A partner won't make you happy

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Fair enough. I asked because it's good to have a place to vent, and you seem to be covered well.

To be honest, I would normally have said similar things to what you did TheGrandInquisitor, but I'm fed up with whining.

I feel Grand Inquisitor is fed up with whining, too.

Great post. I suppose the problem is waiting for a partner to make one happy, rather than being with a known person who already makes you happy.

Waiting for someone to make you happy will also attract predatory people. Being with someone like that is a good cure for blindly wanting a relationship, though.

It's more the fact that the whining is followed by inaction for the most part, and it's unreasonable to expect a different result if you've decided you're going to continue changing nothing and expecting your circumstances to magically change of their own accord. I'd prefer to see people change and succeed than remain entrenched in their own monotony and mediocrity and advance no further.

What separates me from some of the other guys here in a similar situation is that I acknowledge that it's highly likely that I'll need to change a few things before it's reasonable to expect different results. I may not be having the most success with igniting the changes at the time being, but either way I realise that the world isn't just going to bend to my will, and that I only have myself to blame if I choose to stay on the same path and not get the results I seek.

I HAD to come to the realization, most of all, that I had to convey to women that I'm interested in something other than finding a woman.

Do you mean me?
It wouldn’t make my life rainbows and butterflies but I’d be a lot happier then I am now, I’d probably hate my job less too and start to enjoy holidays and my hobbies more like I use to.
Having a gf would make my life better not worse.
Life will never be 100% good and happy. Why shouldn’t I want to atleast have it happier then it is now?

To have someone to share my life with just like most every single human wants a relationship

For those of us who can’t change venting is all we have otherwise it builds up until we snap one day, I’d prefer not to snap one day and that happens to everyone who just holds it in. If you pressure a bottle eventually it’ll break as it can only hold so much pressure same with tires they can only hold so much air before the blow. Most people who snap kill themselves. It’s better to vent. I have no future, I’m screwed god hates me. So I come in vent as it’s byter then holding up in my room never talking to anyone being consumed by my depression until I hate women, don’t you think? Mean if I didn’t talk to women here then that’d be all I have sitting in my room thinking about how all women hate me and treat me like worthless trash, wouldn’t such thoughts alone lead to hatred?
I imagine that’s how people grow hate.
So I’d rather come vent here and get to onow some nice women thanks very much

I know I’d have to change but I can’t
What part of any of my posts suggest I expect to ever get s gf? I expect to live alone until I can one day kill myself or I die from some other event.
Some others have also accepted their fates, what harm is there from us venting until then?

There also no harm in talkning about how I wish the world was or could change.
Mlk did the same and bam eventually the word did change. I think the future will
Change and be better for men like me. It’ll
Have to. Some women from my nieces generation are telling their parents to shove it and dating poor men. They seeing the word for how it is and adapting and every generation more and more will do so.

As for me all I have is small hope some lady will randomly decide to date me that’s all that keeps me going. It’s false hope but it’s all I have in this bleak horrible world of people who hate my existence
I’m starting to be less afraid of hell as I don’t see how it could be worse then this.

(Again, hypocrite alert. But at the same time I think that it's true)

If you're truly hopeless, I hope for your own benefit that you some day are able to accept it rather than whine. You haven't accepted it, that's why you keep going on and on and on and on and on and on, and it's the same annoying topic every time.

You consider killing yourself only because you are not at peace with it.
You're still in the bargaining-depression phase of grief.
Only in acceptance you can find peace and start refocusing on things that actually make you happy.

And maybe then your life actually has a chance to turn into something more worthwhile.

In my personal experience having a partner does make me happy. After me & my 1st girlfriend broke up I was very depressed being single. I made LOTS of posts on here about it. I think the members who been around a long time like Boo can attest to that. I was very happy with my 2nd girlfriend that I had 8 years later. I got my current girlfriend shortly after she dumped me. I'm very happy with her too. If I'm upset about things it's because she also has issues she's dealing with & I feel bad for her. I try my very best to be supportive but fail sometimes. She's the person I'm closest to & the person who helps & supports me the most so I try to return the favor.

A bad relationship will not make you happier.

But a good relationship will make you happier.

And it's the latter what most people yearn for.

I suggest to all those in relationships to break it up now, and see if they'll be happier.

Actually, there's two types of threads I am sick of:

- Whining about not be able to have a relationship

Annnnd....

- Whining about those who whine about not being able to have a relationship.

[Color=red]^ This. And even if you don't currently have a partner, knowing you have the potential to attract a partner is infinitely better than all the evidence you've accrued throughout your life indicating the contrary. You notice that for the most part, it's not people who have a lot of experience in relationships that complain about not having a relationship, even when they're single. It's those who have never had a relationship who want it most in general, and some of that has to do with the fact that it will prove to them that they're worthy of having a relationship and able to get one. I personally think I would rather have experienced good relationships and abusive relationships than no relationships at all.[color=red]

Being rich doesn’t make you’re life better either.
Neither does owning a car
Not having autism wouldn’t make it better either,
It’s easy for the haves to tell the have nots they don’t need to have to be happy.
I won’t trll homless people thst having a home won’t make them happy, of course having a home would make them happy.

Relationships make people happier, that’s why people get into relationships

Having friends doesn't make you happier.

Having a job doesn't make your life better.

Having a good health doesn't make your life easier

Let's then just all drink kool-aids.

It's a dumb anti-argument if you put it like this, frankly. I have a relationship and it's definitely better than never having one.

My 1st realtionship got pretty bad towards the end & I would rather be in a bad one like that than be alone.

I can say that you are correct. I have a long term relationship that is unlikely to end anytime soon if at all. But getting in a relationship does not erase all your problems and make you happy. I mean when you are in a relationship there can be agruments and disagreements it's bound to happen...and also some stress of caring about the other person. I mean you should go for a partner that respects your lifestyle and accepts you for who you are, but even so you have to consider their feelings and how your actions may affect them. Sometimes it can be hard to take if they tell you there are things you could improve upon or an issue in the relationship. You don't just get with someone and its happily ever after a relationship takes effort and there can be rough patches that need to be worked through.

Also though there are still things I worry about and things on my mind, plus I am not 'cured' of my depression, PTSD and anxiety....i just am dealing with those things granted I have gotten some therapy and help with it, but its still there and it can certainly cause problems sometimes.

A relationship is a good thing but its also something both people have to work together on, and it does have stresses of its own. I think some people don't realize this and think getting a relationship will solve everything, but it doesn't you still have to work on your own issues and problems you have to make the relationship work.