Women That Like to Play the Field

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Does 'playing the field' involve sex with more than one?

If so, it seems I’m playing every match of the World Cup.

I thought it meant playing every position on the field, from backman to rucker.

I like to be the quarterback.....

You bet!

My daughter went through a polyamory phase. I said as confusing as one relationship is, why would she want several? Plus the circles she was involved in usually had several diagnosable personality disorders... fortunately, she is in a committed relationship with one person now. As a mom, I keep my mouth shut and praise the lord!

I've been out of the "dating scene" for a while (having been married for almost 15 years).

I will say this though:

When someone is meeting up for the first "dates" (whether they involve physical intimacy or not), I wouldn't assume anything. Either partner could be seeing others.

If one of the dating partners (male or female or same sex partner) finds the other particularly appealing and would like a more serious, committed relationship (i.e. "exclusive"), then they should discuss it. The partner who desires the exclusive relationship would be best to ask clearly, offer that they will respect their partners feelings and answer regarding the discussion (in other words, no name calling and no "mopey" behaviour if one doesn't get the desired answer).

After discussing, they can quit dating and happily be exclusive, continue dating, but realize that this is an open and/or temporary relationship; agree on variations and alternatives to monogamy and have a special relationship that is tailored to the needs and philosophies of both parties.

The most important consideration is always RESPECT.

If someone is dating (and having intimacy with multiple) - then one can mention that they are seeing other people (but they don't have to name names and, especially, they don't have to "kiss & tell" - which is sharing intimate details about their other dating partners.

It goes without saying that they should be no judgment or name calling, just open discussion, acceptance and respect.

I think it's usually best to keep these things to yourself, unless the other person brings it up. Unless someone is cool about it, telling them you are also dating other people might give them "ideas" about you.

Also, I think that talking to, or going on first dates with different people around the same time, wouldn't be as quite as bad as seeing someone for awhile (before you become bf/gf), and then sleeping around with somebody else.

Going on multiple first dates isn't so bad (how else are you gonna get to know people?), but sleeping around with multiple people, after the initial first dates, seems kinda sleazy to me.

Probably would not be well received unless the guys you were talking to about other guys you were seeing were bisexual swingers.....

Even if there's no love or commitment, the other person has the right to know because you're exposing them to a higher STD risk.

yes, ideally. but in practice i'm far too busy to date atm. i've done so in the past tho. also these days i'm looking more for a relationship type deal.

Dating is more like a business transaction. What can I offer? What can you offer? Can we get along? I don't see a relationship as a business transaction, so I would never do dating. That's probably also why people think they need the exclusive talk. They simply are sealing the deal (business transaction).

For me, love is about passion and a crush. If a crush is not exclusive with me or doesn't reciprocate, I'll work on getting rid of any feelings I have ASAP. When I've obsessed a while about my crush, I have a strong attachment to her, and that makes me exclusive. I don't have to agree to be exclusive.

I agree with your notion of crushes...but I feel like the crushed should be acted upon, rather than being allowed to fester for months.

Perhaps this is the product of a lack of patience? Borne out of human biological urges?

It just seems like the problem with acting on a crush is that it disappears so much quicker then. The most long-lasting crushes (up to three years in my experience) are those with no real interaction like dating, hanging out or discussions. I've also seen people with strong infatuations hanging-out, and they will typically look like an ordinary couple that's been together for ages already after half-a-year or so. Which means that if people want to enjoy things more, they need to be more patient and not act on it too quickly.

Your conclusion does not follow from the conditions you stated.

Can you be more specific?

At least for me, having a crush three years is much more enjoyable than having it less than half-a-year. Maybe you see it otherwise then?

Last edited by rdos on 09 Aug 2018, 9:24 am, edited 1 time in total.