Dating someone with BPD

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borderline

Oh Ok. My bad.

My bad as well. Realized now that the girl I mentioned had bipolar disorder, not borderline.

BPD is a spectrum disorder too in my opinion. Not everyone will self-harm themselves, not everyone will spend money without limits, not everyone will have risky sex with strangers.
I would say proceed with caution and learn what triggers her issues but don't give it up just because of a label.
People who are aware of their condition will do everything to improve and they deserve a chance too.

I just tell you one of my little episodes.
I have a girl friend, one day we went to the cinema together. After the movie, we were discussing it and I said how touching I found one scene. She agreed.

Later I heard her talking with the boyfriend saying how cheesy it was.

I became so upset, I was visiting her so stayed at her place but at that moment I felt she betrayed me, she didn't like me if she could lie to me like that and nobody likes me and I will die alone as I have no real friends.Thoughts escalated quickly but after 30 minutes of self-torturing I realized it was a silly movie only and her boyfriend doesn't like showing emotions so probably that's why she said that and even if she had that opinion it will not change mine.
Also she was the only one who offered me to stay with her, let me stay all by myself when they were on holiday.
The bottom line is it was all in my head as I am aware of the oddity of my thought processes.

So "study" your girlfriend, it is not necessarily a drama all the time to be with somebody with BPD

I can see that because what was described sounds exactly like what I was going through.

I can be happy and loving one minute and angry and furious the next and then depressed and miserable. Also I have periods where I have nonstop energy and can stay up all day and all night cleaning the entire house and then I have periods where I have no energy at all and can't function.

Telling you she's crazy is most likely her warning/excuse to act however she wants later and lash out at you for complaining. I'd be more willing to trust someone with BPD who could discuss their issues in a more straightforward, even way. She sounds like one who refuses to believe she's in control of her behavior.

I believe the pairing of someone with BPD witj someone with an ASD is likely to be an incompatible pairing.

I think those with BPD are best paired with others with BPD or HPD.

my on and off girlfriend of the last 2 years has it, and she self medicates

my own experience is that my girlfriend (ex, currently, may not be, may be, who the f**k knows) has absolutely no interest in bettering herself. no medication, no doctors, just weed and xanax. she is almost entirely closed to the idea of opening up and changes her mind about how much she loves me every 4 months. she's either madly in love with me and i'm the greatest thing in her life or i'm completely worthless to her, there's no middle ground.

when she mentions she's "crazy" you should take it seriously, but crazy can mean a lot of different things. everyone with a mental illness or neurological difference deserves love. no matter how "crazy" so if you have feelings, give it every honest effort you can. but hold her to a standard of being an adult. yes, she may have issues in her life, it may be difficult, but that doesn't mean she's incapable or immature. she could be a loose cannon like my ex, or, she could be a lovely woman with a lot going for her who just experiences some emotional breakdowns. who knows, you could fall in love. give it every chance it deserves.

and one more thing - don't let it get too intense too soon. nobody falls in love within 2 weeks. common problem i had with her.