a restaurant. She gave me the silent treatment. The reason I got mad at her wasn't because she didn't like the food but because she didn't tell me that was the reason she was moody.

I realise that not all food is to everyone's taste but if she had just told me I wouldn't have minded. This began an argument in which I accused her of expecting me to be a mind reader. Over the next 12 hours or so this escalated into a bigger and bigger conflict. Of course I'm not blaming you for not knowing this because I didn't tell you before now.

I really think there's a cultural divide her. She expects me to act like the typical Chinese boyfriend. Apparently this means knowing why she's moody without her telling me. This is hard enough for anyone but harder for someone who has obvious theory of mind difficulties.

You of all people will realise how different and strange the Chinese culture is. It's not that I'm judgemental about it, it's just that I feel like I'll never understand it. It seems to be full of contradictions.

Does she not choose her own meals at restaurants?

Tbh that just sounds like a typical man/woman spat to me.

Woman gets pissed off and expects man to read to complicated manual and figure out why.

Though choosing food for other people isn’t a good idea if they’re picky eaters. I brought a meal to some geeky a***hole I dated and he threw it in the trash and told me he won’t eat mushrooms and made vomit gestures. So glad I ghosted that guy in the end.

He's surely not a Mario fan.

I was thinking this too. Does she pick her own dinner?

If you are choosing it for her - why? Does she WANT you to choose it for her?

I think you are at a crossroads in the relationship where you and her have clearly different needs and a different desire in which way you want the two of you to go in the future (as a couple). This is causing major conflict and it is only natural for both of you to try and rationalise it in a way which keeps you on the good side of things.

You have two options, consider your role as an adult in the relationship and whether or not you are willing to be a parent in the future, or save yourselves the agony of being together in a morbid relationship borne out of the fear of being alone/not finding anyone else.

Women....

She usually chooses her own meal. That night we went to Krispy Kreme for dinner. We both chose our own donut. Girlfriend didn't like this dinner. After a lengthy silent treatment she said a donut is not a good dinner.

Tonight I cooked her a burger which she seemed to like a lot better.

I have never read any of your previous posts. I don't know you or your girlfriend but here's my input as an NT girlfriend:

"hurt people hurt people"

The most likely explanation for her turning from loving and supportive to someone who hurts your feelings is that she feels hurt herself

Why donuts for dinner?

You should have cooked her the burger then.....

If some girl gave me donuts for dinner, I wouldn't like it---but I would go get my own stuff.

Sounds like something I'd be pissed off at...the silent treatment for nothing.

Nope...I think it's more like the girl's sort of spoiled.

Why did you go to Krispy Kreme? Who made that decision to go to Krispy Kreme?

How is donuts a substitute for dinner?!?!
You guys gotta eat REAL food!