My aspie partner wants me to have a termination

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Borromeo
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29 Nov 2019, 6:46 am

I and many other Aspies love being alive. We helped build the modern world. By the way, you did contradict yourself. You said "Abortion is the woman's choice" and then said "I think you should terminate it." Empathy much? I'll say the same here as they say about the Young Republicans--"they get frothing at the mouth over a fetus but don't give a damn after it's born." Well, don't forget that the kid, who might be an embryo & might be a fetus at the moment, isn't even guaranteed autistic. Kid's got lots of opportunities--a whole life ahead of it, and it sounds like it's got a wonderful mother who is a very caring & empathetic person. I certainly hope no one has to live in a world with discrimination and sensory problems, but that's easily accomplished. I'll change the lightbulbs and the rest of y'all keep your mouths shut.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 134 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


DorkyNerd
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29 Nov 2019, 3:11 pm

I stand by what I said 100 percent!



The Grand Inquisitor
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29 Nov 2019, 3:45 pm

Kimblesblue wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I must say that as a woman in her 30s who clearly wants kids, I can't understand why you'd get with or stay with a guy who is clearly hellbent against the idea. Did you think he was going to change his mind or were you okay with not having kids?[/color]


He didn’t say never to kids but like anyone else he’d have liked to discuss and plan it but life hasn’t worked out that way.

I have decided to keep my baby if he comes round, he does and if he doesn’t I’ll go it alone. I can’t abort the baby of someone I love it just feels wrong.

Yeah, I understand not liking when things don't go according to plan, but this is a pretty extreme reaction for a guy who wanted kids further down the line. I'd only expect this kind of reaction from a guy who never wanted kids and hated the idea of having kids, or maybe if the conception was a result of a one-night stand.



Borromeo
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29 Nov 2019, 3:58 pm

DorkyNerd wrote:
I stand by what I said 100 percent!

Euthanizing a disabled fetus isn't malicious. It is mercy. It is doing the fetus a huge favor.

You want a kid who will be mercilessly bullied and conned and exploited and ignored and treated like s**t his entire life?!?!

Having no friends and never getting invited to parties and being single all the time and being relentlessly abused and possibly raped- you love that?!


For starters, there is no guarantee that the fetus will develop Aspergers' syndrome. All we know is that the woman's runaway partner is autistic (and appears to be the sort who lacks strongly in empathy.)

Regarding your list of why we should not be born, it is a most excellent straw-man: a day earlier you could have used it for a Thanksgiving decoration. Nobody "loves" those kinds of risks, nor your run-on sentence in which you described them. You must think I'm one of the dumbest people on earth.

Autism is not a sentence to that kind of life. I am autistic. I've been harassed in the street to the point where I was afraid to walk to work, I've never kissed a girl (which, admittedly, doesn't bother me too much) and I've had a rough start in life because I wasn't diagnosed until I was 19. My parents treated the problems I was having when life was too much to handle like they were moral failings rather than medical, and there followed a state of undeclared Cold War. I've dealt with a mess. (Incidentally, the harassment is a reason I support firearms training & ownership.)

But that doesn't make my life or your life or anyone's life worthless. My family and I are actually very close--though it's hard to get in touch with them over serious things, sometimes. But that's fine. I'm not a Labrador retriever, so I'm not extremely emotionally needy.

Suicide attempts: tough topic for everyone. (I'm quite glad you had a real friend in college, and even happier that she never succeeded in killing herself; the world is brighter for it because someone, somewhere, thinks she's a wonderful person.) I've come very close to painting the room with a shot-gun before, or waiting in a blind curve to catch a freight train. But that's usually because of a case of burnout or sensory overload kicking in. When the old hopelessness begins over again, then it happens--but it is illogical, so I'd always prefer to live, and never follow through. Over time they have become just ridiculous thoughts. I don't know how other Aspies deal with them. We've all got our coping mechanisms, and we need to find the one that is right for us.

Your friend probably wanted to jump because something or someone was hurting her, not because her life was worthless. I don't think anyone is really worthless, but we can sure convince ourselves of that.

My family wasn't ripped apart by my existence, and I don't think I appreciate your talk about this; now finish up because tomorrow I'm going on a date (with an autistic girl) and don't have time to deal with why neither she nor I should have been born.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 134 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


kraftiekortie
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29 Nov 2019, 4:41 pm

I deserve to live, Godammit!

So what if I'm autistic!

Anybody who talks about aborting autistic children approvingly should not be on WrongPlanet....period.

They haven't earned the RIGHT to be on WrongPlanet.

There's no room here for that sort of crap.



kraftiekortie
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29 Nov 2019, 4:50 pm

I'm glad the OP decided to keep the baby.

I'm not "pro-life" or anything---but it still feels good to me.

There are many Spectrumite women who can be good mothers.

Sometimes, I wish I would have had a son or daughter.



B19
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29 Nov 2019, 4:53 pm

Let's end on that note, this thread took a very offensive turn, and the flaming has been edited out.

OP, I suggest you talk to a counsellor who can help you sort out your feelings and thoughts about this topic. Here is not the place.

For any new member, please note that it's required to read the rules before posting and post within the rules when you are posting. That's the first rule of Wrong Planet.