Asperger's syndrome + PTSD = bad combo?

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Nah. It's no huge deal. I'm rational, and try to look ahead. I have no regrets really. It was nice getting to know someone new and I hope we'll stay friends somehow. With some distance to this. I have no conflict with her, and won't go there. But she seems to be going down that road - the PTSD(?) conflict road, that is.

We might end up together. Later. Possibly in a parallell universe. But it's just not possible now. It doesn't work.

"Relationships are not meant to last forever" - like a (somewhat autistic, without diagnose) friend said to me a couple of years ago. Perhaps they are meant to last more than four months though?

I've been "rational" (avoidant or detached). I was reading letters from my youth and multiple partners commented how I seemed unconcerned during the break up (and one was ASD-like). I remember --- "switch" it's over, move on - the typical ASD B&W thinking. Now I don't need to avoid (as much) b/c I manage upset and conflict better and notice and express my feelings better. I started 10 yrs ago with "even though the expression on my face (and the sound of my voice) may seem to indicate otherwise, I really am very concerned...". Come to think of it, my sister challenged me just late last year ("you aren't even upset"; I explained I was shaking like a twig on the inside). Now I can emotionally regulate well enough to engage with less extreme suppression or meltdowns.

Because of emotional regulation difficulties, it seems many of us -if we are able- initially choose detachment (avoidance) in order to avoid meltdowns. Then if we are further able, or have the desire, we learn to emotionally regulate more and can attach with more moderation of our avoidance or meltdowns.

I have detailed examples (which I deleted b/c it was too much). In short, my ASD-like BFF is detached in her relationship (seems similar to what you are looking for) and is moving towards more attachment. My ASD-like mom swings from one extreme to the other (seems similar to what you are looking to avoid - for good reason), and is moving towards modulation. I selected an relatively avoidant partner in my second long-term relationship and now move from "rational" to "feeling" with more moderation and we seem to have a relatively healthy level of conflict.

Personally, interestingly, I am leaving a long-term, now hostile work "relationship". I could be "rational" (and leave), as my ASD co-worker did before me, but I am finding value in addressing the conflict even though it means (embarrassing) emotional regulation attempts. My ASD assessor assured me the high distress I feel in these situations is not apparent on the outside ("lucky" me), but the will power I have to use is quite awful. I understand why I wanted to avoid that in my youth, and others continue to.