The purpose of relationships

Post Reply New Topic

That's quite toxic. Relationships are not meant to fulfill your desire not to be alone you're supposed to be with someone because you WANT to which would also be a bigger compliment to that person if you are perfectly fine on your own but would rather be with them because they make you THAT happy.

This is why they say you need to love yourself first. Lonliness is treated with interests and friends. A relationship is like that extra cherry on top, a person you love to make you even happier and for you to share your life with. A relationship is about sharing each others lives not for the other person to actually be your entire life and take care of everything for you. Nobody wants that burden, it's selfish to expect it and it has nothing to do with actual love if you expect that from someone or mourn lonliness more than them as a person if it ends. Those are all also the kinds of relationships that always get toxic, there is no way to avoid that as a relationship is not about someone catering to your needs and if you use a relationship for anything else but what it's for it can never become healthy or loving. This means possibly more pain for you, your trust being bruised when things never work out, loss of faith in relationships and you leaving behind a bunch of hurt and angry partners.

I think you need to think about what love really is and don't drag people romantically into your presence when you're at this point in life. Learn to deal with lonliness in a healthy way, a lot of people enjoy being on their own and if you don't you're not like them and need to get out there and make some friends and find hobbies which will make you happier. If you don't want to deal with people in general you can probably find likeminded people here for example who can become friends you won't mind dealing with.

I don't think that this is an aspie thing. Most aspies i've met are content being on their own and aren't looking for a relationship if they are single but wants to take that as it comes. I have talked to a few others who are very unhappy singles though but the differene between those is that my friends with aspergers who are happy singles are also very happy and content with their lives in general and therefore doesn't feel like anything's missing.

If you can't figure it out yourself you could try therapy if you can. A therapist can give you good tools for improving your life as well as listen to and give you support and advice. We all get lonley. I didn't have any friends for most of my life but now I do.

I'm married since a long time, but we agreed it's only a friendship. It's not that we don't get along.

I have no desire to have a romantic relationship, but I want a meaningful friendship. I have never seen a person and felt that I wanted more than a friendship. I don't understand relationships either way. I'd be okay with a cuddle buddy, though.

I'm alone most of the time because I feel this is the way I feel most comfortable, and I can be as awkward as I want. However, it's normal that I also feel lonely sometimes. I feel lonely because I'd like to share something about myself, my daily challenges, or, mostly, what I'm doing, my interests, with another person, and share the same enthusiasm, or sometimes just hug for a while when the day became too rough. Most people want several friends or a romantic partner, but ideally I just want one single true friend. Friendships can be as rewarding as relationships, that is my rationale. Most people won't agree with me, though. I understand their rationale as well.

I really struggle with this question. When I just want to be alone and I tell my girlfriend to go in another room, I wonder why I wanted to be in a relationship to begin with. Maybe I'm just too much of a loner and I shouldn't be in a relationship.

A good relationship is wonderful, but a bad one is not worth having. Most of us have something in between. I personally love being married, love the sharing, love being able to depend on some things. But I will never rush into a relationship that is just mediocre - that was my first marriage, that I stayed in far too long. My second marriage, this man has always thought the sun shines out my *** (hate the crudity but don't know a better way to put it) and despite his limitations, including early-stage dementia, I feel loved and happy.