Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Am I doomed?

Page 2 of 9 [ 129 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 9  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

[email protected]
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 15 Jan 2019
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 8
Location: Australia

26 Mar 2019, 10:19 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
What are you interested in, Sam?


You are going to say to join social gatherings about things I'm interested in.

I think that forcing exposure might not help me. I went to school like everybody. I work 5 days out of the week and have to talk to people. Why haven't I improved naturally with time? I'm a real basket case. I though highschool would be my "bad" years and I'd learn and improve when I got older, and that never happened.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

26 Mar 2019, 10:27 am

No. I wasn't going to suggest that.

But you do have to find some way to meet people in order to resolve the dilemma you are in.

You might not want to meet people----but it would be easier to resolve your dilemma should you do so.

Or else just hang out by yourself, pursue your interests, travel on your own, stuff like that.

One can live a fulfilling life just pursuing their interests on their own.



BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,416

26 Mar 2019, 10:32 am

I'd suggest seeking out neurodiverse individuals of your preferred gender.



Sabreclaw
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Dec 2015
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,971

28 Mar 2019, 1:28 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
elkclan wrote:
If I were younger.... I would be totally dismissive of this maybe you'll find love in your 40s thing, too. But I'm in my LATE 40s and FINALLY finding someone who makes me really, really happy after years of loneliness and a terrible marriage and honestly I can only see the future really.

Sometimes we do the what if game and wonder what would have happened if we'd found each other earlier, but rarely. I have the love life I want and the sex life I never dreamed was possible. I'm just incredibly grateful.

BTW - my partner was 23 maybe when he lost his virginity?



23 is not late for losing it, at least in my world.


23 is extremely late. About 4 - 5 years later than average. Most girls on dating sites that allow you to answer questions outright say they won't date someone who's a virgin or inexperienced with relationships, including girls as young as 18.

And to anyone who says "just keep it a secret", you do realize that they'll figure it out and then be mad at you for lying, on top of not wanting anything to do with you for being a virgin?



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,622
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

28 Mar 2019, 5:35 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
Most girls on dating sites that allow you to answer questions outright say they won't date someone who's a virgin or inexperienced with relationships, including girls as young as 18.
More than a few guys I hear talking or see things of online say how they like virgins or would like one if they had the chance. I don't understand why it seems so many men like virgins when so many women do not.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,765

31 Mar 2019, 7:47 am

nick007 wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Most girls on dating sites that allow you to answer questions outright say they won't date someone who's a virgin or inexperienced with relationships, including girls as young as 18.
More than a few guys I hear talking or see things of online say how they like virgins or would like one if they had the chance. I don't understand why it seems so many men like virgins when so many women do not.

I would guess it's because most often the man takes on the dominant role in sex and the woman takes on the submissive role, so if the one who's meant to take on the dominant role is also the one who's inexperienced, that's a problem.

Another reason could be that in general it is much easier for women to find a sexual partner than men when they want one, and men are meant to be the pursuers and women are meant to be the pursuees, so a woman who is a virgin is seen to have restraint, because most of the time it's a choice for women, while a man who's a virgin will be seen as being incompetent, as being a virgin as a man generally isn't a choice. It's the opposite with men and women who have a lot of sex as men who have a lot of sex are seen as competent in gaining women's affections and women who have a lot of sex are seen as not having much restraint.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,060
Location: Adelaide, Australia

01 Apr 2019, 2:10 am

sly279 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Why people always mention uncles in these stories.

Why is spending half your life and the best part of your life alone seen as good.

It could have been the worst part of his life. Maybe he's mutch happier now.


sly279 wrote:
Hearing my unlace or grandpa or whatever didn’t find anyone until their 40/50/60/70etc just makes me more depressed not hopeful

Yes but if you heard someone's uncle or grandpa found someone in their early 20s, would that make you feel more hopeful?


