Do you believe in the idea of a Soulmate?

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I absolutely don't agree with the above---from my own viewpoint.

Someone else might agree with what you said, however.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 16 Aug 2019, 9:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well yes, I'm not suggesting people are attracted to their dogs....

But this is in the love and dating section so I was describing a romantic soul mate.

But yes I do think you can have good non-romantic connections.

This.

Almost always, one member is attracted and the other isn't.

Unrequited love/crushes are such a common theme in our books and movies because so many people can relate

To answer the original question, no I don't believe in soul mates.

I believe in compatible personalities and mutual attraction.

I kinda agree. Me & my 1st girlfriend felt we were soulmates cuz of how much we had in common & how well we got along but I don't think there was an attraction aspect till after we noticed those things. I kinda quit believing in soulmates after that relationship ended thou. Now I believe that you can feel like you & someone else are soulmates but it's potentially possible to feel that way with multiple people throughout your life. When it comes to finding a partner, I was mostly just wanting someone who would give me a real chance & would put forth some effort into making the relationship work herself instead of everything being one-sided. I became attracted to most any woman I thought I might have half a chance with.

I made that claim because I don't feel there was any link between finding somebody sexually attractive and being a soulmate in the romantic context. I even feel that you cannot be soulmates if you just think about having sex with each other. Being a soulmate requires a lot more than just crude sexual attraction & sexual compatibility.

Also, I don't think sexual attraction had any importance in any of my love interests. They didn't happen because the girls were attractive, but because they acted in a way that triggered my brain's natural instincts. So, I think sexual attraction is just a quick way we use to evaluate each other, but it likely plays little role in our actual partner selections unless we rely on all these online dating sites.

I knew a woman back in university who swore that she had found her soulmate. There were only two problems:

1. He didn't know it yet.
2. He was married.

Other minor issues like: she was a freshman and he was a professor, he was 20 years her senior, et cetera.

Yeah....I've run into this sort of thing myself.

Like I said----the CONCEPT of a soulmate is cool----but the reality is that most people won't find their perfect soulmate.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines "soul mate" as: (1) a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament; (2) a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs. Basically, it's two people who share many common traits. Nothing is mentioned regarding any supernatural aspect. By this definition, there are likely millions of "soul mates" for every person looking for one.

These definitions make sense.
"Someone compatibile enough to be able to form a healthy relationship with me" was my relatively minimalist approach to the problem but realizing I found the right person was still a mystical-like experience.

That could explain why "jerks" and "mean girls" always seemed to attract each other in high school and college.

Sexual attraction isn't just crude... My my, how prudish

If you're not sexually attracted to someone, then it's going to be a huge mistake to ignore that and enter into a romantic relationship with that person. Keep it platonic. If you don't, both parties are going to be short-changed in the sexual arena. It just doesn't work.

This, absolutely.

The term seems to have taken some kind of... an esoteric turn these days.

It's taken an "esoteric" turn, in my opinion, because things which are religious or "spiritual" are seen by many as being "higher" than things like earthly lust (or earthly anything).

To many people, adding a religious or "spiritual" element to the attraction and relationship "adds something" to the relationship. Adds something to the attraction. Adds something to the "love."

I don't follow that line of reasoning as I'm not a religious/"spiritual" sort of person; but many others do.

^
Yeah, neither am I - at least not religious or with any "supernatural/occult" inclinations.

My observation is that there are a lot of compatible people out there, even for the most strange of us. I sometimes (just for amusement) like to ponder on how many of them we actually get to meet (and who knows, maybe just pass each other in the street) and how easy it is sometimes to meet a very well suited person but be somewhat... out of synch with where we each are in our lives.

Magz made some really good posts a while ago about how just being with somebody, even "the right person" is not enough to build a good, healthy relationship.