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My only actual relationship

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CubsBullsBears
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21 Nov 2019, 9:08 pm

Marknis wrote:
What are you saying? I don’t have hope at all.
Have there been any other women in the past that you knew had a crush on you?


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SharonB
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21 Nov 2019, 9:22 pm

During this period I watched movies that made me cry (hard) and read books that lifted me up (a bit).

I also could listen to this a million times. (yes, he has what others might want -could be trigger- and is still blue)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68ugkg9RePc

By the way, I am posting there b/c I am trying to lessen a meltdown tonight... it doesn't stop, people, we get through it. And it is worth it. (I can say that now, most of the time. I couldn't have at your age.)



CubsBullsBears
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21 Nov 2019, 9:45 pm

The guy singing is just talking about how his skin color and everything else in his life is "blue". Nothing about him feeling sad.


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SharonB
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21 Nov 2019, 11:10 pm

CubsBullsBears wrote:
The guy singing is just talking about how his skin color and everything else in his life is "blue". Nothing about him feeling sad.


I am sure my "hypofeeling" AS BFF would have a similar response as yourself. It spoke/speaks to me, a "hyperfeeling" AS person, about depression.

To your point, even before I posted (b/c I know how you all are here) I tried to find what the song writers said about its meaning. I didn't readily find it, but I just found this rambling musing about it (by someone like me maybe :wink: ): https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ez7v ... -da-ba-dee



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Nov 2019, 1:18 am

Many of my much younger cousins having their own children now.



The Grand Inquisitor
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22 Nov 2019, 1:59 am

SharonB wrote:
During this period I watched movies that made me cry (hard) and read books that lifted me up (a bit).

I also could listen to this a million times. (yes, he has what others might want -could be trigger- and is still blue)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68ugkg9RePc

By the way, I am posting there b/c I am trying to lessen a meltdown tonight... it doesn't stop, people, we get through it. And it is worth it. (I can say that now, most of the time. I couldn't have at your age.)

If you're ever sad-angry, go with this version



The Grand Inquisitor
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22 Nov 2019, 2:08 am

CubsBullsBears wrote:
The guy singing is just talking about how his skin color and everything else in his life is "blue". Nothing about him feeling sad.


Blue
/bluː/
adjective
1.
of a colour intermediate between green and violet, as of the sky or sea on a sunny day.
"the clear blue sky"

2.
INFORMAL
(of a person or mood) melancholy, sad, or depressed.
"he's feeling blue"



Marknis
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22 Nov 2019, 3:36 am

CubsBullsBears wrote:
The guy singing is just talking about how his skin color and everything else in his life is "blue". Nothing about him feeling sad.


He even mentions having a girlfriend.



SharonB
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22 Nov 2019, 11:14 am

Marknis wrote:
He even mentions having a girlfriend.

I know. And a house and a corvette. Perhaps they are true references or could be writer's license (or whatever that term is). He doesn't mention blue books and blue pets. What are this man's values? I still like the song. I don't need to have his values or circumstances to enjoy the sentiment.

It's rough being a minority, when the majority things are taken for granted. Even though I have kids now, I still get uncomfortable when a young woman announces/shows a pregnancy. (Is that normal or mild PTSD?) Perhaps you feel similarly agitated in your circumstances.



Marknis
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22 Nov 2019, 5:52 pm

SharonB wrote:
Marknis wrote:
He even mentions having a girlfriend.

I know. And a house and a corvette. Perhaps they are true references or could be writer's license (or whatever that term is). He doesn't mention blue books and blue pets. What are this man's values? I still like the song. I don't need to have his values or circumstances to enjoy the sentiment.

It's rough being a minority, when the majority things are taken for granted. Even though I have kids now, I still get uncomfortable when a young woman announces/shows a pregnancy. (Is that normal or mild PTSD?) Perhaps you feel similarly agitated in your circumstances.


