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Met a girl online.

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Outsider85
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05 Oct 2019, 2:44 pm

I still have the attitude of no one is willing to get off their high horse and give me a chance. Why do we live in a shallow society?



IsabellaLinton
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05 Oct 2019, 3:43 pm

Outsider85 wrote:
She is not career motivated at all. I think that this is a problem.


How do you know she isn't career motivated? Did you infer this by her lack of interest in discussing careers, or did she say it directly? Does she work now?

It's possible that if she is on the spectrum, she might be receiving government assistance. That doesn't mean she has no income, even though she wouldn't be seeking a career. Maybe she is in a burnout / breakdown, or is dealing with comorbid conditions which prevent her from working full time. Many of us on WP are financially self-sufficient even if we don't have careers. Others may not be solvent but they would still be loving and devoted partners, and contribute as much as possible financially. I wouldn't write her off until learning more about her situation.


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Outsider85
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05 Oct 2019, 3:56 pm

She is a house keeper and told me she isn’t career motivated.



Outsider85
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05 Oct 2019, 3:57 pm

I asked her for her number. She is monogamous, told me.



IsabellaLinton
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05 Oct 2019, 4:14 pm

Outsider85 wrote:
She is a house keeper and told me she isn’t career motivated.


I think she sounds like a nice person with simple tastes. I hope you don't reject her just because she doesn't want a career. There are many men on WP who worry they'll never attract a partner because they don't have flashy jobs or big salaries, too. We look beyond the superficial for those men and should do the same for women. I'm glad you got her number. Get to know her, and see how it goes.

Good luck!


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Outsider85
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05 Oct 2019, 4:19 pm

She hasn’t replied yet. I’m trying to be open minded, put a human face and gentleman like conduct on men. Let me ask the ladies this. I like to cook Italian food, wine and candlelight dinner, what are the ladies thoughts on my style?



kraftiekortie
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05 Oct 2019, 4:26 pm

That doesn’t happen too often these days.

Most of the time, both members of the relationship work.



IsabellaLinton
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05 Oct 2019, 4:26 pm

Outsider85 wrote:
She hasn’t replied yet. I’m trying to be open minded, put a human face and gentleman like conduct on men. Let me ask the ladies this. I like to cook Italian food, wine and candlelight dinner, what are the ladies thoughts on my style?


Every person has different tastes, so it depends on your date's preferences. Some people don't like Italian because of carbs or acidity or just personal taste, some people don't drink, and some people don't like candles. My exbf has a phobia of candles and open flames, and won't allow them in his home.

Personally, I think it sounds nice. I have all my meals by candlelight for sensory reasons, because electric lights hurt my eyes. I like Italian, especially if it's spicy. I rarely have wine, but I do like it.

If you are dating someone longterm you can't make Italian every night, so you'll have to expand the repertoire depending on what she enjoys.


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Outsider85
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05 Oct 2019, 4:30 pm

Worst thing I would ask my girlfriend to do for this date is get dolled up.



IsabellaLinton
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05 Oct 2019, 4:33 pm

Outsider85 wrote:
Worst thing I would ask my girlfriend to do for this date is get dolled up.


Ummm ... is that even a thing? If a partner asked me to dress a certain way, I'd say adios.


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Outsider85
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05 Oct 2019, 4:34 pm

I would wear my suit.



IsabellaLinton
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05 Oct 2019, 4:35 pm

Outsider85 wrote:
I would wear my suit.


You cook while wearing a suit?


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Outsider85
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05 Oct 2019, 4:37 pm

Yes. My suit with black bow tie.



IsabellaLinton
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05 Oct 2019, 4:42 pm

I definitely wouldn't suggest cooking for her on your first date. Most women would want to meet in public. It's also stressful when someone cooks for me because I'm worried I won't like what they made and it will hurt their feelings. It's easier to order from a menu if we are going to share a meal.

It's a lot to manage between the anxiety of meeting someone new, trying to connect with them, and also feeling a pressure to like what they've cooked. Get to know her first, see her food preferences, and wait until she's comfortable meeting at your home. That might take a while.


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Outsider85
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05 Oct 2019, 4:45 pm

Oh, it’s not the first date. Its about almost two months of dating, I do this. I ask her if she likes Italian. After the dinner we dance slowly.



Outsider85
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06 Oct 2019, 4:48 pm

I got her number and texted her. She texted me one message. Now what?