Dating with low self esteem

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I'm sorry to hear that. I met someone emotionally abusive in my teens. It taught me what to look out for in later years.

He was a creep. I wish I'd kown then what I know now.

Sometimes I think my connections are imagined. So I've met someone my own age, in a similar situation to me. I relate a lot to things he says. Younger guys can't understand what it's like being single in your mid-30s. Granted he's had more relationships than me, we're both living alone and have failed many times to find someone. All our friends are married or in relationships and we've fallen between the cracks.

Maybe this isn't a good match. Maybe I'm just lonely. Maybe he's just lonely. It's so easy to make excuses and walk away.

Is it low self esteem or a true gut feeling?

I’m not sure either, but you’re not ugly.
Maybe you come across uninterested?

You’re pretty attractive, actually, and have a good mind.

What does hurtloam look like? All I see is a muppet.

Taking a break from dating, like taking a break from Internet forums, is sometimes a good idea until you feel ready to go back into the fray.

Distress about dating is not limited to autistic people. It's hard for many, perhaps most. And the phenomenon of sticking with a "good enough" relationship is known worldwide... also known as "settling."

I'd say date when you feel up to an interpersonal risk, and don't date when you don't. If you're already in a relationship, but it doesn't seem to be progressing, remind yourself that all growth entails risk. If a static situation meets your needs right now (and there's nothing wrong with that!), then don't take any risks. If you need more, gently push the subject and then decide what to do, based on the other person's reaction.

I’ve seen a picture of her.

I wouldn’t say that, otherwise.