Asperger's/Autism and Romantic Isolation

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I don’t wear hats, I don’t leave my room anymore.

Why don't you leave your room anymore?

(And didn't you say, in another message somewhere, that you sometimes go out to a shooting range?)

I have no one to go anywhere with. I suffer anxiety as well. I have no friends, not much money. I don’t even have much people to play games with online anymore.

I go shooting rarely with people in the woods. I went month ago before that’d I’d been few years.

Plenty of non trump people go to shooting ranges though if you implying thwt signals trump support your wrong.

That's not my point. I'm aware that not all gun people are Trump supporters.

My point was that you had made a statement that appeared to be inconsistent with your statement that you don't leave your room anymore. So you apparently do leave your room occasionally, which is better than not leaving it at all.

Get to know them first, without yet trying to date them. Start by just saying hi, as a friendly neighbor, as you pass them on the street. Don't try to date anyone at first. Just get to know as many local immigrants as you can, men as well as women, on a purely friendly basis. Don't start trying to date anyone until after you've already made friends with a particular woman and thus have a basis for knowing whether she would just be "using" you.


Only if they make it obvious, e.g. by wearing red MAGA hats, or by saying things like "TRUMP 2020!!" on their social media accounts or in email signatures/taglines.


Immigrants from where? All over the world, or just one dominant ethnic group? If the former, you're already in the right kind of neighborhood; you don't need to move.


Since you apparently haven't even considered dating immigrants before, you have no basis for knowing this.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 31 May 2019, 8:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm sorry to hear the latter.

How would you describe the attitudes of your family regarding your ASD diagnosis, and with the reality that this means your life generally can't be exactly normal?

I have to work and get food. It’s impossible to never leave ones room unless one is wealthy enough to have others do errands and bring supplies.
Besides those needed things I don’t leave the house, and i only leave my room to use bathroom or get food from the kitchen. I spend majority of my time in bed.
When I had friends I spent most my time with them outside my house.

Women don’t see me as a human. They don’t want to talk to me, I try to not even make eye contact with them or I get nasty faces. I’m just a waste of time to them since I’m not a real man. Immigrants tend to have even more traditional views on gender and relationships

I’m a trump voter, my signature is a way of fighting back against the anti trump bullies that are in this site who picked on me and try to bully me into silence and suppress me.

We have lots of wealthy Asians but the only date other Asians to keep their race pure.
Then there’s Mexicans who seem to make fun of me in Spanish as they too can tell I’m subhuman. I don’t think I’d want to date a woman who speaks another language, she’d just insult me and plot in it and I’d never know other then her pointing and laughing like they do.

Agains they tend to hold more traditional views, ie men are the providers.
I will never be a provider this is what gets me seen as subhuman by most women.
The best I can hope for is the ones who just ignore me like I’m nit even there. It’s better then the ones who insult me. I just hope non try to kill me cause “who would care”

Most women would see you as human and the ones that don’t wouldn’t be worth your time anyway.

But most don’t. They say I’m not a real man, and I’m certainly not a woman.
What’s that leave? And how they treat me is horrible.

I’ve been crying all day haven’t left my bed, didn’t game at all.

How do you know that “most don’t?” Have you been going up to every woman you see and asking them if they think you’re a man?

I’m sorry you’re so down, but it’s not as hopeless as you think.

I’ve seen thousands of women from my area, on dating sites and social media.
There only so many thousands of women in my age range in my area.
Women give me nasty looks why would I push my luck?

Why given everything about me do yuu think it’s not hopeless?
I’ve been trying to date for 15+ years with not a single gf to show for it. Like activity trying to date, pursuing women. Being told the same thing thousands of times
Most the women on wp have told me the same things too.

I think it would be good for you to work on building friendships with both genders. It’ll widen your circle. Sometimes guy friends have sisters or female friends and sometimes friendships with women grow into relationships.

Why is it so many men make this really simple point out to be like it's rocket science or something?! It's not! I can't f*****g imagine only having men friends how stifling and emotionally barren my life would probably be! f**k that. And yes that's how you meet women through other women. That should be a mantra or something for men to chant till they memorize it and say it instinctively or maybe tatoo it on your forehead. Whatever. Twilight nails it again.

Start by talking to MEN, then. Make a point of being friendly to the immigrant men in your neighborhood. Women might then feel safer talking to you too, later, AFTER you've established yourself as a generally friendly neighbor, not just some weird guy trying to get into their pants.


Probably MOST of them do, but not all of them.

Here in my neighborhood, for example, a lot of people probably have very strong anti-LGBT attitudes. Yet, a couple of years ago, I was rather startled when a woman from India told me she was in love with me.


Again, don't assume they ALL feel that way. There are lots of marriages between Asian immigrants and white American citizens, and they certainly aren't all just marriages of convenience.


Perhaps the Mexicans are too Western in terms of NT body language expectations? Be that as it may, I would suggest trying to make friends with some local Mexican MEN if you can, before you start trying to make friends with women.


If you ever do date a woman who speaks another language, you should make a point of learning her language.

Even BEFORE you get to the point of dating anyone, it might be a good idea to start learning some of the languages spoken in your neighborhood. If you were to take a genuine interest in learning about your neighbors' cultures, you could probably make a lot of friends (men at first, then maybe some women too) that way.


There's one material asset you do have: U.S. citizenship. Perhaps some middle-class Asian woman who otherwise likes you (and who ALSO wants to become a citizen by marrying you) might, through her family connections, be able to help you find a better career/job? You could then be more of an economic contributor too, which would help stabilize the relationship -- although hopefully the relationship would be based on more than just that.

Learning a new language is quite difficult and isn’t for everyone, especially when one can’t afford lessons or language programs.

He just needs to work on widening out and meeting new people.

Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to see if your local library has any groups that you’d be interested in joining. Mine has various social clubs centered around board games, video games, and writing workshops that a lot of people attend.

Community centers often have a lot to offer in this regard as well.