A girl I just met gave me her number...

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But you get the chance to watch the whole team play from sideline , you get unique perspective from the locker room , you may learn some new skills and may see what doesn't work on the field. You just have to wait for a horrific injury to get your chance

Or you may consider all of the coaches as your detractors, and spend the rest of your life complaining about them.

Yeah but then you get penalty flags thrown all over the field giving the referees a nightmare

... when getting permanently removed from the stadium would make life easier and more pleasant for everyone else -- coaches, officials, and players alike ...

Oh God , what have I started. We better leave it there.

Oh no, this is more interesting...

Keeping more in the intended context, I don’t believe in sitting on just one person’s bench. Plus...it’s useful to have a few players on your own bench as well.

There’s a woman from my past that I’ll never get over...one that “got away,” so to speak, and I probably never really had a chance with her anyway. But I never really tried all that hard, either. Plain fact is our lives went two different directions and I’d go years without hearing from her. Maybe I could have gone half my career just waiting for her and just going for it. But I’d never have met some of the wonderful women I’ve been with along the way. You just can’t waste your life waiting for something that might never happen.

But my wife, on the other hand... I came along during a very bad time for her. So when she finally got the courage to dump her bf, guess who she ran to? Later on I dated another girl while in grad school and when I left it was clear we were headed in two different directions. Guess who I ran back to? My ex...who I’ve been married to ever since.

There’s no shame in that. Everyone does it. I posted a link to an article a few months back that found about half of women in the UK admitted they have a man waiting in the wings. Everyone CAN do it, at least, and it’s simple. The more waiting lists you’re on and the more you have ON your waiting list, the more likely you’re going to find someone than by staying out of sight and just waiting your turn. If all you do is just go to the back of the line, you’re setting yourself up for other guys to cut in front. Feel free to cut in line any time.

Of all the women that I've come to know in the last 20+ years, AND who have gotten a divorce, each one already had a man on the side before filing those papers -- maybe "just a friend", a close friend, or a boyfriend -- each one ended up with her "player on the bench".

It makes sense, too. I mean, in the business world, if you depend solely on one source of income, you will want to make sure that you have another source of income lined up before you quit the first one, right?

The jobs/finances analogy is a good one. I'll do you one better. We overpay on our income tax and always get a big fat refund. PLUS we contribute to a money market along the way. Every year, we pay our kids' school tuition 100% all in advance, a year's worth of cell phone/data. a year's worth of water, and a year's worth of electric. We could literally lose our jobs tomorrow and live a full year with no income whatsoever. Car and house are already paid for, and we don't believe in credit card debt.

The point is the same as yours: have a backup plan and an effective exit strategy. If I were a woman, I wouldn't leave too much of my things at his apartment. Toothbrush, toothpaste, bar of soap, a package of Q-tips, petroleum jelly, and three sets of clothes that I don't particularly care about. And if I'm being honest, I'm only as emotionally vested in my own marriage as I am because I never intend to pursue another romantic relationship again. I feel like I'm past that--nothing against those who've divorced or been widowed, but it's just not for me. If I felt differently, though, it's not like I wouldn't know where to go. No matter your gender, it's a good idea to keep one eye open for the exit signs.

It seems to me many of the men on WP aren't concerned about where the door is or whether someone's waiting on the other side of it. There's this idea of "fairness" that I think is impractical. I think it's important to treat women well, but being a "nice guy" i.e. you have some lofty ideas about being "fair" just doesn't work. It looks bad to have a relational insurance policy, but screw it...when you change for her because you don't want her to think you have "trust issues" and she dumps you anyway, you'll be glad you had it.

Because she wants to be friends. Because most women like having male friends as well as female ones. Because if

you tick some boxes she'll want you to date one of her friends. If you tick lots of boxes she may want to date you

herself. Since you just met she probably doesn't know herself what to do with you, just that she would like to get

to know you. That is not a bad thing, it's an opportunity to be introduced to a new group of people by an insider.

That’s....disgusting and very disturbing.
I mean if there’s a man in her life already while filling divorce papers, didn’t that make you suspect that there may be cheating before?

But nothing surprises me anymore.

Have you learned what happened to those men later though?

^In the cases I know about they got married or lived together for years. And I don't think they were cheating.

I don't know if the lining a new man up thing is for practicality or because they don't like to be alone, but I

suspect it's primarily a confidence thing with a bit of the other things counting too.