It only makes me feel down if the pregnant girl is cute and nerdy. If she’s a redneck or ghetto woman, I want to vomit.



TheMentalHealthBlog
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22 Nov 2019, 10:25 pm

Marknis wrote:
I actually had a short-lived relationship back in 2010. It was with a girl who was in the same support group and she actually showed interest in me first. We actually spent Valentine’s Day together which was a first for me as well. Sadly, the relationship fizzled out but it was neither our faults. She’s currently living in Canada because she wanted to live with her mother who wanted to move back there after breaking up with her American husband. Last I heard of her, she’s married to a Canadian man and enjoying life up there.

I haven’t been able to establish another relationship since that only one and my best efforts have only ended in failure. I fear that it was my first and only time for love.


What are you actively doing to try to meet someone?



Marknis
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22 Nov 2019, 10:28 pm

CubsBullsBears wrote:
Marknis wrote:
What are you saying? I don’t have hope at all.
Have there been any other women in the past that you knew had a crush on you?


Some girls expressed attraction for me during my school years but I didn’t feel the same for them.

TheMentalHealthBlog wrote:
What are you actively doing to try to meet someone?


I’ve been really burned out socially so I haven’t been doing anything.



SharonB
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23 Nov 2019, 10:22 am

Marknis wrote:
It only makes me feel down if the pregnant girl is cute and nerdy. If she’s a redneck or ghetto woman, I want to vomit.

Did you took me literally, or are you teasing?

If the former, I meant that me seeing I see a pregnant women may be like it is for you hearing song references to girlfriends - upsetting.

If the latter, LOL!

In either case, 1 point for AS. ;)



Marknis
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23 Nov 2019, 8:40 pm

SharonB wrote:
Marknis wrote:
It only makes me feel down if the pregnant girl is cute and nerdy. If she’s a redneck or ghetto woman, I want to vomit.

Did you took me literally, or are you teasing?

If the former, I meant that me seeing I see a pregnant women may be like it is for you hearing song references to girlfriends - upsetting.

If the latter, LOL!

In either case, 1 point for AS. ;)


I meant it literally. Even if they aren’t pregnant but have children, I still feel down. I saw a cute woman wearing glasses with a small child at the comic book store today and it made me wonder why I never encounter them before they get coupled up.

My mother brought up old news earlier this week about a woman she wanted me to date many years ago but not only was I not interested in her romantically, her parents wouldn’t even let her date. They were so strict to the point they won’t even let her have platonic male friends.



SharonB
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23 Nov 2019, 10:32 pm

Would you consider a relationship with a woman who has a child(ren)?

Children aren't for everyone, so please skip this if stories about kids might land wrong. I had a friend who seemed solely attracted to women with children. Sure enough, today (decades later) he's a husband and (step)father of four. I love, love, love the story of the man who signed up for foster care in order to date a women with guardianship or something like that. He got his license, but had already broken up with her. The agency called anyways and he reluctantly agreed to foster two boys ----- who are now his (adoptive) sons. I fostered once - it was good for both of us. My husband didn't think he could love a child he wasn't "his" and he discovered … he could.



Marknis
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25 Nov 2019, 1:24 pm

SharonB wrote:
Would you consider a relationship with a woman who has a child(ren)?

Children aren't for everyone, so please skip this if stories about kids might land wrong. I had a friend who seemed solely attracted to women with children. Sure enough, today (decades later) he's a husband and (step)father of four. I love, love, love the story of the man who signed up for foster care in order to date a women with guardianship or something like that. He got his license, but had already broken up with her. The agency called anyways and he reluctantly agreed to foster two boys ----- who are now his (adoptive) sons. I fostered once - it was good for both of us. My husband didn't think he could love a child he wasn't "his" and he discovered … he could.


If she’s having fights with an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband over the children and I could get dragged into it, that’s a deal breaker for me. I also have irritability issues regarding children. When they scream or throw tantrums, it hurts my ears.