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Harpuia
Raven
Raven

Joined: 30 Mar 2019
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 112
Location: Atlanta, GA

02 Apr 2019, 11:41 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
elkclan wrote:
If I were younger.... I would be totally dismissive of this maybe you'll find love in your 40s thing, too. But I'm in my LATE 40s and FINALLY finding someone who makes me really, really happy after years of loneliness and a terrible marriage and honestly I can only see the future really.

Sometimes we do the what if game and wonder what would have happened if we'd found each other earlier, but rarely. I have the love life I want and the sex life I never dreamed was possible. I'm just incredibly grateful.

BTW - my partner was 23 maybe when he lost his virginity?



23 is not late for losing it, at least in my world.


23 is extremely late. About 4 - 5 years later than average. Most girls on dating sites that allow you to answer questions outright say they won't date someone who's a virgin or inexperienced with relationships, including girls as young as 18.

And to anyone who says "just keep it a secret", you do realize that they'll figure it out and then be mad at you for lying, on top of not wanting anything to do with you for being a virgin?


I lost my virginity at 28. I've never had complaints about me in bed. That was actually the one reason I had relationships as long as I did, including my first one. A lot of it is how creative you are.


_________________
Diagnosed with Asperger's/ASD March 2012
AQ: 32
EQ: 30
Rdos: Your Aspie score: 126 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 90 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


Kiprobalhato
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2014
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 29,119
Location: מתחת לעננים

02 Apr 2019, 12:21 pm

BTDT wrote:
I'd suggest seeking out neurodiverse individuals of your preferred gender.


neurodiverse people only exist on the internet.


_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


Antrax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,639
Location: west coast

02 Apr 2019, 2:07 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
BTDT wrote:
I'd suggest seeking out neurodiverse individuals of your preferred gender.


neurodiverse people only exist on the internet.


I've been living in the internet the whole time?


_________________
"Ignorance may be bliss, but knowledge is power."


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

02 Apr 2019, 5:58 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Why people always mention uncles in these stories.

Why is spending half your life and the best part of your life alone seen as good.

It could have been the worst part of his life. Maybe he's mutch happier now.


sly279 wrote:
Hearing my unlace or grandpa or whatever didn’t find anyone until their 40/50/60/70etc just makes me more depressed not hopeful

Yes but if you heard someone's uncle or grandpa found someone in their early 20s, would that make you feel more hopeful?

20s is when people are most healthy, most in shape, have most energy, etc. it’s all down hill after 30 as your body slowly decays to death. This is human existence . We mature then decay. With a brief period of peak.
Sex when your 20 is way better then sex at 40. You can do things at 20 you can’t do at 40. Or atleast far easier then at 40.
I already can’t do the things I could at 20. It’s depressing that I’ll never get to experience the things 95% or more of humans get to experience.


_________________
There is no place for me in the world. I'm going into the wilderness, probably to die


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

02 Apr 2019, 5:59 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
BTDT wrote:
I'd suggest seeking out neurodiverse individuals of your preferred gender.


neurodiverse people only exist on the internet.

Indeed good luck finding a Nd woman who’s single and likes you in your area, more likely to win the lottery for 500 million dollars.


_________________
There is no place for me in the world. I'm going into the wilderness, probably to die


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

02 Apr 2019, 6:01 pm

I'm in much better shape in my 50's than I was in my 20's.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

02 Apr 2019, 6:50 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm in much better shape in my 50's than I was in my 20's.

That’s biologically impossible. If you did everything you did now at 20 you’d be in better shape at 20.
20s is the best years. It’s when your young and full of energy. You’ll never change my mind on that.
30s suck. I can’t do any of the things I wanted to do. I’ll never be able to.


_________________
There is no place for me in the world. I'm going into the wilderness, probably to die


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

03 Apr 2019, 5:43 am

Sly....I know I’m right. I have experience in this.

My pulse was 95 when I was about 25. Now, it’s in the 60s.

You just reached your 30s. How do you know how you’re going to do in your 30s?



Sabreclaw
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Dec 2015
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,971

03 Apr 2019, 5:48 am

Women in their 30's tend to be prudish, obsessed with having children, and only interested in career-oriented men. What's the point of dating at that age?